Anything to get the rubes into the sideshow

All the usual suspects love "global warming" - it's such a nice way of filling their coffers and fulfilling their control fantasies at the same time. So I guess we shouldn't be surprised that Rowan Williams has decided that it's just the ticket to boost the flagging vitality of the Church of England. Check out this virtuous Viagra:

The preachers in England have fallen on hard times since they pretty much turned Jesus out of the church, but the archbishop of Canterbury has come up with a novel idea to make himself relevant: If you can't get 'em to church, get 'em to the greenhouse.

The churches of England — the churches of the Church of England — are going eco-friendly.

Dr. Rowan Williams wants his vicars to serve only organic bread and wine for holy communion, ...

Reminds me of the ancient joke about the parishioner that wanted his communion wafer toasted, but I digress.

to urge parishioners to ride to service in car pools, recycle "waste products," and to sell only "fair trade products" at church fairs and Bingo suppers. Anglicans should consider the ethics of the High Streets and shopping malls.

I'm not sure what the latter means, but undoubtedly it's the fault of evil capitalists.

He will outline his vision of a green world at a session of the General Synod of his church later this month. The gospel of global warning, not the Gospel of the Good News, is the challenge with which he wants his church to confront Britain and, naturally, the United States. Organic brussels sprouts, not organic accompaniment to the mighty hymns to the faith, should be the first order of Sunday worship in the stately empty pews of England.

There will soon be standing room only, I'm sure.

A "discussion document" has been distributed among the churches, and it deals with climate, not Christ, warning that the planet's climate is close to a tipping point.

Can you say Millerites, children? But here's the bottom line:

The greening of what remains of the British state church is part of a fresh effort to shame America into stunting the nation's growth on behalf of the lazy buggers of the world, mostly Europeans. If the lazy buggers have a prayer of making themselves equals of the Americans, the Americans have to be brought down to size. Going green, to match the color of the envy of American prosperity and power, is the lazy-bugger recipe for an equality of shrunken expectations.

The archbishop's organic bread and communion wine accompanies the British offensive in behalf of the Kyoto Protocol, which a succession of presidents and a unanimous vote of the U.S. Senate consigned to irrelevance. But Kyoto, as disastrous as it would be if a president or the Congress should be so suicidal as to attempt to impose it on the American economy, does not go far enough.

"It has taken far too long to be ratified as each country fights for its own interests (the United States is notable among countries which have declined to sign)," the ecclesiastical discussion document goes on, and "its targets fall very far short of what is necessary."

I'd say it's nearly "virgins in the volcano" time! Sorry girls, but it's tough appeasing angry weather gods! However, despite my natural desire to see the festivities, I would suggest that Rowan not call us, but instead wait for us to ring him.

And related - Global warming hotheads would burn sceptics at the stake. It's just like the good old days!