Today's Hoot!

Works on Islamofascists too.

Today's Hoot!

Conan O'Brien:

Fidel Castro is still in the hospital with a serious medical condition. He still thinks communism was a good idea until he was being rushed to the hospital in a ’55 Oldsmobile.

And the doctor showed him the latest technology in the government hospital - the enema bag.

Uhoh! Ned Lamont's nutroots exposed for everyone to see!

Everyone's favorite pencil neck freak, Ned Lamont, is going to have to work a whole lot harder to prove that his supporters don't need a checkup from the neck up. Lotsa luck with that, Ned! Of course, since he's their lap dog, one can't help but wonder about him too. More from Allah here.

Today's Big Snooze!

Cher Flogs Off All Her Old Crap:

When most people redecorate their homes, they'll just bung down any old tatty carpet and the cheapest Ikea sofa they can find, but not Cher. To redecorate her home, Cher first has to sell off 700 bits of old tat just to make room.

That's right - you can be the proud owner of any number of crazy old crap that Cher used to own. Cher is auctioning off more than one million dollars worth of her belongings, like her bed, some of her near-pornographic stage costumes and a 500-year-old Jesus. The Cher auction looks to be the place to pick up the perfect Christmas present for the creepy homosexual or bitter red-eyed divorcee in your life.

Cher's been keeping herself to herself lately - apart from another traditional retirement announcement, or course. But it's generally agreed that a semi-reclusive Cher is preferable to seeing an old woman mong about a stage singing songs 20 years too young for her while wearing a scrap of lycra that barely covers her labia. After all, we've got Madonna for that now.

Moonbat Mom in Smoothie Horror!

Social news: When last we visited Moonbat Cindy Sheehan, the aging media whore was leading a novel celebrity fast where apparently all you could eat was dessert. Good news for her sweet tooth, bad news for her waistline:

"I want to fast some more!"

Now, however, pals of the one time photo-op princess are worried about the effects of the all-dessert diet on the ballooning bimbo and are increasingly troubled by her consuming addiction to sugary treats. Says an anonymous Code Pinko worker at the Crawford, Texas Peace House where Cindy has been parking her wide load lately, "It was darn hot and I was having an ice cream cone when Cindy saw me. It was like Moby Dick spotting Captain Ahab! She chased me around the house 3 times and when the cone fell in the dirt, she got down on all fours and lapped it up, grunting all the while. I wouldn't have minded so much if she hadn't just cleaned out the Peace House pantry and and inhaled all the Twinkies, Ring Dings, Scooter Pies and the last two 3 liter bottles of Dr. Pepper."

The peace freak politicos think there may be an upside though and are already planning a new publicity campaign blaming the humongous harpy's increasingly aberrant appearance on a Bush administration plot:

Stay tuned.

Today's hoot!

Ben Stein:

Is Walter Cronkite a man who deserves to be honored for his contributions to American life? Absolutely.

But for the record, all of those contributions should be honored, however unintentional. For Fox News and every conservative radio show, magazine, website, and editorial page to succeed they had to have an audience. Walter Cronkite, with his relentless, decades-long delivery of his liberal world view as "the way it is" created that audience almost single-handedly.

Thanks, Uncle Walter. What would conservatives have done without you?

Crazy Uncle Wally - The most trusted east end of a horse going west in America.

Cindy Sheehan's Secret Plan

You may have heard that Cindy Sheehan was spending some of the insurance money she got for the death of her hero son on 5 acres in Crawford, Texas where she and her wingnut pals can hang out for photo-ops with the national press. Guess again:

Heck, why not? An aging media whore has to look out for number one!

Today's Hoot!

Punchline only from Fraters Libertas:

Hurry fellas, a classy dame like that isn't going to be on the market for long.

Click through for the setup and no worries, it doesn't involve Cindy Sheehan.

What a tool

Don't ever let Glenn Greenwald show you his "Magic Boyfriend"

There's something funny about goofy lefty blogger Glenn Greenwald ... er, actually there are a lot of things funny about ole Glenn, but one of them is that he has so many pals that sound just like him and post blog comments defending him from the same IP address that he uses. Wuzzadem explains it all with yet more socks.

Pucker up for a big wet kiss from our pals

The poster in the back of the White House with "ISLAM WILL DOMINATE" is a nice touch too. Oh yeah, al-Reuters tells us that this is "supporters of Lebanon" protesting outside the Israeli consulate in New York. Golly, you could have fooled me! I would have said it It looks more like the usual Islamic terrorist fanboys.