Today's Hoot!

Conan O'Brien:

This year White House Christmas decorations include several 10-foot-tall nutcrackers. Apparently, this was the biggest nutcracker at the White House since Hillary Clinton was first lady.

Speaking of nutcrackers (albeit the European variety), I see that Arianna Huffington has been spanking Hillary for being a political weather vane. For a former Newt Gingrich groupie turned leftoid moonbat, that's kind of rich. Even better, the Huffster seems to be touting empty suit Barack Obama for President without realizing that Her Heinous would beat him like drum. Shows what can happen to your head when you hang out all the time with the nutroots and Hollyweirdos. Well, if her political advice is a trifle wacky, at least Arianna can advise on how to marry rich gay guys and engage in unceasing self promotion of meager talent. Sort of like Zsa Zsa Gabor except for the gay part.

While we're on the subject of husbands, one more Hillary joke from Jay Leno:

Hillary Clinton is making calls, hiring staff and getting ready to travel to Iowa to launch her campaign. She will be on the road non-stop for the next two years. How will Bill ever manage? The poor guy stuck home alone. He will be heartbroken.

I'm sure he will. Of course, while we're talking stay-at-home spouses, there's Barack Obama's wife Michelle who is VP of Community and External Affairs at the The University of Chicago Hospitals at a salary of over $300K. The hospital says it's merely a coincidence that she got a big promotion that nearly tripled her salary after ole Barack became a Senator and that Michelle now gets paid much the same as the other 16 vice-presidents who actually have something to do with medicine and running the hospitals and medical centers and all that icky stuff. I say that unless she's phoning it in from Washington DC that means Barack is swanning about the nation's capital all on his lonesome. Beware of fat girls delivering pizzas, Barack!

Fun with global warming

Media Shows Irrational Hysteria on Global Warming:

David Deming, an associate professor at the University of Oklahoma and an adjunct scholar with the National Center for Policy Analysis (NCPA), testified this morning at a special hearing of the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee. The hearing examined climate change and the media. Bellow are excerpts from his prepared remarks.

"In 1995, I published a short paper in the academic journal Science. In that study, I reviewed how borehole temperature data recorded a warming of about one degree Celsius in North America over the last 100 to 150 years. The week the article appeared, I was contacted by a reporter for National Public Radio. He offered to interview me, but only if I would state that the warming was due to human activity. When I refused to do so, he hung up on me.

"I had another interesting experience around the time my paper in Science was published. I received an astonishing email from a major researcher in the area of climate change. He said, "We have to get rid of the Medieval Warm Period." "The Medieval Warm Period (MWP) was a time of unusually warm weather that began around 1000 AD and persisted until a cold period known as the "Little Ice Age" took hold in the 14th century. ... The existence of the MWP had been recognized in the scientific literature for decades. But now it was a major embarrassment to those maintaining that the 20th century warming was truly anomalous. It had to be "gotten rid of."

"In 1999, Michael Mann and his colleagues published a reconstruction of past temperature in which the MWP simply vanished. This unique estimate became known as the "hockey stick," because of the shape of the temperature graph. "Normally in science, when you have a novel result that appears to overturn previous work, you have to demonstrate why the earlier work was wrong. But the work of Mann and his colleagues was initially accepted uncritically, even though it contradicted the results of more than 100 previous studies. Other researchers have since reaffirmed that the Medieval Warm Period was both warm and global in its extent.

"There is an overwhelming bias today in the media regarding the issue of global warming. In the past two years, this bias has bloomed into an irrational hysteria. Every natural disaster that occurs is now linked with global warming, no matter how tenuous or impossible the connection. As a result, the public has become vastly misinformed."

You have hurricanes, it's due to global warming. You don't have hurricanes, it's due to global warming. The dog eats your homework, that's global warming too.

Next year Donk Barbara Boxer (reputed to be the dumbest US Senator, although there's lots of competition for that title) is taking over the committee and is promising endless hearings on ... (wait for it) ... global warming. Based on her performance yesterday, it's going to be a real snoozer.

It's the "Big Noise" from Virginia

George Will spanks bombastic nutjob James Webb, but not hard enough. Well, we knew he had a swelled head, it runs in the family:

Time to rock and roll

Paul Bedard:

Looks like the Republicans in the House aren't planning to play nice-nice with the Democrats after all. The emerging House Republican plan on how to address the new Democratic majority is turning toward an aggressive effort to portray Speaker-elect Nancy Pelosi and her team as out of touch and liberal.

"Come January, we'll take her head off every day," said a top GOP aide involved in the planning. "It will be a pure war of ideas over the next two years."

Leading the battle with be incoming House Minority Leader John Boehner and his conservative team. Insiders say that the goal is to pick at Democratic initiatives as pro-tax, pro-spending, or unworkable.

"We are going to re-establish that we are the party of ideas, that they got elected in a fluke, and we're going to make that known every day, every way," said the official. What's more, said another Republican aide, the GOP also plans to highlight what they see as Democratic hypocrisy or backtracking on previous promises. That started today when Boehner's office slammed the Democratic plan to abandon support for instituting the recommendations of the 9/11 commission. "There will be certain elements of 'I told you so' to the campaign," said the Republican aide.

I can think of some other fun elements too.

Today's Hoot!

SNL does Skeletor, er Nancy Pelosi:

(Via Herr Schlong)

Sheesh, what next?

Peaceniks work up to Global Orgasm:

If you've got a few minutes to spare on 22 December, and fancy a quick shag for the advancement of World peace and harmony, then get yourself down to Global Orgasm - a mass coming-together of.. well, no, a mass coming together sums it up quite nicely.

The plan is pretty simple: to "effect change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy" during the "First Annual Solstice Synchronized Global Orgasm for Peace".

There's more japery by following the link, but I wonder if these Fruit Loops have considered possible negative effects? Aside from the possibility of sore camels in Iran and Syria, can you imagine the effect on "human energy" if Cindy Sheehan slathered up with "emotion lotion" and jumped into a quivering Code Pink mosh pit of lust? On the other hand, I suppose we could survive if Skeletor Nancy Pelosi got together with John Murtha and Alcee Hastings to to "plight their troth," but I sure hope no one mentions it to Jimmy Carter and Hugo Chavez!

More products I didn't know I needed

No joke - Snoop Dogg Branded Dog Toys and Dog Apparel to Launch on Amazon.com:

JAKKS Pacific, Inc. announced today that its new line of Snoop Dogg branded pet products is expected to be available for pre-order on Amazon.com on November 21st, to coincide with the release of the highly anticipated new Snoop Dogg CD,Tha Blue Carpet Treatment. The Snoop Dogg pet line, marketed by JAKKS(R)' JPI Pets(TM) division, features dog toys, apparel and accessories inspired by the iconic Doggfather himself, including items featuring a sound chip that plays signature Snoop Dogg phrases.

Be still my heart.

Snoop Dogg says about his new pet products line, "Go get some quick,dogg-gone-it! 'Cuz Snoop Dogg said so. Bow Wow!"

Grrrrrrrr!!!!!!

The first assortment in the Snoop Dogg line-up includes a DJ Headset, Boom Box, Dogg Bone and Football, all of which are double stitched and made from durable plush and ballistic fabrics for safe and fun play for dogs. From a Boom Box and Doberman Plush Toy that play bona fide sound clips of Snoop Dogg himself, to a Canvas Bone with a squeaker, Snoop Dogg toys keep dogs and their hip hop loving owners grooving together. Suggested retail prices range from $5.99-8.99.

Too bad they don't have a chew toy that resembles ole Snoop.

The Snoop Dogg clothing assortment from JPI Pets launching on Amazon.com personifies the iconic rapper's style with a hip hop and urban feel. Styles in the first assortment include a Snoop Dogg doggie Basketball Jersey, animal print Faux Fur Coat and a Doggfather Hoodie Sweatshirt. All dog apparel are available in a variety of sizes from extra small to extra large, creating a walking fashion statement for fans of the Hip Hop legend and their dogs. Suggested retail price range from $12.99-$24.99.

Don't y'all snap these up before I get a chance to order!

Hmm, there are possibilities in this. How about John Murtha dog accessories featuring a "Suitcase O' Cash" chew toy and a cute little sheik outfit? Not to mention a doggie pooper scooper sack with ole John's mug on it.

Pretty boy John Edwards gets spanked by Wal Mart

Wal-Mart To Sen. John Edwards: No PS3 For You!:

In a statement from Wal-Mart today, former Senator John Edwards had a staffer contact the electronics manager in a Raleigh, North Carolina store to try and get his hands on a PlayStation 3. Problem was, later that night he reportedly told a story to people on a United Food and Commercial Workers (UFCW) union-sponsored call that his son had ridiculed a classmate about his shoes, which were purchased at Wal-Mart.

Must be great to rub the other kids noses in the fact that your father is a wealthy ambulance chaser. Anyhow:

The Company noted the PlayStation 3 is an extremely popular item this Christmas season, and while the rest of America’s working families are waiting patiently in line, Senator Edwards wants to cut to the front. While, we cannot guarantee that Sen. Edwards will be among one of the first to obtain a PlayStation 3, we are certain Sen. Edwards will be able to find great gifts for everyone on his Christmas list - many at Wal-Mart’s “roll-back prices.”

He's a man of the people fer sure. At least that's what he tells the servants.

Yeehaw!

The Aussies must have been thinking of me

Australia's CSIRO (Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation) demonstrates some useful technology:

CSIRO has ‘built’ a shirt which could fulfil the fantasy of anyone who has, in the privacy of their homes, jammed along with one of rock ‘n roll’s great lead guitarists.

Led by engineer Dr Richard Helmer a team of researchers at CSIRO Textiles and Fibre Technology in Geelong has created a ‘wearable instrument shirt’ (WIS) which enables users to play an ‘air guitar’ simply by moving one arm to pick chords and the other to strum the imaginary instrument’s strings.

“Freedom of movement is a great feature of these textile-based interfaces,” Dr Helmer says.

”Our air guitar consists of a wearable sensor interface embedded in a conventional 'shirt' which uses custom software to map gestures with audio samples.

“It’s an easy-to-use, virtual instrument that allows real-time music making – even by players without significant musical or computing skills. It allows you to jump around and the sound generated is just like an original mp3.”

Dang, I'll be a star!