EU is pronounced Ewwww
The Norwegian Blogger tells us about "The EU, a Union of Prosperity and Innovation!". There's much good hilarity including the European standard condom, but my fave is:

Not only that, but the Rapid Response Force will soon be able to make the European Union a military match for the United States. The problem is that the army is to be fully integrated and each soldier only to receive orders in his own language, so far we've only been able to find two eight language polyglots that are willing to be drill sergeants so it's slow going. Furthermore each soldier must carry a copy of the committee written "Soldiers Handbook", unfortunately the soldiers handbook dictate a maximum weight that the soldiers can carry, and the book itself exceeds that weight. But SOON it will work PERFECTLY!

The idea is a team of ferocious German soldiers egged on by British drill sergeants and fed by French cooks, all moving forward in perfect order while trying to kill the enemy. Some people claim that instead you got French soldiers egged on by Italian drill sergeants, and fed by British cooks, moving forward in total disarray while trying to surrender. Such claims are in clear violation of directive 9801/404, and repeated behaviour will force us to consider proposing a motion for a hearing about disciplinary reactions!

The poor EU bureaucrats don't get any respect for anything. Even their aspirations for 160 mm units.

It's Time for the Daschles to Come Clean!
I'm sure that Sinkmeister Clinton wasn't the first to figure out that a perfect way to profit from public office is through a spouse, but when he did it, "he done good". While Bubba the Arkansas "public servant" kept his hands clean (or at least out of sight), Hillary hauled in the dough via commodity "trading tips" from Tyson (HQ: Arkansas) and a seat on the board of directors of Wal-Mart (HQ: Arkansas).

But that Arkansas stuff is peanuts compared to what a boy and girl can do in the big city. Just look at little Tommy Daschle and his wife, Linda. As we all know, Tommy is the Senate majority leader and has a more than trivial effect on what legislation gets passed and which bureaucracies get funded. His wife, Linda, a former high level FAA bureaucrat now hauls down even bigger bucks as an industrial lobbyist in Washington for

American Airlines
American Assn of Airport Executives
American Trucking Assn
Boeing Co
City of Cleveland - Hopkins Intl Airport
L-3 Communications
Loral Spacecom
Northwest Airlines
Schering-Plough Corp
United Technologies

Notice the specialization in the transportation industry.

As Deborah Orrin reveals in the NY Post, Tommy and Linda refuse to divulge her income as a lobbyist (other than it is above $1000). Tommy also claims that his wife only lobbies in the House of Representatives which does not present a conflict because Tommy just runs the Senate. However, if you can stand the bogon radiation streaming off the Golden Couple, there are some interesting hints as to what exactly is going on. As Orrin reports:

L-3 hired Linda Daschle and her firm when airlines balked at buying L-3 bomb-detecting devices to screen airline baggage because they were inferior to a competitor, The Washington Post reported last fall.

But after Linda Daschle got on the case, Congress inserted an "unusually explicit directive" ordering the FAA to buy one device from L-3 for every rival model from InVision.

"The connections apparently paid off . . . but [last October] the Transportation Department's inspector general agreed with industry critics that L-3's machines were not performing," the newspaper reported.

The Washington Post reported back in 1997 that, unlike ordinary citizens who have to view Mt. Rushmore from below, "Big contributors to Senate Minority Leader Thomas A. Daschle (D-S.D.) are personally escorted to the top of George Washington's head by the park superintendent himself". This was a minor scandal while Linda was still at the FAA. It's funny how many of the big contributors had FAA business at the time and are now Linda's clients in her lobbying career. For that matter, it's funny how many of Linda's clients are currently big contributors to Tommy's campaign funds. The most notable is Northwest Airlines, Tommy's top sponsor.

Then there is the scandal about the rattletrap air service run by a Daschle family friend which managed to avoid FAA sanctions until they killed some people, and Linda's current clients who are lobbying for airline bailouts and lessened safety regulations and more. Read all the details in the Washington Monthly article, "Tom Daschle's Hillary" which offers the following summary:

So here's a case where a senator's wife gets a high-ranking government job, which in turn boosts her earning power as a lobbyist. She then represents clients who have business with and give money to her husband. Those clients pay her big bucks to help fight safety regulations and to win government money---money which helps pay the senator's mortgage. Yet so far, the press and congressional ethics hawks have largely given the Daschles a pass. So why isn't this a bigger story?

Mostly because no one in Congress has the slightest interest in raising it. Democrats certainly don't want to attack one of their own, and as they point out in defending the Daschles, Republicans are married to lobbyists, too. In addition, both Republicans and Democrats are beneficiaries of Linda Daschle's clients. "This town is so bizarre that Linda Daschle may even deliver campaign contributions to Trent Lott," says the Heritage Foundation's Ron Utt. Indeed, she freely admits to giving campaign contributions to Republicans.

So who's left to scrutinize the relationship? The answer is the press. But Daschle has them covered too. Unlike Hillary a decade ago, Linda Daschle is a Beltway insider who understands the rules of the game. The main rule is that the effects of your actions, no matter how dubious---say, weakening airline safety---are never grounds for a scandal so long as you first, disclose your actions, and then, don't violate the ethics rules in the process. If Tom or Linda Daschle had secretly taken a free pair of Superbowl tickets from Northwest Airlines and then pushed the airline bailout plan, that would be a big story. But the fact that Tom Daschle takes thousands of dollars in campaign contributions from Northwest and his wife's firm collects $200,000 a year to lobby for them is no problem at all.

Congress has no rules prohibiting members' spouses from lobbying. Notoriously porous, congressional ethics rules were written on the not so unreasonable theory that it's impossible to forbid each and every potential conflict of interest, and that in the end, the voters are the ultimate arbiters of congressional behavior.

Since we are the ultimate arbiters, it's time for Tommy and Linda to publish every detail of their financial activities so we can decide. Okay Tommy, where's the data?

Hot Time in Mexico
The AP is reporting that outside Mexico City,

Protesting farmers threatened to tie a dozen hostages to gasoline trucks and light them on fire unless police freed detained demonstrators in an escalation of their fight to block a Mexico City airport project.

As the standoff 15 miles northeast of Mexico City entered its third day Friday, protesters armed themselves with gasoline bombs and set off fireworks, fearing a raid by federal and state police. Others among the roughly 1,000 farmers fought off boredom by standing around huge bonfires and chatting.

"How far will we go?" farm leader David Pajaro asked protesters, many of whom wore ski masks and carried machetes. They shouted back: "To the death!"

The hostages in the town of San Salvador Atenco included a deputy state prosecutor, city officials and police officers. A line of more than 200 police officers in riot gear stood at the ready on the outskirts of town, and authorities said more than 400 more officers were on standby on nearby highways.

Looks like Sr. Pajaro is well on the way to getting his wish.

Dress Code for Crooks
The Boston Globe shares the plans of some Massachusetts banks to post signs requesting customers not to wear certain articles of clothing in order to cope with a surge of bank robberiies.

Dark sunglasses. Hat. Hooded sweatshirt. When police get calls reporting a bank robbery, invariably the suspect is described wearing one of those accessories. Sometimes, they've donned all three.

The wares are, as an FBI spokeswoman said in an interview, ''the uniform of choice'' of bank robbers, for the obvious reason that it helps shield their identity.

Now some Massachusetts banks - trying to thwart a dramatic increase in robberies - are hoping to strip would-be robbers of their preferred get-ups by posting signs asking customers to please lose the shades and hats.

...

Customers at the Milford bank now face these words when they walk through the front door: ''To preserve safety and security, we respectfully request all customers to remove hats, hoods, and sunglasses while in the bank. Thank you.''

Despite the sign, most bank patrons were unaware of the changes this week. Some went into the bank wearing baseball hats and sunglasses and were not asked by employees, including security guards, to remove them. But others were asked, and, although surprised, took them off without protest. A few who knew the rules took off hats and sunglasses before entering, tucking them into purses or under their arms.

"When hats are outlawed, only outlaws will have hats?" I suppose this might deter some solitary bank robbers, but if it is a group of robbers, all it is going to do is start the action early.

Let Georgia Put You in the Driver's Seat (of a Police Interceptor)
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports on "state car hijinks" in the Georgia state government:

Georgia has about 23,000 state vehicles, but don't ask where they all are. The state doesn't know.

In fact, the government can't even say for sure how many vehicles the state owns. State workers authorized to take cars home are required to keep track of the miles they drive, but noncompliance is widespread.

Gov. Roy Barnes gave Georgia's nearly 100 agency directors a month to account for the state's vehicles, but, 41 had not complied by this week's deadline.

Of course there's the usual petty larceny

Auditors say the state is way too loose on who gets cars and what they can bill taxpayers for.

...

All over Georgia, taxpayers are subsidizing state workers for their commutes to work, at a cost of more than $6 million a year.

But the best item is:

The push to account for state cars and for who's using them started when Rep. Paul Smith (D-Rome) inquired about vehicles assigned to nearly three dozen technical schools scattered across the state. He was especially interested in school administrators being assigned police interceptor versions of a full-sized Ford, which cost $24,000 even when ordered in bulk.

"I was told the only vehicles they had were these old cars that people gave them that they had reworked," Smith said. "But most technical school officials had police special Crown Victorias. And I don't know who they were chasing at 140 mph."

Officials at the state Department of Technical and Adult Education said they don't know how many cars they have or what kind they are. Laura Gammage, assistant commissioner for administrative services, said her agency missed the governor's deadline because it couldn't figure out if the state wants to get reports from each school separately, or if one report with 34 entries would suffice.

I bet a dog ate Laura's homework too! I know this is chump change compared to the Federal Department of Housing and Urban Development "misplacing" $59 billion, but I want a Police Interceptor!

More Ice Cream Violence!
First it was Mr. Softee with a baseball bat, now it's Mr. Ice Cream with a sandal. From the North Jersey News:

An ice cream vendor took a beating Monday when a competitor thought she was trespassing on his turf, police said.

Shiam Daoud, 52, of Paterson was taken to The Valley Hospital in Ridgewood with bruises on her head, face, arm, and hip, police said.

They charged Rashed Awaadeh, 50, of Getty Avenue, Paterson, with aggravated assault.

Police were called to Finch Park on Island Avenue at 4:09 p.m. by witnesses who said they saw Awaadeh leave his Mister Ice Cream truck and attack Daoud inside her Good Humor truck. He first began to punch her in the face with his fists, and then used his footwear as weapons, they said.

"He had heavy sandals on and began hitting her on the head with the sandals," said Ramsey Police Director Joseph Delaney. "He claimed he only pushed her, but the witnesses observed him hitting her about the face.''

Hmm, times have apparently changed.

Fore!
The Scotsman reports that 47 of 48 Nigerians who entered the UK to take part in the British Open have disappeared.

Organisers of the Open Championship have launched an investigation after 47 out of 48 Nigerians granted visas to enter Britain to take part in the competition failed to turn up for their games.

There are suspicions that some of the would-be golfers had no intention of taking part in the tournament but used the event as an excuse to get past immigration controls.

Yoicks!

The Royal and Ancient Golf Club, which organises the tournament, has expressed surprise at the size of the entry from a country not normally associated with top-class golf, and concern about the failure of the golfers to show up.

The mystery deepened yesterday when both the Nigerian Golf Union and the Nigerian High Commission denied any knowledge of such a large entry.

Top-class golf courses are few and far between in the West African country and the annals of golfing history are not overburdened with the names of Nigerian greats.

I suggest the Royal and Ancient stand by for a Nigerian email.

Another Mark Steyn Gem
In the Spectator: Mark Steyn says that it’s a win–win situation for the President in Palestine, but not for the poor old Europeans.

Tough Times on the Axis of Evil
Dave Trowbridge at Redwood Dragon covers the State Department dummying up on the situation in Iran. I'd love to believe it's because of a super secret payback plan for the mullahs, but I suspect Dave has it right.

Dear Editor
Contrary to my intent to feature letters to the editor from around the USA, I'm afraid I nipped across the border for a letter to the Ottawa Citizen:

Wednesday, July 10, 2002

Re: An all-American bash, July 4.

It is befitting to wish your American neighbours the best on Independence Day. Denigrating our other allies, such as the Europeans, in your editorial was mean and betrays the dislikes of your newspaper's chain for the more balanced policies advocated by the European Union on the Palestinian-Israel dispute.

The simplistic approach of the American president is smiled at in European capitals. It is too easy to blame it on their envy of the United States.

...

But when it comes to international politics, culture and history, they do smile at the immaturity of our North American politicians and institutions. Understandably so. History is the best guide to the future. You cannot acquire centuries of it in a few decades.

The U.S. has produced a few great leaders: Ben Franklin, Franklin D. Roosevelt and John F. Kennedy. The others have been good for the politics of small-town U.S.A. but have failed miserably on the international front.

...

President George W. Bush has demonstrated his incapacity to take a rational and consistent international stands: free trade and huge tariffs on steel; complaints of subsidies abroad and billions to the farm bill; peace moderator in the Middle East and subservience to the Jewish lobbies at home. The constant reminder of potential terrorist attacks provides a perfect smokescreen for his total ineptitude.

Sept. 11 was a shock to most Europeans but one could feel the "they got it coming" attitude. This was not caused by envy but was born out of the realization that the American Middle East policy is biased, twisted and unintelligible. The Wild West mentality longs for a Texan shootout with bin Laden and the Mullah Omar on the theory that killing them will solve the long-term problem: just another sign of not having learned from history.

Georges Clermont,

Bruxelles, Belgium

Once upon a time, the Belgian 1st ParaCommando made a combat jump at Stanleyville to rescue hostages from the terrorist savages of that time. Georges' center of interest is more likely who goosed who amongst his pals at the local cafe. I wonder what kind of cheese he likes with his whine?