Today Saddam made yet another statement - Saddam Hussein: 'Victory Is at Hand'! But the funny thing is that he's never at hand himself.
Saddam did not appear in person, and there was no way to verify if any of the statements actually came from the Iraqi leader.Guys, this will never do! Here's a suggestion:
Have the puppet bounce up and down while reading the statement - it's a winner!
Over at Little Tiny Lies, Steve reports another theory - Iraqi Info Minister: Hussein Living it Up at Orlando Resort
Today, groans erupted throughout Iraq as Saddam Hussein failed to show up for a much-touted live TV appearance. Instead, Minister of Information Saeed al-Sahaf appeared and read a letter drafted by the low-profile despot. A transcript follows.Much more by following the link including their visit to Disney World.
Al-Sahaf: Our fearless leader Saddam Hussein regret he not be here today, and he provide letter which I now read to you. "Dear Subjects: Hi from Uncle Saddam in sunny Florida. I fine, not being turned into lumpy pulp by puny cruise missile or anything like that. Hoping you are same. Uday and Qusay here too and send hugs and kisses.
...
We fly to Fort Lauderdale and Delta lose bloody bags. May thousand djinns dance in their sphincters with football shoes. Girl at counter offer $750 per bag, like that going to pay for new anthrax and AK-47. I want to shoot her, but Qusay not let me, and besides, AK-47 on way to Denver.
This all I need after twelve hours of Uday asking "are we there yet?" until Saddam's ears bleed. And Uday and Qusay fight whole time. "Papa, Uday make faces at me." "Papa, Qusay touching me." Ymam tell Saddam not to marry niece, but Saddam, he young, he know everything. He now sorry for shooting Ymam in knees.
Bloody uniforms gone, so Saddam go to Ron Jon's and buy day-glo baggies with large flowers. Clerk say Saddam 'styling.' Refuse to take Baghdad Express Traveler's Cheques because not know what 'dinars' are, but Uday staple clerk's zib to counter, and clerk change mind.
Saddam and boys take in wet T-shirt contest. Like very much, but Uday pout when not allowed to rape contestants. When return to Iraq, plan to celebrate easy victory over swine-eating infidels with nationwide wet burqa contest.
