Today's Hoot!

Iowahawk recounts the Blue State Blues as Coastal Parents Battle Invasion of Dollywood Values:

"I'm not sure where we went wrong," says Ellen McCormack, nervously fondling the recycled paper cup holding her organic Kona soy latte. "It seems like only yesterday Rain was a carefree little boy at the Montessori school, playing non-competitive musical chairs with the other children and his care facilitators."

"But now..." she pauses, staring out the window of her postmodern Palo Alto home. The words are hesitant, measured, bearing a tale of family heartbreak almost too painful for her to recount. "But now, Rain insists that I call him Bobby Ray."
...
"We try hard to engage all of our students in fun, healthy activities like Progressive Eco-Action March and Rage Against Intolerance Week," says Lawrence DiBenedetto of Patrice Lumumba Magnet School in Cambridge, Massachusetts. "Unfortunately, there are going to be those who fall through the cracks, into a life of bass fishing and stockcar racing."

It appears those cracks are widening. In one recent three-week period, fourteen high school students in Portland, Oregon were suspended for distributing pork rinds; a Burlington, Vermont high school was briefly closed for decontamination after janitors found a bible hidden in a restroom; and forty-six undergraduate coeds at Swarthmore were expelled for staging clandestine Mary Kay cosmetics parties.

Much, much more by following the link.

Not to fear! The United Nations is here!

UNITED NATIONS ESTABLISHES WORKING GROUP ON INTERNET GOVERNANCE:

Secretary-General Kofi Annan announced today the establishment of the Working Group on Internet Governance. The Working Group will prepare the ground for a decision on this issue by the second phase of the World Summit on the Information Society, to be held in Tunis in November 2005.

The Secretary-General was requested to establish a working group on Internet governance by the first phase of the World Summit on the Information Society held in Geneva in December 2003. The task of this Working Group is to organize an open dialogue on Internet Governance, among all stakeholders, and to bring recommendations on this subject to the second phase of the Summit.

The two documents adopted by the Geneva Summit -- the Declaration of Principles and the Plan of Action -- asked the Working Group “to investigate and make proposals for action, as appropriate, on the governance of the Internet by 2005”.

The obvious proposal is that they STFU and find somewhere else to play, but then they couldn't pad their expense accounts.

By the way, check out the web site for the Tunis Summit. They're asking for donations and selling souvenir books:

Relive key moments of the WSIS Geneva Summit and its preparatory process.

Sheesh - it's pr0n for bureaucrats.

I'm so excited!

That's right! Next Thursday is the the Grand Opening of the world's largest and ritziest singlewide!

Clinton Presidential Library

I can't even begin to keep track of all the festivities, but here's good news - Sen. Clinton Says Husband's Library Will Contrast With Bush Records Policy:

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton says her husband's new presidential library will share information openly in a way the current Bush administration has not.

Senator Clinton told The Associated Press in a phone interview today that the library will tell visitors about the controversies and the achievements.

This is going to be great!

And besides that:

Senator Clinton visited the library construction site last year during her book tour and says she will get a detailed look at the finished product Wednesday. Since becoming New York's junior senator in 2000, she has had few opportunities to return to the state she called home from 1974 to 1992.

Senator Clinton says she and her husband plan to make more frequent trips to Little Rock once the library's programs get into full swing.

If Pinocchio were true, Hillary and Bill would need daily nose jobs.

But wait, there's more! Clinton Library Displays Glitz in Preview. It's about what you would expect for a monument to self-adulation with a huge budget, but one part caught my eye:

Drawn gold drapes part to reveal a full-size replica of the Oval Office.

Now that brings back fond memories!

More on the accoutrements here including the fancy private apartment. And after you've toured the joint, don't forget the souvenir store!

Manager Connie Fails said she tried to fill the store with items that capture Clinton's ideals.

Proof of age required, I guess, but I wonder if all the items are legal in Arkansas?

Today's Hoot!

From next week's National Review Magazine. That reminds me - when's George Soros going to head off to the monastery?

There's always a comedian

(Hat tip: CompGeek)

Of course, if you really like low comedy, you can always watch the thug's funeral which some of the cable networks are carrying live:

And there's lots of anticipation of more fun to come:

Remember the Khomeni funeral? How they charged the Huey carrying his casket while the blades were still spinning? How they yanked the casket out and passed it around until the lid popped off and the contents fell out? O infidel dogs, that put the "fun" in "funeral!" We could be looking at a repeat!

Truth in Labeling Alert!

Stockholm Spectator:

Over at CNN International (read: Europe), recently expired terrorist Yassir Arafat gets the gauzy, soft-focus, wedding-invitation-font send off.

But that's not the way they're playing it in the USA. More by following the link.

Gosh, I wonder why that is? Meanwhile, some wags on FR decided to help them out with their graphics:

(Hat tip for the original: SondraK)

Veterans Day 2004

From yesterday's NY Post.

They finally pulled the plug on the mangy thug

It's a shame he died in bed, but hopefully he will receive an appropriate reward in the afterlife.

Hmm, fairly traditional. How about this, instead?

Hat tip: FR

Is it Mind Control Lasers or is it Jiffy Pop?

It seems to be the former when ABC's Carole Simpson is involved. The Daily Recycler has the video. The Media Research Center spotted this also and gives more details on ole Carole including:

ABC News correspondent Carole Simpson, who through 2003 served as the anchor of World News Tonight on Sunday and who now travels the country for ABC News to talk to high schoolers about how to consume news, lashed out at how the election results reflect the triumph of the "stupid" and how the red/blue maps match the slave versus free states.

"How to consume news"? I wonder if the stockholders know about this? Not to mention all the folks in the 31 "slave states." Carole certainly gives new meaning to the term "talking hairdo."

I'm very suspicious!

I mean it's not surprising that some leftoid would create a website for wankers to send in snaps of themselves holding signs saying how sad they are Lurch lost. (Although it is disappointing they managed to keep their clothes on.) And I guess I can believe the Chipmunk Twins:

But who could believe the German in a Hello Kitty hat?

And now I have final proof - Treacher is providing captions!

What next? Snaps of drunken politicians?

More fun with secession

Reader Nathan Bissonette at Powerline:

The secessionists are looking at the state-by-state Red/Blue map. A better indicator is the county-by-county Red/Blue map [on which almost all of the counties are red, even in the blue states]. Liberals don't need to secede. We need to turn Blue counties into Liberal Reservations, just like Indian Reservations.

Actually, that's the way it is already with the Liberal Reservation counties and cities doing their best to provide their own unique marriage laws, immigration laws, defense policy, foreign policy, and of course, the various efforts to destroy the 2nd amendment.

Thank You, John Ashcroft

Michelle Malkin:

He was the most underappreciated, most maligned, most ridiculed, and most demonized member of the Bush cabinet. He endured a brutal, vicious nomination process. After 9/11, he was damned for doing his job too aggressively, and damned for not doing his job aggressively enough. He withstood the secular Left's assaults on his deeply-held faith, and devoted himself to his tasks to the point of exhaustion.

In short, he bore all of the blame for the War on Terror's shortcomings, won little credit for its successes, and earned undeserved and largely uninformed scorn on both sides of the aisle. It will be the same way for whomever replaces him.

For reasons not worth describing, I ended up watching most of Hardball last night and the main complaint about Ashcroft was that he was so religious. Not that there were any examples of that causing a problem, it's just that it was so icky. Anyhow, he also gets my gratitude for an event that I suspect may be little remembered - turning in erstwhile 9/11 Commissioner Jaime Gorelick as the prime architect of the "wall" that prevented the pre 9/11 Justice Department from effectively investigating terrorists. It's the perfect example of what happens when you have PC tinkerers like Janet Reno and her clown posse running the shop.

Meanwhile in the Great White North

'Artist' jailed 90 days:

A College art student who was known by friends as a "big, cuddly, teddy bear," and who was once convicted of killing his own grandmother, was sent to jail yesterday for writing "kill all women" on the classroom blackboard. Former Georgian College student David Welch, 29, of Richmond Hill, was sentenced in Barrie court to 90 days in jail, to be served intermittently so he can keep his job as a bouncer.

How come nobody ever tells me about these fads?

And in related news: Need A Lift? It May Be Just A Cuddle Away:

Cuddle parties are the newest trend sweeping the country. Both young and old people are taking part. At a cuddle party, complete strangers nuzzle, massage, hug and sometimes even kiss.

"They are often experiencing a loss. Maybe they've just broken up with a boyfriend. Maybe they've just lost a wife. They really need the energy that comes from close physical contact and don't have another vehicle in which to get it," said Dr. Susan Kellogg, of the Pelvic and Sexual Health Institute.

Today's Hoot!

Jonah Goldberg has some fun with The Sore-Loser Party:

There are other complaints as well. Take the two leading liberal columnists at the New York Times, Maureen Dowd and Paul Krugman. As we all know, one's a whining self-parody of a hysterical liberal who lets feminine emotion and fear defeat reason and fact in almost every column. The other used to date Michael Douglas.

Much more by following the link.

Iowahawk tries to help!

A sample of the suggestions in Healings, Whoa-whoa-whoa, Healings:

• In the South, Democrats are on the cusp of winning back support from blue collar "NASCAR dads." Imagine the look on Karl Rove's face when he sees 150,000 'good ol' boys' cheering on Howard Dean in the #99 MoveOn.org Toyota Prius, roaring down the backstretch at Talledega at a sane, fuel-efficient 55 mph.
  
• Let's face it, Bush had hate radio and "fair and balanced" Fox pushing him during the entire campaign. To counteract the incessant bias of "Faux News," Democrats need to have their own media voice. I've got an idea -- why not line up three or four television network news organizations, a couple of weekly news magazines and a dozen or so major newspapers to run non-stop anti-GOP stories? I know it sounds crazy, but it just might work.
  

Barbecue Sandwich, Cole Slaw, and Sweet Tea

I didn't have time for my "Biscuits and Gravy" post this morning, so here's a lunchtime special.

John Ellis:

Old Spin: Band of Bigots. New Spin: Americans don't change their Commander in Chief in the middle of a war (Senator Chris Dodd on Imus this morning, explaining why President Bush won re-election).

American Digest:

M. Le Docteur: Oh yes, the, uh, the Arafat... What's,uh... What's wrong with him?

Mr. Hamas: I'll tell you what's wrong with him, my lad. 'E's dead, and I can't get anyone to sign this terrorist payroll, that's what's wrong with him!

M. Le Docteur: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

Mr. Hamas: Look, Froggy, I know a dead Arafat when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

M. Le Docteur: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable Arafat, the Arafat, idn'it, ay? Beautiful headgear, manly face stubble! A right shiny fellow once you get past the facial lesions.

Mr. Hamas: The face stubble don't enter into it. He's stone dead.

M. Le Docteur: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting

Senator John Edwards:

Historian Douglas Brinkley, author of a wartime biography of Kerry, cautioned that Kerry's diary included mention of a meeting with some North Vietnamese terrorists in Paris. Edwards was flabbergasted. "Let me get this straight," the senator said. "He met with terrorists? Oh, that's good."

Mayor Richard Daley of Chicago:

"When I see a guy like George Soros spending $33 million--why doesn't he get a life and give money for scholarships? Why doesn't he get a life and give money to [poor] people in communities? Just because you hate one individual--I really worry about that."

Rhonda Morton of Corning, NY:

Morton, who operates a communications firm and organizes the Peaceful Gathering coffeehouse series in Corning, has a plan to swing those nonvoters or non-Kerry voters into action.

"I feel like not only now do I have to save my own country, but I have to save the world from my country," she said. "My first thing is maybe we should move to the middle of the country and start educating people, getting the literacy rates up and get people to stop watching Fox TV."

Ron Schmidt of San Francisco, CA:

"I have family in Idaho, but I told my wife we're not going to visit them now. It's all Republicans there," said Ron Schmidt, a public relations executive. "We have family in Indiana and I don't want to go there either."
...
Schmidt said: "The ideologies of the two parties are too different. I don't see how healing can take place. I feel like the disenfranchised minority now, and that's a funny thing for a tall, good-looking white guy like me to say."

The Telegraph:

In 2000, Mr Moore's support for Ralph Nader helped lose Florida for Al Gore. This time, he boosted President Bush by outraging Middle America. Take a bow, Mike: you've done it again.

Today's Hoot!

Ace:

Dawn of the Dead

Saw the remake last night. Scared me to death.
...
In the old movies, they moved like Bob Shrums. Slow, lifeless, but inexorable.

Not these new guys.
...
The bastards move like Renaldo Nehemiah.

And when they eat Judy Woodruff. . .

Hoo boy. Very scary.

He has pictures.

Biscuits and gravy

PoliPundit:

Suck It Up And Take It Like A Mandate!

State Poll Results

Bailey overcomes dog bite to retain House seat

"I have no comment to the report that the dog crawled off and died because he bit a politician."

More Mark Steyn:

If you don't want to bother plowing your way through Alterman and Smiley, a placard prominently displayed by a fetching young lad at the post-election anti-Bush rally in San Francisco cut to the chase: "F--- MIDDLE AMERICA."

Almost right, man. It would be more accurate to say that "MIDDLE AMERICA" has "F---ed" you, and it will continue to do so every two years as long as Democrats insist that anyone who disagrees with them is, ipso facto, a simpleton -- or "Neanderthal," as Teresa Heinz Kerry described those unimpressed by her husband's foreign policy. In my time, I've known dukes, marquesses, earls, viscounts and other members of Britain's House of Lords and none of them had the contempt for the masses one routinely hears from America's coastal elites. And, in fairness to those ermined aristocrats, they could afford Dem-style contempt: A seat in the House of Lords is for life; a Senate seat in South Dakota isn't.

George Will:

"I think the Union army had something to do with it."
— Gen. George Pickett, years afterward, on why his charge at Gettysburg failed

John Kerry's liberalism had something to do with his defeat

It's a quagmire!:

The Security Council, which held an emergency meeting at France's request, condemned the attack on French forces and voiced support for French and UN forces in the former French colony.

Overnight Saturday, tens of thousands of young supporters of President Laurent Gbagbo marched on Abidjan airport, controlled by French forces since Saturday afternoon, and French helicopters fired warning shots to head them off.

Faced with an immense human tide, the French armed forces used 20mm cannon near the Houphouet-Boigny and Charles de Gaulle bridges linking the working-class and business districts with the airport.

State radio said three demonstrators were killed, while parliament speaker Mamadou Coulibaly told French public radio France Inter that 30 were shot dead.

Marine Staff Sergeant:

"We're not going into Falluja to give out fuzzy bears and warm hugs," he said.