Hoot of the Day!
The Misanthropyst has the cure for Islamofascism. (Via Whacking Day)

Wackiness from all over (some via Fark)
The Sunday Times (free registration required) is on a roll with Russians used EU aid to make vodka and US universities compete for sexiest scholars in academe:

"Ten years ago black and Asian scholars were at a premium as colleges tried to catch up with changing times. Now it’s brilliant young women teaching sexy subjects."

Even worse, Tim Blair reports that England is now under Taliban rule, and in a similar vein, I was shocked to read 'Porn' party girl sacked.

That might want to make you leave the Olde Countrie, but I'd skip Peru after reading the Sun story, Bug was living in my back. Ewwww! But there's apparently still fun to be had in Canada, according to Girls at elite school go on rampage. In the Antipodes they are having their own brand of fun in New Zealand:

A wild and woolly adventure for two Dunedin police constables ended with one of them handcuffing a sheep after it assaulted his colleague yesterday. If the officers weren't feeling sheepish enough, the incident went from bad to worse when they discovered the key to the handcuffs was missing.

Meanwhile in Australia, two German tourists sadly didn't quit while they were ahead.

And of course, the good ole USA has its own animal stories. Since it is deer season, how about Wounded deer gives hunter the fight of his life? Indeed, things are different in the Upper Peninsula.

Of course, some of the animals are two-legged. From South Africa, the Independent Online reports that:

The police in Sedgefield are closely monitoring a man with the rather odd habit of throwing rotten fish at people.

No, it wasn't Al Gore on his book tour. Speaking of geniuses, one in South Carolina was indicted

... for allegedly trying to extort $3 million by falsely claiming to be the kidnapper of Elizabeth Smart.

Walter Kenneth Holloway, of Charleston, S.C., allegedly sent more than three dozen e-mails claiming he was the kidnapper and demanding ransom.

Smart, then 14, disappeared from her bedroom June 5. The case remains unsolved.
...
The FBI found Holloway, who was using the screen name "Elizabethsmartkidnapper," by serving his Internet service provider with a subpoena for account information.

Finally for you bike riding gentlemen - A study of bike-riding cops found high rates of erectile dysfunction and groin numbness. Uh Oh!

Open cookie jar, insert hand
Bill O'Reilly has a nice summary of the hijinks of Bill Moyers:

The Corporation for Public Broadcasting, which funds PBS and NPR, has an annual budget of about $2.2 billion. More than $300 million of that comes from the American taxpayer, according to the CPB Web site (www.cpb.org).

Moyers' production company, Public Affairs Television, gets paid by PBS, but it is unclear how much since PBS will not say. In return for the compensation, he does a weekly commentary program and some documentaries.

But here's the rub, according to an article by Stephen Hayes in "The Weekly Standard," Moyers owns the documentaries, and after they are broadcast on PBS, he sells the videocassettes, keeping the proceeds. So, in effect, you and I are partially funding Bill's TV projects, which he is personally profiting from. Do you have a problem with that? I do.

And there's more. Mr. Moyers receives $200,000 a year as the president of the Florence and John Schumann Foundation, which has assets of close to $100 million! Moyers gives $2 million of that to his son John to run a left-wing Website called Tom Paine.com. OK, fine, he's a good dad.

But Moyers also gives grant money to PBS and National Public Radio. PBS in turn pays his production company. Uh-oh. Can you say conflict of interest? According to public records, the Florence and John Schumann foundation donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to PBS and NPR in the '90s.
...
Maybe I am being a bit unfair to Bill Moyers, but I have tried to get his side of the story. However, he will never come to the phone when I call. I am beginning to take it personally, and perhaps I should. In a speech shortly after September 11, Moyers called me a warmonger, or some such, for advocating strong military action against Afghanistan. And I will cop to that. While Moyers might have given them grant money, I wanted to pound those that protected the Taliban into the pavement, that is if there is any pavement over there.

But my problem with Moyers is not ideological. I applaud him for speaking out on the issues of the day. I just don't want to subsidize him. Call me crazy, but I believe that Bill Moyers should not be profiting from taxpayer money.

More details from several articles in the Weekly Standard:

PBS's Televangelist: Bill Moyers preaches on . . . and on.

Bill Moyers Responds: With a rejoinder from Stephen F. Hayes.

Moyers Gets the Hook: It seems that Bill Moyers has even managed to spook some PBS executives with his radical show. (Oh, and he throws an elbow at The Factor, too.)

TAPs for a Magazine: In an effort to squeeze every last bit of fun out of liberalism, the Schumann Foundation starts to disassemble the American Prospect.

Perhaps the Schumann Foundation wants to cut costs so that it can continue to shower largesse on TomPaine.com (Executive Director, John Moyers, Bill's son). The sole function of that collection of summer soldiers seems to be buying ads in the New York Times that read: "Uncle oSAMa Says: I Want YOU To Invade Iraq." These ads threaten Americans--in the name of al Qaeda--with dire consequences, should the United States invade.

Preaching to the Choir: It wouldn't be a Republican victory without a dyspeptic attack from Bill Moyers. Paid for, in part, by you.

If you have a really strong stomach head on over to TomPaine.com and watch them bite heads off chickens. Don't tell 'em I sent you.

Goron Alert!
Michael Kelly does the honors in The Unbearable Lightness of Gore

What is much more interesting lies in the "serious" realm. Here a new Gore really is emerging, or re-emerging. This is not the Vice President Gore of the centrist-positioning Clinton White House, not the reinventor of government. This is the Gore of "Earth in the Balance": Gore the thinker of big thoughts, Gore the visionary, Gore the radical, Gore the bold man of the left.

Zzzzzzz

So this, apparently, is where Gore thinks he's going: Full speed ahead into the waters of cultural wars that no one else (including George W. Bush) is interested in fighting, in support of a left-radical redefinition of family values at considerable variance with available evidence and general opinion.

You go, Al.

And take Tipper with you.

Woof Woof!
The San Francisco Examiner barks up the wrong tree with Fido -- my friend, my brother:

San Francisco supervisors are set to strike references to "dumb" animals and to replace references to pet "owner" with "owner/guardian" in the Health Code.

The rhetorical change, said Rob Eshelman of Supervisor Matt Gonzalez's office, is "aimed at improving relationship between pet owners/guardians and their pets."

About a dozen speakers praised the proposal at the Board of Supervisors' Health and Human Services Committee meeting on Thursday.

The City's Animal Control and Welfare Commission proposed the change three years ago, to great outcry from breeders and pet owners who thought it would lead to alimony and health benefits for animals, Eshelman said.

Since then, the cities of Boulder, Colo., West Hollywood and Berkeley, among others, and the state of Rhode Island have made the linguistic leap without rolling down a slippery slope, Eshelman said.

"Changing the language is about recognizing the relationship," said Sherri Franklin, of the animal commission. She compared the leap to changes in the status of slaves and women.

Add another to the list of issues that roil this Great Republic.

South of the border, down Mexico way
Hmm, where to start. How about Report Says Migrants Repatriated $23 Billion to Latin America, Caribbean in 2001.

Immigrants who helped send $23 billion home to Latin America and the Caribbean last year say the transactions are too costly and put undocumented workers in danger of arrest.

Gee, too bad. And the headline writers need to look up repatriate. The money isn't being repatriated, but we wish the illegal migrants were.

Only 9 percent of 302 U.S. immigrants interviewed for the study use banks to send money home, according to the study by the Pew Hispanic Center and the Inter-American Development Bank. Seventy-eight percent still use wire transfer companies, and the remaining 8 percent send money home by courier or family member, according to the study released Friday by the Pew Hispanic Center and the Inter-American Development Bank.

Ah - illegal money flows! The coppers are on to them and arrests are imminent?

The center and the Multilateral Investment Fund of the development bank conducted the research to gauge how immigrants are responding to the changing money-transfer industry and to spur financial institutions to enter the market.

Nope, it's market research for banks on the burgeoning illegal alien market. What a business opportunity!

Speaking of which, Newsmax reports that Border Patrol Advertises for Illegal Aliens:

Get this: The U.S. Border Patrol is using your tax money to advertise its "rescue beacons" to abet illegal aliens.

The one-minute commercial is expected to be broadcast next year on TV stations in Mexico and in the border city of Yuma, Ariz.

"Officials want to reach viewers in the interior parts of Mexico, where potential border crossers may know little about the treacherous terrain and nothing about the beacons," the Associated Press reported.

"A strobe light directs the illegal immigrants [sic; an 'immigrant,' of course, is someone who has entered the nation legally] to the beacons at night. During the day, a reflective mirror guides the crossers."

The feds have already bought eight of the beacons with your money and plan to add plenty more - six just in the area south of Yuma - to help criminals invade the country.

Hey, more bank customers!

But they need to drive, so DMV Worker Charged With Taking Bribes:

RALEIGH, N.C. -- A license examiner with the North Carolina Division of Motor Vehicles has been charged with receiving thousands of dollars in bribes to issue fake driver's licenses.

Marvin Alphonso Brinkley, 34, of Littleton, was charged with two felony counts of fraudulent acceptance of money for licenses, the DMV reported.

So far, 63 warrants have been drawn up in connection with the case, said Wayne Hurder, director of the driver's license section of the DMV.

The bribes averaged between $350 and $500, court records show.
...
Brinkley has been accused of conspiring with Carlos Mauricio-Garcia Berganza, 24, "to omit to perform an official act in the written and road test," according to the arrest warrants.

Berganza was jailed Wednesday and charged with one count of felony conspiracy and 20 counts of offering bribes, court records.

Vroom!

But don't worry, there's a change of heart in the Mexican government:

Something very unusual happened this week in Mexico, a country long known for its fiery nationalistic demagoguery:

Foreign Minister Jorge G. Castaneda said it's time for his nation to stop being anti-American.

Thanks, Jorge. What's the catch?

Speaking in Mexico City at a book presentation before Wednesday's celebration of the 92nd anniversary of the 1910-17 Mexican Revolution, Castaneda - a former leftist intellectual who has become one of President Vicente Fox's most trusted Cabinet members - said Mexico's current clash between pro-American sentiment and anti-American rhetoric is creating a bad case of "political schizophrenia."

Mexico's nationalism and anti-Americanism made sense in the 19th and 20th centuries, Castaneda said.
...
But what's happening today?" Castaneda asked. "These two theses should not only be considered outdated and be phased out, but are unsustainable in today's world.

"One can't continue defining Mexico's national identity, or any other country's national identity, primarily through nationalism."

Why? Not only because we live in a globalized world, in which countries depend more on exchanges of goods, services and people than at any time in recent history, but because Mexico in particular depends more than most countries on good relations with the United States.

Consider: About 90 percent of Mexico's trade, nearly 90 percent of Mexico's foreign tourism, more than 75 percent of foreign investment and more than 95 percent of the remittances of Mexican workers living overseas - which have become the country's third-largest source of income - come from the United States.

In addition, 25 percent of Mexico's economically active labor force works in the United States.

I get it now! Nationalism is obsolete because we might notice the giant lamprey attached to our southern border.

Carlos Monsivais, a prominent writer and one of the most brilliant minds of Mexico's democratic left, is somewhat more optimistic.

"Mexican society has long ceased to be nationalistic: It's a post-nationalistic society," Monsivais said.

"Nobody that I know of is demanding an anti-American war or anything like that. What it is asking is that Mexico demand the end of racist U.S. anti-immigration policies and other issues that affect us."

Interesting world these "brilliant minds" live in. A big national policy issue is that it they want it to be easier to dump their citizens across the border.

Hey, I don't mind because there is geeky fun involved! Wired says Geek 'Vigilantes' Monitor Border:

A group of tech-savvy ranchers in Arizona is using military technology to monitor and apprehend illegal immigrants crossing the border from Mexico into the United States.

Members of the group have spiked their land with thousands of motion sensors. They also use infrared tracking devices, global positioning systems, night vision goggles, radar and other gear to survey movement near the border.
...

ABP member Roger Barnett has $30,000 worth of sensors on his land and receivers in his ranch house and trucks. The ranch receiver produces a continuous printout of sensor hits.

"Roger can generally tell from the location of the sensor if a given hit is good or not," Spencer said. "When I was there two weeks ago, two hits led to the discovery of 40 illegal aliens."

When human presence is detected by one of the devices, the ranchers said they attempt to apprehend illegal immigrants and turn them over to the U.S. Border Patrol.

ABP members are further aided by portable battlefield radar units once used by Special Forces reconnaissance teams to protect their camps.
...
Spencer said he is opening a test center for security technology, and welcomes any company that wants to conduct field trials of its products. The patrol documents their operations on a website.

When suspected illegal border crossers are found, patrol members typically e-mail the GPS coordinates (longitude and latitude) of their location to Spencer, as well as digital pictures or videos. The information is then uploaded to the group's website.

Spencer said a new website, to launch in February, will automatically produce and update maps from the e-mailed reports.

Visitors to the site will see real-time tracking information on people who are attempting to cross the border. Flashing icons will indicate the current "hot spots" where visitors can click to zoom in and watch live video feeds of the patrol's activities.

Betty Lou get the popcorn! It's illegal alien TV!

But I thought the government was supposed to be patrolling the borders?

Kyoto plan like 'lipstick on a pig'
From the National Post (Canada):

OTTAWA and EDMONTON - Provincial politicians and business leaders were more than skeptical yesterday toward Ottawa's updated Kyoto plan, slamming a strategy they say was cooked up secretly and sprung on them through the media.

"It's a clear breach of trust," Lorne Taylor, Alberta's Environment Minister, said, describing the plan as "lipstick on a pig."

"They're not working in collaboration with the provinces when they release to the press and the public without even discussing it [with the provinces]."

Federal officials, who spoke on background yesterday, said the new plan will limit the burden on large companies that are the main source of industrial greenhouse gases. It will also ask individual citizens to reduce greenhouse-gas emissions by a tonne a year.

Canadians can forget about eating beans.

The federal officials said the plan would mean only a 0.4% decline in gross domestic product and by 2010 would cost about 60,000 jobs.

Such a deal! And of course, it won't make any appreciable difference in the amount of "greenhouse gases" in the atmosphere.

More Crap From Space Alert!
The BBC asks Did quark matter strike Earth?:

A group of researchers have identified two seismic events that they think provide the first evidence of a previously undetected form of matter passing through the Earth.

The so-called strange quark matter is so dense that a piece the size of a human cell would weigh a tonne.

The two events under study both took place in 1993.
...
One event occurred on 22 October, 1993, when, according to the researchers, something entered the Earth off Antarctica and left it south of India 0.73 of a second later.

The other occurred on 24 November, 1993, when an object entered south of Australia and exited the Earth near Antarctica 0.15 of a second later.
...
He calculated that strange quark particles would dash through Earth with dramatic effect: a one-tonne spec would release the energy of a 50-kilotonne nuclear bomb, spread along its entire path through the Earth.

Even spread out, that could put a crimp in your day!

Don't try this at home alert ... with a twist
The Sydney Morning Herald astounds with Unit bomb 'capable of destroying entire block':

A blind man who blew up his kitchen with a home-made bomb had enough chemicals, fertiliser and other components to destroy his entire unit block, a court was told yesterday.

Andrew James Neems, 24, downloaded information on bomb-making from the State Library internet archives which he converted to braille, police claim. He then bought the materials which he needed from several hardware stores.
...
Sergeant Murray said Neems had constructed a smaller incendiary device which he detonated with a match at 3pm after attempts to trigger it with a shockwave failed.

But when Neems failed to douse the ensuing fire on the floor of his kitchen with towels he was forced to call the fire brigade for help.

It was then that firefighters and police discovered the cache of chemicals and fertilisers.
...
He alleged Neems admitted when detained at Redfern Police Station to a "desire for revenge against other members of the community".

However, Neems's solicitor, David Carroll, described the police submission as far from "dramatic" and a "fantasy" that Neems set out to harm his neighbours or had terrorist ideals.

Mr Carroll said Neems, who the court was told had undergone a medical assessment while in custody and was found not to be mentally ill, had only caused a small fire in his kitchen with magnesium jelly which he lit with a match.

Sounds harmless to me.

The Decline of the West
(Via the Group Captain.) The Spectator (UK) has a revealing report - Why I quit the army: Gordon Bourne has resigned his commission in despair of a profession destroyed by red tape:

The government’s obsession with political correctness has been applied to the military with such relish that at times it seems almost insane. I have lost count of the number of forms I have had to fill in giving details of my ethnic origin. These forms used to be anonymous, but the last one I had to complete carried my name, rank and service number. Perhaps this was a reaction to an earlier (anonymous) form, which had revealed that in our all-male unit there was a huge number of Bangladeshi single mothers! There was always a great reluctance to fill in these forms, the fear being that anonymity had been removed so that the government could check how many members of ethnic minorities were being promoted. In response, the military chain of command offered soldiers an inducement: if they did not complete the forms, correctly, without jokes, on a Friday afternoon, they would remain in barracks for the weekend and fill them in at their leisure. No doubt that’s what New Labour means when it talks about being ‘Investors in People’.
...
One of the unfortunate side-effects of this civilianisation of the military is the need for the government to ensure that they are legally protected from soldiers - past and present - who seek to take advantage of the current blame-and-compensation culture. This is what is behind applying health-and-safety legislation to the military. The Royal Marines endurance course is one of the most admired and gruelling in the world, but it is apparently too tough for the big girls’ blouses in Whitehall. Health-and-safety inspectors are blamed for recommending that chlorine be introduced into the underwater tunnel, in case some poor Commando picks up a bit of dysentery or a sore throat as a result of wading through dirty water. The steep ravines worn into the slopes that recruits had to run up and down at various points on the seven-mile course were also contrary to all sorts of well-meaning legislation. The recommendation was for proper steps and handrails to be installed - just like the ones you find in the mountains of Afghanistan or the wadis of Iraq. Anybody even half-interested in ensuring that, when troops are deployed on operations, as many come home as possible must see that this sort of interference can only make an already perilously long jump from training to reality even longer.

Follow the link for much more. And lest you think that only the cousins have a problem, check out my post from on July on what the Ecoweenies have done to US armed forces training.

The purpose of the military is to kill people and break things in an orderly and proficient manner, and it is a minor miracle that they are able to do so despite crappy pay and the horde of bureacrats and lawyers afflicting them. How long before the tinkerers manage to screw that up?