And speaking of the kleptocrats at the United Nations

The Diplomad reminds us that the UN labored mightily and delivered up a massive report on how to cure poverty in the world. The NY Times says it is 3000 words long, the United Nations says it is 3000 pages long, but going to the dumpster myself, I can only find 353 pages. Whatever. Here's the Cliff's Notes version: Give the United Nations more money.

The problem with this, aside from not trusting the UN with more than a 5 spot, is that the poverty in the third world isn't so much due to lack of money as it is to mismanagement. I really want to dig deep to give the United Nations money to pass on, minus fees, to someone crazier than an outhouse rat like Bobby Mugabe so that he can "fight poverty" in his thugocracy. Zimbabwe used to be prosperous and well fed until he got his meat hooks on it. In Zimbabwe's "War on Poverty" Bobby should be the prime target. Is the UN planning to remove him? I didn't think so. From the Times article:

The report says there are anywhere from a dozen to three dozen nations in Africa and Asia that could be put on a fast track for aid immediately.

But for nations like Belarus, Myanmar, North Korea and Zimbabwe, whose political leaders are widely criticized, ``there is little case of large scale aid,'' the report said.

Aid should be channeled through humanitarian groups, who can monitor progress on the ground.

From their Toyota Land Cruisers, no doubt. Yeah, that'll sure help. And that's just the "widely criticized" thugocracies.

Of course when they aren't goggle-eyed at the the thought of all that cash, even the UN weenies notice that folks are a tad skeptical of how effective a huge cash injection would be. Here's moon-calf Columbia professor Jeffrey Sachs, the lead author of the report:

Mosquito bed nets, for example, are cheap and could be distributed easily to save children from dying of malaria. ``There is no black market for mosquito nets,'' Sachs said, acknowledging that many nations feared corruption.

Sigh. I hate to tell ya, Jeff, but there is a black market for every good or service. In Zimbabwe you don't get any of the relief aid if you aren't in Bobby's political party. In the Congo, UN peacekeepers buy sex with candy bars. And in Burma, the military tries to bribe NGO's to get mosquito nets from relief supplies. What Jeff means is that the UN sanctioned mosquito nets, which have to be periodically retreated with a "safe" insecticide, aren't worth very much on the black market since they are a pain to use. There is a black market for DDT which is much preferred for malaria control but anathema to the UN ecoweenies. "There's no black market for horseshoes" either, Jeff.

Update: If you want something more than my Cliff's Notes version of the UN report, there's always the ScrappleFace version - Report: U.N. Could End Global Poverty with Cash:

"This research shows that the root cause of poverty is the absence of money," said Mr. Annan. "Our experts tell us that if we give enough cash to poor people, then they become middle-income people. Naturally, the cash we give them should come from countries that now have too much cash."

Mr. Annan immediately proposed a plan to distribute cash to poor people, with the United Nations serving as middleman and retaining "only the usual processing fee of no more than 65 percent."

Think of it as a "tsunami tax"

The sight of all that cash for tsunami relief has apparently made UN weenie Jan "Stingy" Egeland a tad nervous because he's not getting enough of it. So - UN chief warns of 'megadisaster'. Ruh Oh! I think I saw the movie, but tell us more, Jan!

The UN's disaster chief has outlined a 10-year plan of investment to avert a natural disaster that could be 100 times worse than the Asian tsunami.

Jan Egeland proposed diverting 10% of what is currently spent on emergency relief to tackle disaster prevention.

Visions of sugar plums danced in his head, but he has the technique down pat.

First you set up the marks:

He told a conference in Kobe, Japan, that action needed to be taken to prevent a "megadisaster in a megacity".

If that happened, the casualty rate could be 100 times worse than that of December's tsunami, he warned.

Then you baffle them:

He added: "We have a momentum of understanding, and we have to use that as much as we can to get institutions going and get funds, not only for relief but also for early warning, for prevention and development."
...
Mr. Egeland urged the 3,000 delegates to adopt a "proposed framework of action".

Then you go for the con:

"I would propose that over the next 10 years, a minimum of 10% of the large sums now spent on emergency relief by all nations should be earmarked for disaster reduction," he said.

He said there needed to be better city planning, more development and investment in poorer areas.

And I'm sure the UN will be glad to collect and disburse the dough just like they did in the Iraqi "Oil for Food" program. The UN kleptocrats are on money like flies on cowflops.

Oh, by the way, the swell 3,000 attendee conference where Jan passed this gas? Check out Disaster talks agree action plan. Not really:

A UN conference has adopted an action plan to reduce casualties and damage caused by natural disaster, following the recent Indian Ocean tsunami.
...
But the five-day forum failed to set specific targets or deadlines from implementing the plan.
...
After marathon talks, delegates agreed on the text of a declaration that was then approved at the end of the conference on Saturday.

"It is vital to give high priority to disaster risk reduction in national policy, consistent with [governments' ] capacities and resources available," the declaration said.

Sheesh! "Marthon talks" or marathon drinking in the local watering holes? They could have tossed me a few McKinleys and I would have written it for them and saved all the travel expenses. Of course, expense account padding is a vital function of all UN activities, so I'm not expecting any phone calls.

"We believe it is critically important that the Hyogo Framework for Action be translated into concrete action at all levels," the document - named after Hyogo Prefecture - said.

How come the Japanese get stuck with all the winners? First Kyoto, now Hyogo.

The forum also agreed to put the UN in charges of building a tsunami alert system for the Indian Ocean to be operational in up to 18 months.

The plan urges nations to share satellite-based weather forecasting data, draw up hazard maps and work out disaster-response strategies over the next 10 years.

File this one under "Duh," but the UN will be glad to coordinate. For a fee.

I'd make 'em walk the plank

Keelhauling's too good - No Relief in Sight for the Lincoln

It has been three weeks since my ship, the USS Abraham Lincoln, arrived off the Sumatran coast to aid the hundreds of thousands of victims of the Dec. 26 tsunami that ravaged their coastline. I’d like to say that this has been a rewarding experience for us, but it has not: Instead, it has been a frustrating and needlessly dangerous exercise made even more difficult by the Indonesian government and a traveling circus of so-called aid workers who have invaded our spaces.

What really irritated me was a scene I witnessed in the Lincoln’s wardroom a few days ago. I went in for breakfast as I usually do, expecting to see the usual crowd of ship’s company officers in khakis and air wing aviators in flight suits, drinking coffee and exchanging rumors about when our ongoing humanitarian mission in Sumatra is going to end.

What I saw instead was a mob of civilians sitting around like they owned the place. They wore various colored vests with logos on the back including Save The Children, World Health Organization and the dreaded baby blue vest of the United Nations. Mixed in with this crowd were a bunch of reporters, cameramen and Indonesian military officers in uniform. They all carried cameras, sunglasses and fanny packs like tourists on their way to Disneyland.

My warship had been transformed into a floating hotel for a bunch of trifling do-gooders overnight.

As I went through the breakfast line, I overheard one of the U.N. strap-hangers, a longhaired guy with a beard, make a sarcastic comment to one of our food servers. He said something along the lines of “Nice china, really makes me feel special,” in reference to the fact that we were eating off of paper plates that day. It was all I could do to keep from jerking him off his feet and choking him, because I knew that the reason we were eating off paper plates was to save dishwashing water so that we would have more water to send ashore and save lives. That plus the fact that he had no business being there in the first place.

Hey, these bigs are used to 5 star hotels and restaurants. They're really roughing it! But one wonders - who let the rats on board?

My attitude towards these unwanted no-loads grew steadily worse that day as I learned more from one of our junior officers who was assigned to escort a group of them. It turns out that they had come to Indonesia to “assess the damage” from the Dec. 26 tsunami.
...
As a result of having to host these people, our severely over-tasked SH-60 Seahawk helos, which were carrying tons of food and water every day to the most inaccessible places in and around Banda Aceh, are now used in great part to ferry these “relief workers” from place to place every day and bring them back to their guest bedrooms on the Lincoln at night. Despite their avowed dedication to helping the victims, these relief workers will not spend the night in-country, and have made us their guardians by default.
...
In addition to the relief workers, we routinely get tasked with hauling around reporters and various low-level “VIPs,” which further wastes valuable helo lift that could be used to carry supplies. We had to dedicate two helos and a C-2 cargo plane for America-hater Dan Rather and his entourage of door holders and briefcase carriers from CBS News. Another camera crew was from MTV. I doubt if we’ll get any good PR from them, since the cable channel is banned in Muslim countries. We also had to dedicate a helo and crew to fly around the vice mayor of Phoenix, Ariz., one day. Everyone wants in on the action.

Opening the door on the helo is good too.

More by following the link, but only if you don't have high blood pressure.

Poor Pierre!

The Scotsman astounds with Self-doubt leaves French feeling down in the mouth:

IT IS official: the French are a nation of depressed pessimists, wracked with self-doubt and unable to see a positive future.

Gosh, how can that be? They have so much cheese to go with their plentiful whine!

This gloomy portrait of the current state of Gallic morale - or rather the lack of it - was made public yesterday in a damning report by France’s prefects, the country’s top administrators.

"The French no longer believe in anything," the report said. "That is the reason that the situation is relatively calm, for they believe that it is not even worthwhile expressing their opinions or trying to be heard any more."

The country’s 100 prefects went on to use the words "lifelessness", "resignation", "anxiety" and "pessimism" to describe the attitudes they believe prevail in France today.

More handwringing by following the link, but I think it's great that the Frenchies have a national bureaucracy that measures their moodiness. I don't know why they're so grumpy, though. There's plenty of humor coming from over there.

Chumps continued

(Via Croooow Blog) The marching moonbats are one thing, but how about the pompous buffoons of the media? Well, the Media Reserch Center watches the nattering nitwits so you don't have to! And what a crop of crap there was yesterday. My fave:

Sitting by Rather, Historian Suggests Press Out to "Get" Bush

On CBS, Dan Rather wanted to know if there has "been any American President in a time of war who has asked for as little sacrifice as President Bush has done?" As he sat at the same table with Dan Rather who just months ago delivered a hit job on Bush based on forged documents, historian Joseph Ellis stressed how there are plenty of scandals which could imperil Bush's second term since as "a lame duck...the press is really out to get you. And they can get you if they want to get you. And they're going to go after him. You can already start to see it. And what the press defines as a scandal becomes a scandal." Rather quickly switched topics.

I'll bet he did!

In fact ole Captain Dan was even restrained:

Later, however, after CBS reporter Thalia Assuras insisted that along the parade route the "majority have been at this point booing the President," Rather came to Bush's defense and countered that "overall and in the main, this is a friendly, even jubilant crowd."

Thalia's got a big career ahead of her!

Oooh! Knickers in a twist alert!

From California comes U.S. Army recruiters cause uproar at College Park High

PLEASANT HILL - U.S. Army recruiters turned College Park High School's quad into a lunchtime shooting range Wednesday, much to the consternation of teachers and students.

Break out a case of doilies for the consternated ones!

Recruiters arrived on the College Park campus in a glossy big rig, bearing realistic-looking handguns with air compressors to provide the recoil kick. And they gave the student shooters prizes.

Military recruiters are no strangers on high school campuses, but they usually restrict themselves to flier distribution, strolling about the quad or putting in an occasional appearance in the college and career center.

"It's not a soldier issue," said teacher Jen Kennedy. "In this post-Columbine era, target practice with high school students leaves me speechless."

Clueless too, Jen.

U.S. Army Sgt. Delbert Miller said he and the Fort Knox marksmanship team visited College Park as just one stop on an annual tour of hundreds of schools and colleges.

"We presented it as an event for the kids," Miller said. "(We used) plastic pistols hooked up to an air compressor."

Miller, whose crew handed out water bottles, T-shirts and dog tags, said he was unaware that all weapons -- including plastic guns, water pistols and Halloween props that resemble weapons -- are banned in California schools.

Except for the security guards, er "resource officers," I'm sure. I'm from the era when larger high schools often had a shooting range in the basement, but that's a different story. Giving the tykes dildoes probably would have been OK.

If students brought to school anything like the pistols the recruiters shared with College Park students Wednesday, they'd be expelled, said junior Isaac Miller. These were "an exact replica of guns with blowback," he said. "It just seems weird."

"When you shot, it recoiled like a real gun," said senior Tom Morgenstern. "Having guns at school? It's the Army, they have a legal right to be here, but when they start bringing these games to school and try to make shooting fun?"

Get those doilies over here, there's a cleanup on aisle 7! Think of it! Shooting might be fun!

Morgenstern and fellow senior Jayme Farrell-Ranker had set up the school's tsunami relief fund-raising effort on the quad early Wednesday and soon found themselves sharing plaza space with the recruiters and shooting range.

"We're trying to do something nice and they come with their games and guns," said Farrell-Ranker.

You should have tried a few choruses of Kumbaya.

The marksmanship unit is one of several splashy military recruiting efforts, including big rigs that turn into science classrooms, portable rock walls, "adventure vans" with interactive exhibits on educational aspects of military life, and humvees that visit elementary through high schools. The marksmanship unit dates back to 1912.

Skip that stuff, I want the shooting range!

This particular demonstration took College Park officials by surprise. Principal Dennis Berger thought the event he had quickly approved Wednesday morning at the request of a former student was a ceremonial drill in which soldiers twirl rifles in a carefully choreographed routine.

He got 'em mixed up with the band, I guess.

"It was a last-minute event," Berger said. "This one happened to be on marksmanship, so they had video games. ... In hindsight, I wish we had known in more detail what they were going to do. We got something we didn't quite expect."

Sgt. Miller described the pistols as carnival game-style, but students said they shot a beam of light.

Shooting a beam of light is a carnival game, but I'd still like to give it a try.

More by following the link, but it's clear that the wussification of America continues apace. I remember a few years ago there was a big furor in N. Carolina when a state inspector found a small plastic soldier in the toy bin at a day care center. The horror!

Yesterday was the Chief's, now let's consider the chumps

Pizza Face eats a night stick. I wonder if he's a member of the "scary" Black Bloc? He's seems cut out for it since he's got a built-in mask. In point of fact, there were about 500 protestors in a Washington park which looked like the usual suspects conjured up by the communists at International Answer. But aside from the comrades, there was the moonbat contingent:

An anti-war group called the Rhythm Workers Union banged on steel drums and danced in mudcaked boots.

Elsewhere in the city, more than 300 anti-war protesters - organized by a social justice peace movement called CodePink - sported beauty pageant style banners with "resist!" scrawled in black.

"We're against the war mostly," said Shannon Fell, 22, of Detroit, who wore a bright pink wig and feather boa.

Some protesters carried signs advocating abortion rights. Others urged people to donate money to tsunami relief efforts. Some took issue with Bush's environmental and economic policies.

I love it when the street people get together! But to hear the media tell it, this was a vast popular protest. Sheesh, there are bigger fraternity parties.

However, I guess I shouldn't forget the local franchises in the leftoid pest holes across the country. LGF brings us a real beauty from Portland, Oregon. They really do wear tin foil beanies!

Hail to the Chief!

And the Veep:

And Momma:

Fraudoire's a model all right

Blogger Stefan Sharkansky (who is mostly over at Sound Politics these days) gets some ink in the Seattle Times - A citizens' revolution for clean elections, new media

Christine Gregoire has said that our recent election was "a model to the rest of the nation and the world." If what she meant is that the King County Elections Office is her model of how she plans to run the state of Washington, then we should all be worried.

Is it really "good enough for government work" to count 3,500 or 2,000 more ballots than there were voters? The airlines figured out years ago how to match the number of boarding passes with the number of people sitting in the airplane. Why can't our elections officials match the number of ballots cast with the number of voters who supposedly cast them?

Maybe because they made them up themselves?

I think most Washingtonians agree that it isn't good enough for government work to decide an election by a box load of funny votes. It is not the American way for a tainted victory of 129 votes, marred by thousands of illegitimate votes, including double voters, felon voters, cemetery voters and unidentified voters, to take the place of a legitimate decision of the electorate.

Yes, but is the Democrat way.

More Geeky Fun!

Microsoft's AntiSpyware Tool Removes Internet Explorer

Many Microsoft Windows users who downloaded the recently released AntiSpyware program from Microsoft, or had it installed through an automatic Windows update, woke up to a surprise. Unintentionally, the heuristics of the software detected Internet Explorer as spyware, and removed the program from their systems.

Microsoft has pulled the program from its website until the problem can be corrected. Elias Weatherbee, a Microsoft representative, said the program was "only in beta" and that "a fix was forthcoming."

"It shows how powerful our AntiSpyware program is," said Weatherbee. "Not only is it able to remove spyware from the system, but also the source of most spyware. Our competitors can't match that."

A representative from Lavasoft, which sells Ad-Aware another spyware removal program, complained that Microsoft was using its monopoly and knowledge of the operating system to "offer features that others can't match."

"Tough sh*t," said Weatherbee.

Many computer users did not view this new "feature" positively. "I tried to check the weather this morning and all my little blue 'e' icons were missing. I couldn't get to the Internet at all. I guess I'll have to get a new computer," said Windows XP user Graham Newton.

More hilarity by following the link. It's satire. I hope.

Big Hair Club votes against Condi!

The Senate Foreign Relations Committee voted 16-2 to approve Condoleezza Rice's nomination for Secretary State. Guess who voted against?

I did Babs a disservice in the previous post by using a snap from some time ago. Since then she's gotten a new shingle job (scroll down) which inspired a Freeper to enhance the old photo as shown above.

Here's a puzzler!

Sen. Barbara Boxer (D, Bizzaroworld)

Is there any bigger idiot in the US Senate that Barbara Boxer? It's a tough question with the likes of Maria Cantwell, Joe Biden, Patrick Leahy, and "Skip" Dayton stinking out the joint. But Babs seems to have made a New Year's resolution to put these bowsers in the shade - Self-demolishing Dems:

Pants on fire!

That would apply to Boxer, who seems to be going through a terminal meltdown. Something is driving her over the edge, and she's determined to take the Democratic Party with her.

A week after she tearfully sided with the wackadoo wing by becoming the only member of the Senate to vote against certifying President Bush's election victory, Boxer crossed the line again. This time, she was dry-eyed as she used the hearing on Rice's nomination to be secretary of state to accuse Rice of lying repeatedly about Saddam Hussein and the Iraq war.

"Your loyalty to the mission ... overwhelmed your respect for the truth," Boxer said during a haranguing 12-minute attack based on statements Rice and Bush have made. Boxer did not ask a single question, being too busy replaying the presidential race.

All the world's a stage and Babs thinks she's Hamlet.

Rice can take the heat. She calmly rebutted the quotations Boxer trotted out and said forcefully of Saddam, "It was high time we got rid of him, and I'm glad that we're rid of him."

She also fired back at Boxer's insults, saying, "I really hope you will refrain from impugning my integrity."

"I'm not," Boxer piped up, denying the thing she was obviously doing.

Good ole Babs, but she's more than just another lying crapsack.

My problem is that Boxer came off as someone who needs a rest. Just as Sen. Edward Kennedy did in the hearings on Alberto Gonzales to be the next attorney general. Kennedy and Boxer both lectured Bush's nominees in condescending moral terms, with Kennedy saying, "I wouldn't have" engaged in discussions of torture.

I wanted Gonzales to ask Kennedy if he had been to Chappaquiddick lately. And I wouldn't have blamed Rice had she told Boxer to stuff it.

Boxer and Kennedy are living in the past, back when it was okay for limousine liberals to tell the rest of us how to live. And maybe they're going a little nuts with frustration because white-bread Bush was reelected and he's the one nominating the first Hispanic attorney general and the first black female secretary of state.

Whatever's bugging them, Kennedy and Boxer need to get a grip. They're embarrassing themselves and defining their party as a bunch of sour-grapes, out-of-touch losers. All the talk about Dems moving back to the political center and working with Bush is being demolished every time these two open their potty mouths.

Of course, there is another, even more scary possibility: Maybe Kennedy and Boxer actually speak for the majority of their party.

The light dawns.

Geeky Fun!

For all the bloggers bedeviled by comment spam - Comment Spam Defense Now A Full-Fledged Web Standard :

According to Jeremy Zawodny on the Yahoo blog, the new "nofollow" tag is not just a Google solution; the comment spam defense is being implemented by every major player in the search / blogging universe. Implementing the new standard are: saerch engines Google, Yahoo, MSN, as well as blog software Blogger (from Google), TypePad, MovableType, LiveJournal (from Six Apart), MSN Spaces and WordPress.

More by following both links. Of course, it's less direct than hanging the spammers from tall trees by sensitive portions of their anatomy.

Meanwhile, in a printed PC Connection catalog that I received, there's an ad for a huge, honking new "laptop":

No Compromise Desktop Replacement

New! HP Compaq NX9500 Series Notebooks

Want the freedom and flexibility of mobile computing without sacrificing the power of your desktop? The nx9500 offers all the power you can handle: Pentium 4 processors up to 3.4 GHz, 800 MHz front side bus speed, and battery life measured in seconds.

It's truth in advertising, I guess.

We now return to the regularly scheduled japery.

Doctor Von Drehle, I presume?

I had my fun with the Washington Post's David Von Drehle in the previous post. Iowahawk has his as he ventures into the Heart of Redness:

Fleming was visibly nervous, unable to eat his Portobello-duck gnocci. The truth is I had heard the stories too, and didn't really know the answer. I thought it best to reassure Fleming, a green staffer fresh from Columbia Journalism School. He might ultimately prove to be a liability on this mission, but if I was going to be in the middle of Kansas I needed a companion familiar with Maureen Dowd just to stave off the madness.
...
"You Dionne?" said the hulking man in the Carhhardt jacket. "I'm Epstein, from the Sociology Department."

Epstein was the legendary University of Iowa sociologist who knew the west Red Country better than any man in civilization. He knew their language, their mores, their favorite NASCAR drivers. It was rumored that he had even lived among them for a time, but my editors at the Post warned me not to speak to him of it.

We poured over maps and discussed logistics until 7:45, when Epstein called for us to adjourn.

"There's a faculty panel symposium on Cuban health care over at Schaffer Auditorium," he said. "I suggest we attend, because there won't be any more where we're headed."

Much more but not nearly enough by following the link.

Limousine liberals take a road trip

One of the burdens of election time is that the liberal elite feel they have to go out and mix it up with the icky little people. So weary-making for them, I'm sure! But at least it's a rich source of comedy (hat tip: Allah):

And some of the prime laughs are when the city slickers head out to the country:

Unfortunately, after the last election, the limousine liberals felt compelled to hit the road again to try to figure out who was driving the steamroller that ran them over. First, it was Senator Russ Feingold creator of the George Soros Money Laundering Act Campaign Finance Reform Act. He headed off to Alabama, nominally to play golf, but he couldn't keep his yap shut about the citizens.

Then the Washington Post sent out staff writer David Von Drehle to drive from Nebraska to Texas and report back on all the benighted folks he encountered. Tim Blair has a scintillating Fisking of this condescending foolishness, but I liked one part of Von Drehle's screed:

We met dozens of people along the way. We asked them about themselves, about their communities, about their votes. Some were leery of us. Several asked politely: "What are you trying to accomplish?" Others were more blunt: "What's your angle?" Another version: "What are you hoping to find?"

We met Bruce Owen outside Abilene, Kan. He invited us into his home, introduced us to his wife, Donna -- and then seemed to wish he hadn't. He told us he rarely saw people like himself portrayed in "the media," except as objects of derision.

He had a point there.
...
A minute ago there were 12 regulars seated in the puddle of light beyond the pool table. Seven men clustered quietly together while five wives chatted amiably at the table beside them. Turns out a good way to get folks moving in Waco, Neb., is to introduce yourself as a reporter from Washington, D.C.

Indeed!

They hear the gravy train heading towards the station!

Click the snap to visit MoveOnPlease

Hillary's in

You don't have to take it from us about Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton 's desire to run for president. Her brothers, Hugh and Tony Rodham, say it's true. Friends tell us that the two are cheering Sis on and say she's making all the moves to get ready for the race--presuming she is re-elected by New Yorkers in 2006.

Did you know the boys went with Hill and Bill on their honeymoon? Hopefully they had separate rooms!

Speaking of which, check out what Her Heinous has been up to lately - Hillary: Just say condom!

Hillary is steamed. There's not enough condom talk in the White House to suit her. Or maybe she just wants her own catchphrase a-la-Nancy Reagan. Whatever the case she's speaking out and is forming a startling new advocacy ... for condoms.
...
Yep, in Clinton Country, "Condoms are King."

Ole Bubba could have avoided a heap of trouble if he had just followed the little lady's advice!

Hence Hillary Clinton's recent comments to the gay advocacy magazine The Advocate:

Although the Bush administration officially supports the "ABC" HIV prevention model - abstinence, be faithful, use condoms - Clinton says far too much emphasis is placed on abstinence rather than on condom use. "ABC is a good strategy, but it has three parts to it, and we need to remind the administration of that," Clinton said at an awards dinner for the International Women's Health Coalition in New York City. "There are so many strategies that we know work, and we are not yet fully committed in our government to implementing those strategies."

Sounds like some "behavior modification" is required. How about a photo-op?

More than one set of parents in every school district in America was startled by the words, "Mom, Dad, you'll never guess what we did with a banana in class today ..."

Er, maybe not. She better just hang out with Shaft, Stretch, and Dick.