Sunday, November 21, 2004

Today's Biscuits and Gravy

Bernie Slattery doesn't hold back in Despicable Cretin (Australian variety):

Greens Senator Kerry Nettle has shown she is worthless scum who takes the side of fascist murdering barbarians over the leader of this country. Using the soon to be removed leftist majority in the Senate, ugly stick victim Nettle moved a motion of condolence for the father of modern terrorism, blood-thirsty thief, Yasser Arafat. Bad enough, but appeaser Nettle stooped to a new low by paying out on John Howard's criticism that Arafat failed to grasp peace when he had the opportunity. A fact that no one disputes, except perhaps brain-dead piles of putrescence like Nettle.
Pretty scary, eh kids?
For Democrats, this new phenomenon on Election Day felt like some kind of horror movie, with conservative voters rising up out of the hills and condo communities in numbers the Kerry forces never knew existed.
Bill Could Criminalize Fast-Forwarding DVD Ads, Trailers. I guess they'll really be pissed if you hit it with a couple loads of double ought buckshot.

Tragic Wrinkle: (today's Ewwwww! Award)

Dr. Daniel Serrano made heaps of cash pandering to the vanity of Beverly Hills ladies like Larry King's wife Shawn, Lionel Richie's wife Diane, TV chef Carrie Wiatt, and stylist to the stars Vivian Turner.

His alleged tool of choice was Artecoll, a permanent wrinkle filler that's all the rage from Paris to Beijing.
Kind of like facial spackle I guess. Or maybe caulk.

But "Dr. Dan" is no man of medicine — at least not on this side of the equator, authorities say.

What was worse, Artecoll is illegal in the United States.

Now the alleged fake doc is in an L.A. federal jail on charges of importing and distributing an unapproved medical device.
So Turner, assuming the doctor was on the up-and-up, brought Serrano to Larry King's house, where he worked on the CNN star's wife Shawn.

After being injected by Serrano on six separate occasions — in her lips, cheeks, temples, ears and other areas — Shawn King developed an "aesthetically displeasing bump" on her lower lip, she told investigators.

Now she has trouble speaking and drinking from cups and glasses. King says she's seen two doctors in hopes of fixing her disfigurement.

Such problems arise when Artecoll is improperly injected, experts say.

"It's made of little plastic beads that belong in Beanie Babies, not people," said Dr. Ava Shamban, an assistant clinical professor of dermatology at UCLA and resident skin expert on ABC's "Extreme Makeover."

"The body looks at it as a foreign substance and sometimes tries to spit it out. That can lead to the formation of hard lumps — called granulomas — which can grow to the size of a golf ball," Shamban told The Post.
Should have used real spackle.

Or maybe you can get a haircut that will cover it up:
The entire process lasted about 80 minutes. And each minute cost about $10: Mr. Pita charges $800 for a haircut.
"And anyone who pays that much money to go to the meatpacking district to have their hair done is a meathead," he added. (Mr. Battelle charges $155, and does not accept tips.)
A burning issue:
It's a burning issue for some hot-pepper lovers: Whatever possessed Kevin M. Crosby to create the mild habanero?

For Dr. Crosby, a plant geneticist at the Texas A&M Agricultural Experiment Station here near the Mexican border, the answer is simple: "I'm not going to take away the regular habanero. You can still grow and eat that, if you want to kill yourself."