He's shocked! Shocked, I tell ya!

Annan "shocked" at report on UN's Iraq oil programme:

UN Secretary General Kofi Annan was "shocked" by an independent enquiry that found unethical behaviour by the official who ran the oil-for-food programme in Iraq, his chief of staff said.

The enquiry said the official, Benon Sevan, solicited allocations of Iraqi oil from the Baghdad regime of Saddam Hussein and had got questionable cash payments but stopped short of saying he had taken bribes.

Maybe we're supposed to think of them as gratuities?

Mark Malloch Brown, Annan's chief of staff, said disciplinary proceedings had been started against Sevan, although it was unclear what measures could be taken because Sevan has already resigned from the United Nations.

How about stopping his pension, since he has his own retirement "nest egg"? On the other hand, handing him over to the Iraqis would be even better

"The secretary general is shocked by what the report has to say about Mr Sevan, terribly dismayed that a colleague of so many years' standing is accused of breaching the UN code of conduct and staff rules in the way he did," Malloch Brown told reporters.

"He very much doubts there can be any extenuating circumstances to explain the behaviour which appears proven in the report," Malloch Brown said.

He reiterated that Annan would waive diplomatic immunity if any criminal charges are launched against UN officials connected to the scandal-tainted oil-for-food programme.

Yadda, yadda. I'll believe it when I see them doing the perp walk.

In a statement, Sevan's lawyers issued a stinging rebuke of the Volcker panel's report.

"They have not found -- because they cannot -- that Mr Sevan ever accepted anything from anyone," they said. "There is no smoking gun. Mr Sevan never took a penny."

The Washington law firm, Baach Robinson and Lewis, said the Volcker enquiry -- which was commissioned by Annan -- had "succumbed to massive political pressure and now seeks to scapegoat" Sevan.

And made fun of Benny's walking around money too:

The investigation report said Mr. Sevan solicited oil allocations from Saddam Hussein's regime on behalf of a trading company from 1998 to 2001, and it raised concerns that he might have received kickbacks for the help.

The report does not say how the former administrator profited, but it does say that he failed to account satisfactorily for $160,000 deposited into his bank account.

His "known" bank account. Maybe he found it on the street?

But wait, there is some good news:

The report praised U.N. management of the account that paid for the oil-for-food program. The Volcker team also noted that few organizations would have submitted to such an intense scrutiny.

U.N. officials yesterday seized on these as proof of the international organization's continued trustworthiness.

That sure convinces me!

Actually, this is just an interim report with the final report due during this summer:

Mark Malloch Brown, the secretary-general's new chief of staff, said Monday Volcker will probably "land some very heavy blows."

Asked about his comment, Annan quipped with a laugh, "Do I look worried?"

Sheesh, Kofi does Alfred E. Neuman.