No excrement, Sherlock!

Real funny, punk

Drudge broke the story of ABC Political Director Mark Halperin's memo to the "news" staff at ABC:

We have a responsibility to hold both sides accountable to the public interest, but that doesn't mean we reflexively and artificially hold both sides "equally" accountable...

I'm so surprised! Aside from his smarmy bias, the best part is Mark's way with "English:"

I do not want to set off and endless colloquy that none of us have time for today
...
Kerry distorts, takes out of context, and mistakes all the time, but these are not central to his efforts to win.

I guess you mistaked too, didn't you, Markie?

(Backup link: NY Post)

Not this nitwit again!

Remember the artiste with spelling problem? Well, the SF Chronicle informs us that Miffed artist doesn't want to correct misspellings - Muralist offended by 'nasty' criticism of Livermore piece:

The artist who created the now-infamous Livermore library mosaic that contains 11 misspellings says she no longer wants to fix it because of the "nasty messages from people who don't understand art."

Maria Alquilar, who complained that her name, too, was often misspelled, said she had been overwhelmed by dozens of phone calls and more than 1,000 e- mails since her errors -- from "Eistein" to "Shakespere" to "Michaelangelo" -- were widely publicized.

Fed up, Alquilar said Friday that she was reconsidering her decision to correct her work because the people of Livermore had been so mean.
...
The artist said the names were spelled correctly on her sketches, but she got them wrong as she was doing the piece. She admits noticing "Einstein" was misspelled but choosing to go forward anyway.

"I just wasn't that concerned," she said. "None of us are particularly good spellers anymore because of computers. When you are in a studio full of clay, you don't give it much thought.

At least she doesn't, I guess. Good thing she didn't get a big job like the Lincolln Memoriel.

Lots more hijinks by following the link, but here's a gem:

"When you look at Michelangelo's David, do you point out that one (testicle) is lower than the other?"

Somehow, I don't think Maria has much experience with the articles in question.

Then there's Lurch's other sister

If the bumptious Peggy Kerry wasn't enough, there is sister Diana who was telling the Aussies to vote appeasement in today's election:

As the head of Americans Overseas for Kerry, Diana Kerry is a campaign official. And she was speaking in that capacity when, in reference to the invasion of Iraq, she said, "Australia has kept faith with the U.S., and we are endangering the Australians now by this wanton disregard for international law and multilateral channels."

The Weekend Australian's Roy Eccleston, who broke the story, added: "Asked if she believed the terrorist threat to Australians was now greater because of the support for Republican George W. Bush, Ms. Kerry said: 'The most recent attack was on the Australian embassy in Jakarta--I would have to say that.'" She also mentioned the October 2002 bombing of two Bali nightclubs, in which many of the victims were young Australians.

Alert readers, including Amanda Sokolski on this magazine's website, quickly picked up on errors in Ms. Kerry's timeline. The Bali bombing took place long before Australia got mixed up with those nasty Americans and their "wanton disregard for international law." And the September 9 attack on the Australian embassy was perpetrated by Jemaah Islamiyah, al Qaeda's Southeast Asia franchise, which has considered Australia a target since well before the Iraq war.

Before she got the campaign gig, Diana was apparently an itinerant drama teacher and translator in foreign lands. The good news is that, unlike Diana, she's no longer feeding at the public trough:

She says she is only free to crisscross the globe because she was laid off from her public school job thanks to U.S. President George W. Bush's budget cuts.

Even better news is that the Australians are rejecting her sage counsel. Drop by Tim Blair's place where the commenters are live blogging John Howard's looming victory at the polls.

Euroweenie Alert!

It almost seems like someone at the EU actually picked up the clue phone! EU diplomat admits success of Israel wall:

The EU's representative in the Middle East has conceded that the controversial wall being built by Israel in the West Bank has stopped Palestinian extremists from carrying out suicide attacks in Israel.

His comments, made in an interview with Financial Times Deutschland, make him the first high-level EU diplomat to publicly say that the barrier has fulfilled its aim.

"The barrier has drastically sunk the number of attacks", said the Belgian diplomat.

But it's just a tease:

However, although he admitted that the number of attacks has fallen, he told FT Deutschland that it does not mean that he finds the wall good.

Mr Marc Otte said that the problems with the wall and international law remain.

It must be tough to be so nuanced that you can't stomp a cockroach without consulting five tomes of legalisms and holding endless committee meetings.

Ever wonder what John Kerry would look like if he had been born a girl?

Hmm, I don't see much difference!

The Inestimable Claire reminds us about ole Peggy Kerry, that faithful employee of the taxpayers ("nongovernmental organization (NGO) liaison at the U.S. Mission to the U.N") who's out working for brother Lurch.

I wonder what Osama thinks of Jehovah's Witnesses?

Allah has the snap. Michelle Malkin has the story. And here's the fun.

This is cool - I get to reuse all my old pictures

Gimme some cafe culture!

I think Drudge had it first, but here's the AFP report at Expatica - Chirac warns of 'catastrophe' of world 'choked' by US values:

French President Jacques Chirac warned Thursday of a "catastrophe" for global diversity if the United States' cultural hegemony goes unchallenged.

Speaking at a French cultural centre in Hanoi ahead of Friday's opening of a summit of European and Asian leaders, Chirac said France was right to stand up for cultural and linguistic diversity.

Good choice of location, Cheese Whiz.

The outspoken French president warned that the world's different cultures could be "choked" by US values.

Who has been force feeding them when I wasn't looking?

This, he said, would lead to a "general world sub-culture" based around the English language, which would be "a real ecological catastrophe".

I'm sure it made sense to him. Meanwhile, he also took the opportunity to demonstrate some more of those "French values:"

French President Jacques Chirac asked Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi not to be unduly concerned by France's push to lift the arms export ban on China by the European Union when they met in Hanoi on Friday.

"It's like this Junichiro. One of our major customers in the Mideast ran into a problem and we need someone else to provide us with some walking around money."

Gosh, the Frenchies' feathers are ruffled!

Wanna party, Big Boy?

France says US claims over Iraqi bribes 'unverified'. But here's a feel good note:

Mr. Maugein could not be reached for comment today, but earlier this year he responded to similar accusations by saying that all such payments were within the rules of the United Nations program.

That's rather what we suspected.

(Hat tip: UK Sun for the fetching illustration.)

Saddam just left the cash on the dresser

We know what Chirac is, the only question is the price. The hard part is figuring out what John Kerry is. But I've got a few words for it.

More here.

(Hat tip: Sacred Cow Burgers for Nuance Boy in his leisure outfit.)

Artsy Craftsy Alert!

Artist to fix mispellings of Livermore library mural:

LIVERMORE [California, home of a US national laboratory - ed.] – It didn't take a nuclear physicist to realize changes were needed after a $40,000 ceramic mural was unveiled outside the city's new library and everyone could see the misspelled names of Einstein, Shakespeare, Vincent Van Gogh, Michelangelo and seven other historical figures.

"Our library director is very frustrated that she has this lovely new library and it has all these misspellings in front," said city Councilwoman Lorraine Dietrich, one of three council members who voted Monday to authorize paying another $6,000, plus expenses, to fly the artist up from Miami to fix the errors.

Hey, mistakes will happen, but it seems like there were quite a few. Cut to the artiste:

Reached at her Miami studio Wednesday by The Associated Press, Maria Alquilar said she was willing to fix the brightly colored 16-foot-wide circular work, but offered no apologizes for the 11 misspellings among the 175 names.

"The importance of this work is that it is supposed to unite people," Alquilar said. "They are denigrating my work and the purpose of this work."
...
The mistakes wouldn't even register with a true artisan, Alquilar said.

"The people that are into humanities, and are into Blake's concept of enlightenment, they are not looking at the words," she said. "In their mind the words register correctly."

Thanks for clearing that up, Maria! We wouldn't want you enlightened types to strain yourself by actually looking something up when you don't have a clue.

The article also points to Maria's web site where you can find more of her musings and some snaps of the mural in question, although not the "good parts." However, there is a snappy rendition of Dan Rather.

I'm missing all the fun!

A personal project is keeping me busy for a few days. The japery will continue later in the week. In the meantime:

I always wondered how it was done!