Where's my tinfoil beanie?

Feds arrest 15 aliens at Roswell! I guess I shouldn't have been so skeptical. Er, hold on a sec:

It appears that the black helicopter brigade were right all along about Area 51, since US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) operatives this week arrested 15 aliens at the facility who were, chillingly, in the process of painting military aircraft when the net closed.

That's according to an official ICE report under the splendid headline "ICE arrests 15 aliens in Roswell working for US military contractor".

The aliens in question were described as "determined to be illegally residing and working in the United States" and will be sent back to their place of origin.

Just doing the jobs no Earthlings will do, I guess.

Party poopers!

China bans strippers at funerals:

China has added strippers at funerals to its burgeoning list of proscribed activities, the BBC reports.

Bare-assed ladies are apparently deployed at rural send-offs to boost mourner numbers, since "large crowds are seen as a mark of honour".
...
And just to make sure the ban sticks, the powers that be have set up a hotline where concerned citizens can earn cash rewards for reporting "funeral misdeeds".

Nobody likes a snitch!

We gather that strippers are commonly seen at Taiwanese funerals, where explicit displays are accompanied by hard-core commentary on the deceased's virility. Taiwanese lottery winners also hire strippers to disrobe in temples as a mark of gratitude for their good fortune. The Church of England might like to consider this practice as a way of boosting congregations.

The Donks ought to check Cindy Sheehan's availability. It won't work for normal folks, but it will sure get their base all steamy.

Second Hoot!

Meanwhile in the Holy City of Coral Gables, Steve (pbuh) says Hurricane Season is Dead:

I keep checking Weather Underground for hurricane information. Absolutely nothing is happening. Idiots who actually want storms to form are getting emotional over the teasing now.

The water out there is at or below normal temperatures. Gee, what happened to global warming? Well, as a reader pointed out in a comment, cool water is actually a sign that global warming is real. So is hot water. Hot weather is caused by global warming. Cool weather is caused by global warming. And when the weather doesn't change at all? That's global warming at work. And Bush caused it. Unless it turns out to be a good thing. Then it happened in spite of Bush. And if we don't impeach him, it will go away.

More hijinks by following the link, but I'm really bummed that that there aren't any virgin sacrifices in the offing to appease the Weather Gods^TM. Maybe we could get Al Gore to wear a grass skirt and just pretend?

Code Red "Well, duh!" Alert

Hezbollah night-vision gear was from Britain:

Israeli intelligence officials have complained to Britain and the United States that sensitive night-vision equipment recovered from Hezbollah fighters during the war in Lebanon had been exported by Britain to Iran. British officials said the equipment had been intended for use in a U.N. anti-narcotics campaign.
...
The spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity, said Britain participates, through the U.N. drug-fighting agency, in Iran's interception program, which is run by anti-narcotics forces along the country's eastern border with Afghanistan and Pakistan, both major opium poppy-growing countries.

"We've been encouraging the Iranians as part of their anti-narcotics program, and there was an export in 2003 ... as part of the heroin and opium smuggling program. This is an area where we try not to let the nuclear issue prevent cooperation on countering narcotics," he said, referring to Iran's dispute with the United Nations over its nuclear enrichment program.

Good thing they didn't ask for any jet fighters or tanks to counter those pesky drug traffickers.

In the early phases of the Israeli ground advance against Hezbollah positions across the border region, commanders complained to their superiors that nighttime operations had been hampered by the ability of Hezbollah fighters to observe and counter the Israeli moves. In more than six days of bitter fighting around the village of Mis-a-Jebel, the Israeli army lost six soldiers, and more than 20 were injured.
...
"You can also record what you are watching. Then it is connected to computers. You can obtain a perfect intelligence picture in real time about the situation. It is then connected to firing systems or to units that are going to act in accordance with the intelligence they are receiving," Radowicz said during the briefing.

"It is a system that we can find in every serious army in the world."
...

"In every village which served as the regional command, you can find the same unit --intelligence, weapons systems, command and control and connection -- with the units which are firing or using the mobile platforms (for firing rockets) for targeting Israel," he said.

What do you bet the Iranians didn't even have to pay for the units either?

Bill Johnson notices that the emperor is starkers

Karr may be crazy, but he's not the right man:

I've had enough. So I will just come right out and say what others in this business apparently will not:

Mary Lacy, that's not your boy.

John Mark Karr as much killed JonBenet Ramsey as Mickey Mouse did. This is a fool's errand you're on, and it won't end pretty.
...
What I'm saying is no different than anyone capable of reading a newspaper or watching a television is saying.
...
Most journalists in this town and across the globe have been falling over themselves trying not to - in the words of Mrs. Lacy - "rush to judgment" on this fool, all the while rupturing an intestine to keep from laughing.

Not me. I can barely get up off the floor.

I think it's neat the way Karr looks and acts like Ned Lamont without a suntan.

Today's Hoot!

Wizbang:

Am I the only person who believes that if Kofi Annan had been the detective in charge of the Simpson murder, he would have had the corpse of Nicole Simpson arrested for the crime?

Only after he emptied all the pockets, stripped off all the jewelry, and pried out the teeth with fillings.

Don't tell Congress!

West Virginia might get another Robert Byrd Research Center so that the USA can keep up - S.Korea Wants People in 'Smart' Clothes:

Technology-savvy South Korea isn't happy making only MP3 players and the memory chips that go inside many of the more popular models. It also wants people wearing South Korean "smart" clothes with built-in digital music players.

The government is backing efforts to launch the digitized apparel by the end of the year, hoping to win a top position for the country as an exporter of such clothing.

Be still my heart! I'm sure the guys down at the barber shop won't laugh as long as they look like MC Hammer pants.

Today's Hoot!

PoliPundit:

Q. What’s the definition of a moral dilemma?

A. Lefties having to choose sides: Islamic fascists or gay marriage.

You can always count on the lefties when the going gets tough

Don’t Fight the Terrorists - Fight the Weather!:

It’s a peculiar thing that as the threat of global terrorism reaches a crescendo, so apparently does the threat of global warming—at least that’s what some would have us believe.

Tough, national-security language is borrowed from the former and applied to the latter to make the case: "I really consider this a national security issue,” celebrity activist and “An Inconvenient Truth” producer Laurie David said, and hoped the film would serve as a “wake-up call.”

“Truth” star Al Gore calls global warming a “planetary emergency” and speaks of a clash between “civilization and the planet.”

Likewise, Bill Clinton’s “first worry” is climate change. “It’s the only thing that I believe has the power to fundamentally end the march of civilization as we know it,” the reputedly intelligent ex-president told a World Economic Forum audience earlier this year. Leonardo DiCaprio, meanwhile, says we’re in the “11th Hour.”

No wonder that while Islamic terrorism claims lives by the thousands every year, Hollywood churns out movies about the menace of Joe McCarthy, the Crusaders, Israeli Mossad and Richard Nixon. Freud called it displacement.

Let’s be honest: people fixate on the environment when they can’t deal with real threats. Combating the climate gives the non-hawks a chance to look tough. They figure, “Let’s flex our muscle with this Mother Nature thing. Let’s take a preemptive strike at an SUV. Let’s show ‘em we can be tough too.”

Ooooo! Show us your muscles - take you hats off!

This post was carbon neutral.

Today's Hoot!

Daimnation!

If you have a weak stomach, I recommend you avoid the tongue bath Alexandre Trudeau gives family friend Fidel Castro in today's Toronto Star.

Maybe more than a family friend since Alexandre's mother "acted as Cuban president Fidel Castro's photographer-for-a-day and is plausibly reported to have had a closer relationship with him."