Thursday, July 13, 2006

"Taking Bribes for Dummies" by Crooked John Murtha

Crooked John Murtha will show you how to take bribes from a sheikh


If Crooked John Murtha's political ambitions don't work out and Code Pink doesn't pick up his option, he's always got a back up in writing how-to books. Catch his snappy style in the full Abscam tape that you won't hear about in the MSM these days even though it was originally revealed in the Washington Post. (Via the Curmudgeon.)

Monday, July 10, 2006

I hope Ned Lamont didn't pay too much for his Kos commercial

I finally got around to seeing Kos' commercial for the campaign of goofy Ned Lamont and I have to admit that it's a comedy classic. First, they've got ole Ned all painted up with a ton of makeup including a fake suntan so strong that he looks like an Oompa Loompa. Then they park him on a floral print sofa where he looks like a deer in the headlights while Kos does a peeping tom routine outside the window.

Peeping tom outside Ned Lamont's window


Then to finish it off, Kos storms in with a crew of wingnuts who start capering around Ned like the denizens of the monkey house at the zoo. That part is particularly unfortunate given Kos' physical attributes and general demeanor.
Kos: separated at birth?


We know that Kos will do anything for money, but I'm beginning to suspect that he's really planning to give up politics and start doing comedy using Lamont campaign bucks as seed money.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

More fun with Hillary's brothers

They're the gift that keeps on giving:
A bankruptcy trustee for a carnival company whose owners received a pardon from President Clinton is seeking to garnish the bank accounts of Mr. Clinton's brother-in-law to recoup more than $100,000 in loans.

Anthony D. Rodham, one of Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton's two brothers, got the loans from United Shows of America Inc. after its owners obtained the presidential pardon in March 2000 over the objections of the Justice Department.

Michael E. Collins, trustee for United Shows, filed papers in Alexandria bankruptcy court seeking the return of $107,000 plus $46,034 in interest from Mr. Rodham, 51, for the loans he received from the carnival company, which went bankrupt in 2002.

Mr. Rodham "received the benefit of the loans without making any repayment," reads a related document filed last year in bankruptcy court in Nashville, Tenn.

United Shows' owners, Edgar Gregory Jr. and his wife, Vonna Jo Gregory, were convicted of bank fraud in 1982 on charges of illegally giving loans to friends.
Maybe Tony Rodham wasn't a "friend?"
At the time Mr. Clinton pardoned the Gregorys, Mr. Rodham reportedly said he worked for Tennessee-based United Shows as a consultant and denied taking money to lobby for presidential favors.
Sure, we believe ya! I wish the trustee luck, but I suspect that there won't be too much loot to be had in Tony's bank account unless Hillary becomes President. Being a sideshow geek probably isn't too lucrative.

Today's Hoot!

Mark Steyn's Sunday Smackdown:
The problem for the ''activists'' is that the entire anti-war movement is undernourished. Indeed, in all their contempt for America as an effete narcissistic ninny too soft and self-absorbed to stand any pain, even al-Qaida couldn't have come up with as withering a parody of the Great Satan's decadence as a celebrity pseudo-fast. As the great Shakespearean actor Edmund Kean said on his deathbed: ''Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.'' Not for Sean Penn and Susan Sarandon.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Give peace a chance or we'll assault your girl friend and hurt you and your kid

For really unhinged behavior no one beats the leftoids. You may be one of Saddam's "human shields" but that doesn't keep you from a little battery on a guy whose girl friend you assaulted. Then if you're feeling really frisky. you can send death threats to writers for The New Republic for noticing that every wingnut's pal, Markos Moulitsas, is a cheap whore. Of course, if you really want to prove your mettle, you can threaten a conservative blogger's toddler. Hmm, maybe there's an exemption from civilized behavior for psychology professors at the University of Arizona that no one told me about! Right now, Jeff Goldstein's blog is being subjected to a Denial of Service attack by supporters of the professor who apparently think threats of sexual abuse and worse to a two year old are somehow OK. Can you say "pondscum," kids? I knew you could.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Second hoot!

(Via Brothers Judd) Democrat Senator Joe Biden comes off the bench to provide a clutch homerun:
In thanking a young Indian-American man for the support of his Indian-American group, Sen. Biden touts how Indians are the fastest growing immigrant group in Delaware and says, "You CANNOT go into a 7-11 or a Dunkin Donuts without an Indian accent."
There's video. His hair's cool too.

Today's hoot!

Strategy Page:
For example, food and fuel supplies sent to North Korea have been halted, not to force North Korea to stop missile tests or participate in peace talks, but to return the Chinese trains the aid was carried in on. In the last few weeks, the North Koreans have just kept the trains, sending the Chinese crews back across the border. North Korea just ignores Chinese demands that the trains be returned, and insists that the trains are part of the aid program. It's no secret that North Korean railroad stock is falling apart, after decades of poor maintenance and not much new equipment. Stealing Chinese trains is a typical loony-tune North Korean solution to the problem. If the North Koreans appear to make no sense, that's because they don't. Put simply, when their unworkable economic policies don't work, the North Koreans just conjure up new, and equally unworkable, plans. The Chinese have tried to talk the North Koreans out of these pointless fantasies, and for their trouble they have their trains stolen.
The NorKs may want the trains because theirs are falling apart, but I have another theory:

Kim Il Jung plays trains

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Because executives can't write

You're fired, and now give back that iPod:
National Semiconductor was so happy with the results in its 2005 fiscal year that the company decided to hand out 8,500 video iPods to its employees.

But when the company laid off 35 employees last week, they were told to return the music players.

They weren't gifts, it turns out.
OK, I'll bite - what exactly were they?
While designed for personal entertainment, the popular Apple MP3 player will be used as a new training and communications tool at National, providing a convenient real-time method for employees to download National podcasts and other employee communications," the press release stated.
I'm a little puzzled how downloading a podcast counts as "real-time," but the fascinating part is the way the execs thought it would be easier to blather on than to just send an email. I'd sure be exciting about bopping down the street with my white earphones listening to some company snooze. Of course, another question raises its ugly head:
Few people at the time took the corporate lingo very seriously, and some actually sold their iPod or gave (it) away. But it turns out that National Semi wasn't kidding. They really invested $300 in devices that allow their employees to listen to company podcasts. After all, you can't do that on the computer that's already sitting on you desk.
Snerk! No word on what they're planning to do with the used iPods. Maybe new employees can use them if they give directions for disinfecting the earphones.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Thanks for the fireworks, dipstick

Kim Jung Il


CNN:
North Korea test-launched a Taepodong-2 missile early Wednesday along with several short-range rockets, but the long-range missile apparently failed, U.S. officials said.
They'll get it right eventually, though, so I guess the thanks should really go to Jimmy Carter who never met a dictator he didn't like. Even short, squirrely ones.

The ecoweenies missed one

Liftoff: Discovery soars on July 4th:
Fla. - NASA gave the shuttle Discovery a majestic Fourth of July send-off and said early signs showed the spacecraft to be in good shape, despite once again being struck by the flying foam that has plagued the program.
...
Shuttle managers said early video images of liftoff showing small pieces of foam breaking away — and one even striking the spacecraft — were not troubling.
...
Discovery thundered away from its seaside pad at 2:38 p.m EDT.

About three minutes later, as many as five pieces of debris were seen flying off the tank, and another piece of foam popped off a bit later, Mission Control told the crew. The latter piece seemed to strike the belly of Discovery, but NASA assured the seven astronauts it was no concern because of the timing.

Shuttle program manager Wayne Hale said Discovery was so high when the pieces came off that there wasn't enough air to accelerate the foam into the shuttle and cause damage.
...
It was unclear for a while Monday whether Discovery would fly at all.

A slice of foam, not much bigger than a crust of bread, fell off an expansion joint on the external fuel tank as the spacecraft sat on the launch pad. Shuttle managers concluded Monday night after intensive engineering analysis that the remaining foam on that part of the tank was solid.

Engineers said the piece — 3 inches long and just one-tenth of an ounce — was too small to pose a threat even if it had come off during launch and smacked the shuttle. Inspectors devised a long pole with a camera to inspect the joint and found no evidence of further damage. NASA also made sure there was no excessive ice buildup at that spot Tuesday.
...
NASA's chief engineer and top-ranking safety official objected two weeks ago to the 12-day mission without eliminating lingering dangers from foam loss, considered probable and potentially catastrophic.
...
In its flight last July, Discovery experienced dangerous foam loss, though the chunk was smaller than one that slammed into Columbia's left wing, and it missed Discovery altogether.

Just like a year ago, more than 100 cameras and radar were trained on Discovery at liftoff to spot any foam shedding. The intensive picture-taking continued with on-board cameras and the astronauts snapping zoom-in shots upon reaching orbit.

NASA figures it will be nearly a week before it can decisively say whether any debris hit Discovery during launch.

Last July, cameras caught a 1-pound chunk two minutes after liftoff, despite extensive repairs that came after the Columbia disaster killed seven astronauts in 2003. The big piece of foam came off an area untouched in the wake of the tragedy. Smaller pieces popped off other parts of the 154-foot tank.

Over the past year, NASA has removed foam from the location of last year's largest foam loss, saying it represented the biggest aerodynamic change to the shuttle in 25 years of flight. Engineers deemed the foam there unnecessary.
Conveniently unmentioned is the fact that the foam didn't use to be a problem until the ecoweenies made NASA switch to an "environmentally friendly" substitute for the stuff that worked. No word on "astronaut friendly."