Today's Hoot!

Professor Bunyip:

Good manners in our multi-culti age demand that, if you can't say anything nice about another group, then you must say nothing at all -- an observance that has worked mightily to the benefit of soccer. If decent folks were free to speak their minds, they'd concede that it's a decent enough sport for little kids and girls, especially the ones who get their tops off, but somewhat beneath the dignity of men. Once, in less liberated times, the code no doubt served a purpose: a socially acceptable means by which excited men might kiss each other in front of large crowds.

The good professor is a little tough on "snooze ball," but what he is really on about is this year's finals in a real man's sport, Australian Rules Football. It's been centuries since I've seen a game, but I seem to recall that it consists chiefly of a mob of hearty ruffians without pads bashing each other while loosely moderated by guys in white coats waving flags according to some incomprehensible rules. Sort of like a samurai war movie where the troops wear shorts.