Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Shamu blubbers, but it gets better

We all knew Rosie O'Donnell was more than a few fries short of a Happy Meal, but now she confirms it:
Rosie O'Donnell says she began being treated for depression after the Columbine school shootings and hangs upside down for up to a half-hour a day to improve her mental state.
It's got to look like one of those sport fishing photos where they hang up the tuna at the dock, but hold on:

When gunmen killed 13 people at Columbine High School in Colorado in 1999, O'Donnell said she felt as if it had happened to her children.

Sounds less like depression and more like delusion.

"I couldn't stop crying," she said on an episode taped for ABC's "The View" and due to air Friday. "I stayed in my room. The lights were off. I couldn't get out of bed and that's when I started taking medication."

They just delivered the stack of pizzas bedside I guess, but I don't want to know about the chamberpot. Must have been the size of wash tub.
When she began taking antidepressants, O'Donnell, 44, said she began yoga and "inversion therapy," where she hangs upside down by a swing for 15 to 30 minutes a day. She demonstrates it on "The View." [on Friday]
Hot dang! Is that "Must See TV" or not? Maybe she'll do the whole show upside down!

But wait, there's more:

O'Donnell said she also has seasonal affective disorder, often called SAD, the wintertime blues that can strike when the days grow short. SAD is characterized by recurrent major depressive episodes during the fall and winter.
Being trapped indoors with Rosie makes everybody sad I guess.
She's "instantly happy" on sunny days but feels as if she's being tortured when it's cloudy. She feels the most important thing to do when you're feeling depressed is to get up and move.
Move faster, Shamu. Preferably far away.