Teh-Ray-Za and Lurch Alert!

Teresa: Bush Enviro Record 'a Sin Against Humankind'

Would-be first lady Teresa Heinz Kerry blasted President Bush's environmental record over the weekend, calling it "a sin against humankind."

Speaking before the Rev. Al Sharpton's National Action Network in Manhattan, Heinz Kerry said the administration's efforts to alter the clean air and water acts were "inexcusable and unforgivable."

The $700 million ketchup heiress, who jets around in a gas-guzzling Gulfstream V and owns several SUVs, then went even further, describing the Bush record as "a sin against humankind, period."

That Teresa is a weenie is no surprise, but who knew that Rev. Al was an Ecoweenie?

But you better be careful what you say about Lurch's Sugar Momma - Kerry Warns Opponents Not to Attack His Wife:

Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry (news - web sites) warned his political opponents on Monday against attacking his outspoken wife, Teresa Heinz Kerry, saying, "They're going to have to go through me."

The Massachusetts senator also sought to dispel the notion he was aloof, asking one television interviewer: "Have you had a beer with me yet? I like to have fun as much as the next person, and go out and hack around and have a good time."

Sing it everyone! "Macho, macho, macho man!"

And speaking of macho, it's a little hard to identify with someone who arranges for bogus home war movies, presumably in case he ever ran for office (hat tip: Henry Hanks):

The newest $25 million John Kerry advertising buy includes film of a young Kerry, rifle in hand, strutting through a Vietnamese jungle village in full field regalia. Boston journalists who have seen it are guffawing. When Kerry has shown them this footage over the years he described it as a "re-enactment" staged by Kerry with a Super-8 home-movie camera. Others say the original shots may have been part of his defense for an anticipated court martial.

Lurch's web site used to have a frame from the Super 8 available as desktop wallpaper, but it looks like it went down the memory hole. Too bad, it's just what I wanted - a snap of a bozo in fancy dress.