Maybe he hears them talking to him inside his head?

Kerry fails to back up foreign 'endorsements'

Sen. John Kerry refuses to provide any information to support his assertion earlier this week that he has met with foreign leaders who beseeched him to prevail over President Bush in November's election.

The Massachusetts Democrat has made no official foreign trips since the start of last year, according to Senate records and his own published schedules. And an extensive review of Mr. Kerry's travel schedule domestically revealed only one opportunity for the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee to meet with foreign leaders here.

Actually, that's real generous to the Botox Boy. It turns out that on one of Lurch's rare visits to the site of his day job in Washington D.C., the New Zealand Foreign Minister was in town the same day in meetings at the State Department.

On Monday, Mr. Kerry told reporters in Florida that he'd met with foreign leaders who privately endorsed him.

"I've met with foreign leaders who can't go out and say this publicly," he said. "But, boy, they look at you and say: 'You've got to win this. You've got to beat this guy. We need a new policy.' Things like that."

Aides and supporters of Mr. Kerry have said providing names of the leaders or their countries would injure those nations' ongoing relations with the current Bush administration.

"In terms of who he's talked to, we're not going to discuss that," spokeswoman Stephanie Cutter said yesterday. "I know it would be helpful, but we're not going into that. His counsels are kept private."

Bwahahaha. You could always try "he can't remember," Steph!

Mr. Kerry has made other claims during the campaign and then refused to back them up, including statements that Mr. Bush delayed the deal with Libya to give up its weapons of mass destruction program for political reasons.

Republicans have begun calling Mr. Kerry the "international man of mystery," and said his statements go even beyond those of former Vice President Al Gore, who was besieged by stories that he lied or exaggerated throughout the 2000 presidential campaign.

This is better than Kuku and the orbital mind control lasers! But Botox Boy as Austin Powers? Hmm, rearranging the letters in "JOHN KERRY" does spell "HORNY JERK".

And speaking of the rare occasions when Botox Boy shows up at his day job, he was there yesterday to pal around with the other Donk Senators in a photo op. Here's a snap. Does that look like the bar scene is Star Wars or what?