Monday, November 03, 2008

Obama's Favorite Aunt Zeituni to Become Campaign Poster Girl

Today, the Obama campaign announced that for the closing 24 hours of the presidential campaign, Barack Obama's favorite aunt Zeituni will become the poster girl of the campaign since she embodies all the aspects of Obama's plan for America - most particularly spreading the wealth of selfish people to those less fortunate. Below is Zeituni's statement released by the Obama campaign.

America been berry, berry good to me!

Thass right. I come to America on tourist visa but with high hopes for work and experience in brewery as well as great dancer. No one could give job since I only tourist and selfish people say that illegal. (Actually, dancing bars say I too old.) Not to worry, the People's Republic of Massachusetts beg me to take free housing, free food, free medical care, and free money for doing nothing!

Have I died and gone to heaven? Kenya was nothing like this. I even get extra money for being "health care advocate." No - nothing icky. I just help other people sign up for more free benefits. Is that great or what?

Only bad thing is that four years ago judge say I have to leave country because illegal. I worry, but friends say he just selfish, ignore him - so I do. No one bother me since! I even got to attend ceremony for Barack being sworn in as Senator in 2005. Anyone know why he cross fingers?

Now Barack's friends have me in fancy hotel until campaign over. They say, "Don't worry Aunty. No one will bother you." That OK, I just eat room service lobster and watch election news on all the Barack TV channels.

My advice - ignore selfish people Barack channels tell about. Vote for Barack and you may be able to live as well as I do! Even if you aren't related!