Sunday, December 22, 2002

It's Patty Murray Time
The always enjoyable American Prowler selects the obvious candidate for Enemy of the Week. But first an appetizer:
Billy Clinton, the little great one, or great little one, whichever you prefer, continued his newest comeback by pronouncing the Republican Party fundamentally racist. There he went again, projecting like someone still deeply troubled for going ahead with the execution of a lobotomized black prisoner on the eve of a critical Democratic presidential primary in early 1992. In happier news, Clinton is back to competing with Jimmy Carter overseas, writing for the International Herald-Tribune that America must not "dominate" but rather focus on supporting such institutions of "global community" as the United Nations. Well, at least the Clinton-Carter competition isn't over a woman.
Ah, Bubba and Jimmy, there's a dynamic duo! But they don't quite have what it takes this week:
In more normal times we'd do our hiding behind the skirts of a maternal figure like Sen. Patty Murray, famous for winning her Senate seat as a "mom in tennis shoes." What we didn't know is that instead of letting the family dog chew on those shoes she decided to do so herself, and now their rubber and plastic residue has entered her brainstream, leading to hallucinatory pronouncements about all that the popular Osama bin Laden has done to build roads, health-care facilities and day-care centers around the world. Could she be confusing Osama with Jimmy Carter and his many good works? Or is Jimmy not violent enough for the little mom? Not since Squeaky Fromme and Patty Hearst have we heard such an eruption from a seething cauldron of suburban angst.
Spoiler alert - Patty wins it in a walk. Must be those darn right-wing haters again!