Fall of Civilization Alert!
(Via Andrew Stuttaford at The Corner) The Guardian amazes with 'Cleansed' Greenland cabinet falls:

The Greenland government collapsed yesterday because of a row about a phenomenon associated more commonly with the medieval period rather than the 21st century: witchcraft.

Points for novelty!

The Arctic territory's home rule government, in office for only 37 days, fell apart because of its senior civil servant's penchant for what some politicians called "witch-doctoring and other mumbo jumbo" and others "plain exorcism".

The affair centres on the activities of Jens Lyberth, who called upon the services of a healer to drive evil spirits from the government's offices in Nuuk, Greenland's capital.

Hmmm, most politicians promise to do that if elected.

"When you move into new premises, it's normal to air the room and give the walls some fresh paint," he said, explaining why he had hired Maannguaq Berthelsen to "drive negative energy" from the building.

Mr Lyberth urged the 600 civil servants under his control to use similar methods to improve the strained relations between Greenlanders and Danes, who make up about a fifth of the island's population.

Kinda sounds like Patty Murray!

The "healer" at the centre of the row made matters worse by giving an interview to Greenland Radio in which she described how she had purified the offices by "harnessing her powers" for 90 minutes while standing outside the office block late last month.

Sounds good to me! I wonder what her hourly rate is and whether it's OK to harness your powers in the local pub?

Despite what you might think, the capital of Greenland is Nuuk - not Nyuk!

So little time, so much to blog!

Knickerless girl freed without charge

Pa. Amish Complain About Zoning Laws

Tree sitter forcibly removed

Attallah Calls On Christians to Carry Out "Martyr Operations" (You first, dude.)

Hillary and Ex-Klansman Team Up to Create 'Planned Pandemonium'

Math mistake costs Montgomery County millions (No, not Maryland)

And the results are in!
Tim Blair's attempt to assist the delusional British poet laureate, Andrew Motion Lotion, has produced quite a crop. My favorite is from Joseph Latino:

They drink good wine, but never try
To understand that brave men die
So they can carp, and whine, and cry
That freedom's leader isn't a fucking idiotic socialist appeaser of fascism.

But I was never much for scansion.

Mark Steyn also weighs in with a in-depth expose, Going through the motions:

Now, in this exclusive excerpt from his forthcoming memoir, Going Through the Motions, Andrew Motion reveals the inspiration and passion behind this classic of English poetry:

So I was pottering about the house when the phone rang: "Professor Motion?" said a female voice. "It's the Guardian here. We were wondering if you might like to give us a poem about the war. Ideally, we're talking something shorter than Tom Paulin but longer than Gillian Wearing . . ."

"Please listen carefully to the following menu options," I said, and patched her through to customer service: "If you're a royal duchess in need of an ode to your hernia operation, press one. For sonnets, press two. Haikus, press three . . ."

She came back five minutes later. "We'd like to go for the Premium Quatrain package, including complimentary Latin-style title for £60 plus VAT," she said. "As you know, a lot of distinguished wordsmiths have spoken out against the war - Harold Pinter, George Michael, Barbra Streisand - but we feel you'd bring a unique perspective to the situation."

"All we need to do is start a dialogue" alert!
Gweilo Diaries administers a well deserved spanking to inveterate whiner, Joshua Marshall, on North Korea:

Marshall is of the opinion:

"What got us into this situation was our refusal -- a refusal based apparently on principle -- to talk with the North Koreans or to assuage their security concerns."

Funny, I thought the North's pursuit of a nuclear weapons program in violation of international agreements had something to do with it.

Marshall further asserts that the Clinton administration was aware of North Korea's violations and informed the Bush team during the transition. Incomprehensibly, Marshall seems to think this reflects well on Clinton and poorly on Bush.

If true, if Clinton knew of Kim's pursuit of nuclear weapons, did nothing about it, continued supplying oil, and left this odiferous, rotting fish behind for Bush to clean up, then it constitutes self-serving irresponsibility of nearly criminal proportions.

I look forward to the Congressional investigations asking the Clintonistas "what did you know and when did you know it." If the reply is that they were aware and ignored it, the Democrats will have lost whatever remaining shred of credibility they have regarding defense issues.

C'mon everyone, sing Kumbaya along with Joshua and Bubba!

Can you say "Freudian slip"? ... I knew you could!
Ellen Ratner apologized for expressing the desire that the war with Iraq be "messed up" so that President Bush would not be re-elected.

Meanwhile, from another venue in Munchkinland, everyone's favorite soccer mom, Senator Patty Murray, still defends her lust for the great humanitarian, Osama bin Laden. A video tape of Patty's remarks showed up on Fox News and the schoolgirl crush was amazing to behold. James Taranto has the latest over at Best of the Web in Patty to Press: Go Construe Yourself!

Why won't Murray just admit she was wrong? Her explanations are about as believable as Trent Lott's claim that he admired Strom Thurmond's 1948 views on national defense.

I still think she should stick to the idiot defense.

Rocket Science Alert!
The Straits Times reveals that Internet use in class 'fails to improve grades':

LONDON - Equipping schools with a million computers and connecting them all to the Internet has had little, if any, impact on standards, according to a study commissioned by Britain's Education Department.

Despite what the report called 'unprecedented levels of government investment' - including more than £1 billion (S$2.8 billion) over the past five years - it could find 'no consistent relationship' between computer use and pupil achievement in any subject at any age, the Telegraph reported.

The amazing thing is that someone actually thought it would further the pupils' education.

Hold my beer alert!
The BBC stuns with Monks insist on high-alcohol beer:

A French Government drive against alcoholism has incurred the wrath of Belgium's famous Trappist monks.

Famous for vows of silence, the Trappist monks are also well known for brewing strong beers, including Chimay and Westmalle.

But the French Government now wants to slap high taxes on any of those beers that contain more than 8.5% alcohol.

Now that's what I call a beer!

The Trappist brewers argue that this is against the spirit of the European free trade area, the single market.

Actually, as might be expected, they have a spokesman.

The new fiscal measures were announced unexpectedly at the end of last year in order to deter alcoholism.

But French wine - which has a stronger alcoholic content than Trappist beer and is already taxed less than beer - is not being penalised in the same way.

I'm shocked!

Your Personal Presidential Monument with an Attitude!
Endorsed by Republicans, Democrats, and Independents to massage your political kinks!

Talks too - follow the link.

New Terrorist Catch and Release Program!
(Via Trojan Horseshoes) One Hand Clapping has the photo!

I always like a fishing story.

Ruh Oh!
Ashok Sharma for the AP reports that Giant Statue of Hindu God Falls in India:

NEW DELHI, India - A giant statue of the Hindu god Krishna that took six years to build toppled onto its back this week, killing three people, Indian villagers who had raised the money for the construction said Friday.

"This was a bad omen," said Shivram Sharma, the priest at a small temple near where the 108-foot statue collapsed Monday in the village of Narsinghpur, on the outskirts of the Indian capital.

No excrement, Sherlock! Photo here.