Friday, January 07, 2005

Thanks, Vincente!

News you can use! If you're an illegal alien.

Saltpeter for illegal aliens
TRANSLATION: If you will be crossing the Rio Grande, your wife or girlfriend may try to interfere with your adventure by putting saltpeter in your water supply. Do not let her interefere! She is a woman, and cannot understand the bond that forms between men.
Bummer. But she may be doing you a favor:

Large breasts defense

TRANSLATION: If the Americans catch you, they will have large-breasted women in tight dresses trying to give you documents to sign. The documents will be in English, and you won't understand them, but the Americans are hoping that you'll be so entranced by the large American breasts of their women that you will sign anything just to please them. Don't let the little head do the thinking for the big head. For instance, if you've signed a murder/kidnapping confession, it's a little too late to try for a "Large Breasts" defense in an American courtroom. Besides, no American state even allows the "Large Breasts" defense. Except California.
Much more hilarity by following the link.