Bon appetit!
France Assigns New Terms for 'Email' and 'Spam':

The French Ministry of Culture today officially banned the use of the terms 'email' and 'spam' from government documents and web sites. The ruling aims to slow the epidemic of American words which have invaded the French lexicon.
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The term 'spam' which comes from the American packaged meat products industry, will be replaced with the term "snausages," which the Culture Ministry says is "evocative, with a very French sound."

A ministry spokesman acknowledged that the term resembles the name of the American dog snack, but it's pronounced differently.

"In any case," said the unnamed source, "the pet treat Snausages is manufactured by Heinz, and so we have a delightful connection with one of your French-looking Senators, who is married to Teresa Heinz. We think of John Kerry as one of our own. He's even a veteran of a war in one of our former colonies."

It's ScrappleFace.