WOKV in Jacksonville, FL has a improved version of the old joke - "NEW" Cows & Politics. Some of my favorites:
DEMOCRAT:And saving the best for last:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
You have two cows. The government takes them, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You then see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.
NEW YORK POLITICS:
You have fifteen million cows. You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas.
