Saturday, January 11, 2003

And the results are in!
Tim Blair's attempt to assist the delusional British poet laureate, Andrew Motion Lotion, has produced quite a crop. My favorite is from Joseph Latino:
They drink good wine, but never try
To understand that brave men die
So they can carp, and whine, and cry
That freedom's leader isn't a fucking idiotic socialist appeaser of fascism.
But I was never much for scansion.

Mark Steyn also weighs in with a in-depth expose, Going through the motions:
Now, in this exclusive excerpt from his forthcoming memoir, Going Through the Motions, Andrew Motion reveals the inspiration and passion behind this classic of English poetry:

So I was pottering about the house when the phone rang: "Professor Motion?" said a female voice. "It's the Guardian here. We were wondering if you might like to give us a poem about the war. Ideally, we're talking something shorter than Tom Paulin but longer than Gillian Wearing . . ."

"Please listen carefully to the following menu options," I said, and patched her through to customer service: "If you're a royal duchess in need of an ode to your hernia operation, press one. For sonnets, press two. Haikus, press three . . ."

She came back five minutes later. "We'd like to go for the Premium Quatrain package, including complimentary Latin-style title for £60 plus VAT," she said. "As you know, a lot of distinguished wordsmiths have spoken out against the war - Harold Pinter, George Michael, Barbra Streisand - but we feel you'd bring a unique perspective to the situation."