We all had our suspicions. The rumors, the effeminate gestures, the kids that look like Jeremiah Wright.
Yes, inside Barack Obama was a woman trying to get out.
So Barack called together his crack team of advisors who made the political calculations:
Given the fact that Obama is the gayest straight man ever to hold the office of the president, I fail to see what the problem is in his coming out of the closet on a rocket.
Oh, wait, can it be that African-American church ladies and gentlemen do not support the idea of homosexual marriage? Why would Obama care? Those groups are doomed to vote for him no matter what. In addition, those groups do not, as groups, have a lot of money after years of record Obama-induced African-American unemployment. In contrast the amount of money gay groups are expected to pony up for his campaign coffers is, in Hollywood alone, gigantic. When has money not trumped spirituality in Obama's career? Short answer, never.
And the result:
Obama's only worry now is what his Imam will say.
Better skip the trips to Muslim countries, Barry.