Friday, August 15, 2008

I confess, I am the father of Rielle Hunter's baby!

Cracker Guy father of Rielle Hunter's baby
I see where John Edward's goofy gofer Andy Young is getting $20,000 a month for pretending to be the father of Rielle Hunter's baby. It's not clear whether that includes the rent on the multimillion mansion in Santa Barbara where he was comically living with his wife Cheri, his 3 kids, and Rielle and her baby until Rielle and Cheri got to fussing and Rielle moved to a separate fully furnished mansion that rented for $9000 a month. It's also not clear whether it includes family cars - Rielle was driving a BMW. Still, it's a nice chunk of change for no work.

Aside from an astonishing criminal record and being unemployed, it's not obvious what Andy Young brings to the job beyond an endearing loyalty to John Edwards. However, for $20,000 a month plus Rielle's $9,0000 housing allowance, I can be very loyal and obviously my studly demeanor

Cracker Guymakes me a much more credible candidate for the role of a philanderer. What's more, I won't have any family trouble since my wife suggested I apply for the job and she's airing out the guest room right now!

I told her, "These young blondes can be mighty flighty, but I'll try my best to handle Rielle if I get the gig."

She said, "Shut up, you old fool! The only thing you'll be handling is dirty diapers. Rielle and I are going to be busy shopping and going to New Age soirees in the BMW. You're going to be taking care of the baby."

I guess I'd have to hire my scary neighbor Skeeter and his hound dog Rex to keep off the reporters, but that way I'd have someone to talk to while I tend to the Pampers and pablum.

So, hey Fred Baron! Give me a jingle. I'm a much better candidate for the job of love child daddy and I might even give you a nice Country Store discount.