Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Because executives can't write

You're fired, and now give back that iPod:
National Semiconductor was so happy with the results in its 2005 fiscal year that the company decided to hand out 8,500 video iPods to its employees.

But when the company laid off 35 employees last week, they were told to return the music players.

They weren't gifts, it turns out.
OK, I'll bite - what exactly were they?
While designed for personal entertainment, the popular Apple MP3 player will be used as a new training and communications tool at National, providing a convenient real-time method for employees to download National podcasts and other employee communications," the press release stated.
I'm a little puzzled how downloading a podcast counts as "real-time," but the fascinating part is the way the execs thought it would be easier to blather on than to just send an email. I'd sure be exciting about bopping down the street with my white earphones listening to some company snooze. Of course, another question raises its ugly head:
Few people at the time took the corporate lingo very seriously, and some actually sold their iPod or gave (it) away. But it turns out that National Semi wasn't kidding. They really invested $300 in devices that allow their employees to listen to company podcasts. After all, you can't do that on the computer that's already sitting on you desk.
Snerk! No word on what they're planning to do with the used iPods. Maybe new employees can use them if they give directions for disinfecting the earphones.