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Saturday, September 18, 2004 And while we're discussing comedic potential Mark Steyn - CBS defense of Rather hints at bigger story : Of all the loopy statements made by Dan Rather in the 10 days since he decided to throw his career away, my favorite is this, from Dan's interview with the Washington Post on Thursday:And why's that? The only reasonable conclusion is that the source -- or trail of sources -- is even more incriminating than the fake documents. Why else would Heyward and Rather allow the CBS news division to commit slow, public suicide?Ah, the laughs have just started!
Yet another goofy "sports" photo-op It's not like Lurch doesn't have any advisors for his campaign: Across the wine-dark sea they come, honing Kerry's message. They come from Harvard, K Street and the studios of CNN. "Once more into the breach!" they cry, as they join the conference call of thousands.So who in the horde is responsible for these goofy sports photo-ops? The camera doesn't love Lurch and they're inevitably a source of japery. But I'm not complaining. I'm sure the best is yet to come! ![]() Ooooo! What an athlete! (Hat tip: FR)
Friday, September 17, 2004 You can't tell the players without a scorecard! Rathergate got you confused, Bucky? Unsure of how Captain Dan's little girl, Robin, fits in with Democrat Texas Supreme Court candidate David Van Os who's the lawyer for Bill "Kinkos" Burkett? Wondering how Lurch fits into the big picture? Well, wonder no more as Kevin explains it all. With friends like this, Lurch would have done better to just continue hanging around the mansions.
Angst among the wingnuts ![]() First left-hand threaded object - Steve Lopez, who "traveled with Gore four years ago for Time magazine and watched as he managed to blow a lifetime of breeding and experience" [what flavor, Steve? - ed.] and has a big sad on in the LA Times. Skipping the obligatory snarking about President Bush and those sneaky Republicans that prove that he is a member in good standing of the mainstream media, Steve's basic complaint is about Lurch: With only a month and a half before the election, the question is not whether George Bush showed up for National Guard duty 30 years ago, but whether John Kerry will show up for the rest of the campaign.Then a Freeper infiltrates a MoveOn/DNC event in the San Francisco Bay area. Conclusions: 1.) There is a great deal of conflict over whether the CBS memos were forged or not. It seems that a lot of hardcore liberals have accepted the fact that the documents were fake, but there are still some that are clinging on to the slightest shred of possibility that those memos were genuine as though their lives depended on it. Mentioning it in a room full of Democrats is like tossing a grenade, and they'll generate much heat arguing with each other.Aw, too bad! Although there's nothing that spells leftist fun more than a good purge of deviationists. But never count your crackpots until they're hatched.
Thursday, September 16, 2004 It's not dead, it's only resting! ![]() Chris Shugart - It’s the Dead Parrot, Stupid!: One of my favorite Monty Python episodes is the one where Michael Palin plays the blissfully-in-denial pet shop owner trying to convince dissatisfied customer John Cleese that a recently purchased parrot isn’t really dead. The sketch deteriorates hilariously as Palin tries to provide ridiculous evidence that the obviously dead parrot is absolutely alive.Captain Dan is "pining for the fjords" too.
Thanks, Sophie! Leave it to good ole Sophie Cannon to remind us benighted Americans what a vote for Lurch means - Iraq war illegal, says Annan. Thanks for thinking of us, Sophie, but if you want to worry about legalities, you better make sure your cover-up is in place on the Oil-for-Food scandal.
Smooth move, Lurch!
Can't a guy get a drink around here? Kennedy won't campaign for Kerry in our area after all: First, Ted was coming. Now, he's not.Shucks! Why's that? ... one source close to the Kerry campaign said the Kennedy visit to Nanticoke was a "done deal" as of Tuesday night.I always like to help, so here's a link for Lurch's campaign workers - Remembering Mary Jo.
Today's Hoot! RATHER BLAMES ROVE IN ROCKET-SKATE MISHAP NEW YORK - Veteran anchorman Dan Rather implicated White House Political Director Karl Rove as "the mastermind behind the so-called Acme Group" after his rocket-powered roller skates exploded during a Wednesday CBS Evening News investigative report.Much more by following the link. For those outside the USA, for whom this may be a tad obscure, go here: Rule 2: No outside force can harm the Coyote -- only his own ineptitude or the failure of Acme products. Wile E.'s ineptitude, possibly a by-product of his distracted obsession with catching Road Runner, is compounded only by the Acme company's products - which may work for other customers, but seem never to work for Wile E., who repeatedly risks life and limb counting on their effectiveness.Indeed.
Is this really the best they can do? ![]() First, CBS kept everyone waiting yesterday for some big press release about their "document investigation" and finally delivered a lame paragraph that they hadn't spell checked. (Maybe they need some Microsoft Word classes?) Then later in the evening, Captain Dan trots out the "Old Lady Defense" - an 86 year old former pool typist in the Texas Guard of the strictly Democrat persuasion who says that while the documents are certainly fake, they're uncannily accurate. That's a swell endorsement, but not to worry because ole Dan is going to keep on "investigating". Of course, he still hasn't run the interviews Mary Mapes already did with Killian's family that reveal that the forgeries aren't accurate at all. Allah has all the links, if you want to watch the hole get deeper. I guess CBS might well be the "platinum network" - there certainly is some really dense material between their ears.
Wednesday, September 15, 2004 And while we're having fun One time Gore campaign chairman, Tony Coehlo, had a public rant yesterday about the confusion at Lurch HQ. Aside from the slapstick comedy there was this line: “Here are two groups that have never gotten along and have fought, and it is a lot over money,” says Coehlo. "Because in the Democratic Party the consultants get paid for the creation and the placement of [advertising]. Republicans only pay you for the creation.”Hmmm, why does that sound familiar? I know! It's because that while Howard Dean's campaign went down the toilet, his campaign manager, Joe Trippi, made out like a bandit. And he worked without salary too, just like some of Lurch's new pals. Why does "the party of the people" always come up with these kinds of innovations?
Today's Hoot! More here and a hat tip to Claire at SondraK's place. UPDATE: There's even a t-shirt for Captain Dan!
"Whom the gods wish to destroy, they first drive mad" ![]() Styling! Get a load (and I do mean load) of Captain Dan, bloated with self-importance, pontifiicating to the New York Observer. He's really puzzled that anyone could get upset about a few forgeries when he has decreed that bigger questions are involved. But there's comedy too. According to Dan, "powerful and extremely well-financed forces are concentrating on questions about the documents." Sheesh, I hope my check is in the mail. UPDATE: QandO has a nice take on it: Now maybe its just me, but does it strike anyone else that what Rather is asking us to do is akin to finding an entry in the "Hitler Diaries" saying Dan's Mom had an ongoing relationship with Adolph and requiring poor Dan to forget the diaries are forgeries and answer the questions about the relationship?There's also a great suggestion for 60 Minutes (Sunday) to investigate 60 Minutes (Wednesday). What a ratings blockbuster it would be to have Mike Wallace jamming the microphone in Dan's face and asking him where he got the forgeries! UPDATE: Jonah Goldberg offers another analogy: Dan Rather says of the memos: "The longer we go without a denial of such things—this story is true."I think Dan is more likely a gerbil kind of guy.
Rocky! ![]() Matt Margolis - Economic Comparisons of August '96 and August '04: As John Kerry parades around the country talking down the economy to his supporters, the Bush-Cheney campaign has noted that the "same statistics Kerry campaigned on in 1996 are the same he rails against in 2004."Details here. Don't worry sports fans - that won't stop the Lurchster from repeating it mindlessly.
The CBS forgery plot thickens (Via FR) Nashville radio talk show may give us a clue about who had prior knowledge of the forged documents: The next question regarding the 60 Minutes fraud is: who gave the CBS show the bogus documents? Veteran Nashville broadcaster, Teddy Bart on his daily radio show, “Teddy Bart’s Roundtable” may have given us a clue about who knew about the documents nearly a month ago. It appears that Bob Tuke, who was a guest on the show on August 11th knew that something was about to happen with regard to President Bush’s alleged failure to show up for a physical examination.More by following the link, but here's ole Bob Tuke: “We may also know why Bush failed to show up for his medical exam that caused him to lose his flight status.” When pressed on his comment he said that, “The physical exam was scheduled for a couple of weeks after the Air Force changed its policy and decided to put drug testing into physical exams so now the speculation is out there about why would a person who has been serving for--supposedly serving for--three to four years in the Air National Guard as a pilot fail to show up for a physical so that he could maintain his flight certification status? Why?”Maybe Tuke has an Ouija board?
Ruh Oh! There are rumors (via Fox News) that CBS will issue a statement this morning concerning the documents. I'm betting on continued stonewalling. John Ellis describes why they have to and Beldar notes that since they knew the documents were bogus, they are co-conspirators in the fraud. That high-pitched whine you hear is Edward R. Murrow spinning in his grave.
Even forgers are dissing Captain Dan CATCH THIS IF YOU CAN, DAN: FORGER CRIES HOAX: A master forger-turned-crimebuster who has taken a look at CBS anchor Dan Rather's documents about President Bush's National Guard service says they're such obvious fakes that they're a joke.
Just Damn! I am going to actually say some nice things about the mainstream media! Brian Ross at ABC does some of that icky work stuff and discovers that Captain Dan and the CBS team had been told the documents were fake, but went ahead with the story anyway. He does that by digging up the document examiners that CBS hired and ignored when they didn't provide the desired results: "I told them that all the questions I was asking them on Tuesday night, they were going to be asked by hundreds of other document examiners on Thursday if they ran that story,"Indeed! Howard Kurtz had a similar story at the WaPo. Meanwhile, yesterday was day two of the Kitty Kelly slimefest on The Today Show and she also had a gig with Chris Matthews. I didn't see either, but here's a first hand account: Those who watched Matt Lauer's interview of Kitty Kelley over the last two mornings on The Today Show, or read our threads about them, know that his tone and approach were surprisingly hostile.I can't get anyone to go on the record saying that Kitty used to do a donkey act in a Tijuana "nightspot". That must show how powerful she is! I guess when the chips are down even the mainstream media gets a tad squeamish about outright balderdash.
Tuesday, September 14, 2004 Lock up your womenfolk and hide the liquor! Kennedy to Hit Campaign Trail for Kerry : Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, often credited with giving a boost to John Kerry's presidential campaign, is launching a seven-week election drive for his Massachusetts colleague that will pair fund raising and travel with a barrage of speeches condemning President Bush's policies.Oh yeah, that ought to help.
Who says Lurch is just a pretty face? ![]() From Kerry's Time interview via James Taranto. Nice haircut, though.
Someone explain "sunk costs" to Terry ![]() Likely Bedfellows - If it's good enough for 60 Minutes, it's good enough for the DNC A NEW attack ad from the Democratic National Committee features footage lifted from the much-disputed 60 Minutes segment aired by CBS News last Wednesday...Republican response: "The video the Democrats released today is as creative and accurate as the memos they gave CBS.”Bwahaha!
Today's Hoot! From American Digest: A full soliloquy by following the link. And while you're there, check out this trip down memory lane with the usual suspects at CBS.
"Buddy, can you spare a tin foil beanie?" Because ole Keith Olberman needs one: Olbermann Lays Out Right-Wing Conspiracy Behind Faked MemosBesides Keith and Dan Rather? I guess you have to be a Democrat to criticize blatant forgeries. Or create good forgeries, for that matter: Turning to Craig Crawford of Congressional Quarterly and CBS News, Olbermann suggested that if Bush opponents had created the memos they would have done a better job of forgery: "Wouldn't somebody faking this to try to hurt Mr. Bush have to think about, at least, the, you know, the type faces that would identify this as a 2004 document as opposed to a 1992 document, or 1972 document, and more importantly, the out-of-date references to the retired colonel? Who would, who, sophisticatedly would leave that stuff in this?"But not to worry, the rocket scientist finished strong: "Am I out on my own on this, though, Craig? Are you going to join me out here in science fiction land?"Make sure there is a double layer of tin foil in that beanie. If Keith didn't have need of a beanie, he would realize the real question is how could Dan Rather have been so blinded by his bias that he got conned by such an inept forger? Maybe when Dan tells us the source of the documents, we'll have the answer. C'mon Captain Dan, 'fess up!
I'm shocked! Shocked, I tell ya! The Note has the scoop on the first day of Kitty Kelley's star turn on the The Today Show (scroll down to "Here Kitty, Kitty"): On Today today, Kelley appeared at 7:30, and Matt Lauer made the segment much more about the author's credibility than about her charges — sort of begging the question about why have her on once, let alone three days.Well, there are two more days to make up for it. Meanwhile, Florida Cracker notes: According to Kitty Kelley's new book, Barbara Bush had the audacity to refuse to shake Jane Fonda's hand. Strangely enough, this is put forth as being a bad thing.Too bad Barbara didn't put a boot print on Jane's fanny.
Monday, September 13, 2004 Looks like an evil Assault Weapon to me! This is just the kind of sophisticated weaponry that terrorists are coming to the USA to buy. Right, Lurch?
Today's Hoot! From Crush Kerry: The CBS Evening News Website asks its viewers if they "Know of a scam that needs investigating?", and if so to email them for investigation. Um ... yes. As a matter of fact we do.Keep those cards and letters coming!
Al throws his beanie in the ring ![]() Gore Unleashes Fury on Democrats' Behalf: When Gore delivered his latest-in-a-series slam at the Republicans last week, faulting Vice President Dick Cheney for "sleazy and despicable" criticism of the Democrats, a White House spokesman dismissively responded: "Consider the source."Hey, no one sent me my shirt or the secret decoder ring! GOP strategist Keith Appell likens him to "some kind of cheerleader on acid."It's because he keeps forgetting to leave his beanie on!
"Being Dan Rather means never having to say your sources" My apologies to Love Story, but that's just what Captain Dan is having with himself. Cut to the aging megalomaniac: "Until someone shows me definitive proof that they are not, I don't see any reason to carry on a conversation with the professional rumor mill," the CBS anchor said.Sheesh! Someone explain the burden of proof to ole Dan. Cox and Forkum got it exactly right: ![]() Meanwhile back at CBS HQ, the Washington Prowler tells us that things aren't going so well: While CBS news anchor Dan Rather can say there is no internal investigation under way over the alleged forged documents used as the foundation for an investigation into President George W. Bush's National Guard service, you wouldn't have been able to tell from the 15 or so 60 Minutes and CBS News" staffers working away feverishly on Friday and Saturday to try to nail down their story.Nice tight ship they run over there. Hey, just ask Lurch's team to send over another set! If there's a problem, they can always just type up some more. Preferably matching the ones CBS already has, of course. Hey, they seem to have been forged to order anyhow: But we know that a lot of people here interviewed a lot of people in Texas and elsewhere and asked very explicit questions about the existence of these memos. Then all of a sudden they show up? In one nice, neat package?"Much more by following the link including another appearance by "air combat ace", Tom Harkin.
Sunday, September 12, 2004 Rather Lied and Kerry Died. Rodger has been doing more photo digging. Yesterday, he found out where Lurch was hiding from the press.
Buh Bye, Dan! After reading Joseph Newcomer's assessment, Allah says "Game over, man." My favorite part: The probability that any technology in existence in 1972 would be capable of producing a document that is nearly pixel-compatible with Microsoft’s Times New Roman font and the formatting of Microsoft Word, and that such technology was in casual use at the Texas Air National Guard, is so vanishingly small as to be indistinguishable from zero.Which is the crux of the matter in all the typography arguments, of course. Then there are the oddities with the contents. Even the NY Times is on that. CBS has got zip except that the documents reinforced their pre-existing opinion so therefore must be real. From tomorrow's Investor's Business Daily: And could it be that CBS and Rather let their well-documented political leanings overrule their journalistic sense? Have they become just another hack voice in the political game?You can't cheat an honest man, so I guess we know where that leaves Captain Dan and his little pals like Mary Mapes. Dan, it's time for you to do the honorable thing, if you still remember how. Resign.
Today's Hoot! If CBS weren't spending so much on Dan Rather's hairdo, they could have bought the right software for the job - MS Forger.
Kitty's got a big surprise for us! ![]() Don't forget, kids! Tomorrow's the kickoff of Kitty Kelley's 3 day slimefest on The Today Show. NBC must be feeling left out that CBS is getting all the heat. Meanwhile Kitty's publisher, Doubleday, is all cranky: The publisher of Kitty Kelley's controversial new biography of the Bush family has accused Newsweek of allegedly violating a prepublication agreement and said the magazine owed "substantial damages."Well, that's easily solved. A one sentence article: Kitty Kelley misses the litter box and soils herself.Time to fire up your IBM Selectric Composers for some letters to NBC and Random House. (Hat tip for the fetching snap: FR poster Henry Krinkle)
Don't quit your day job, Lurch! ![]() You ever wonder what Lurch will do if he loses the election? He's so bored with the Senate that he rarely shows up, and the surf and slopes can't always be right for extreme sports in goofy outfits. How about the comedy circuit? Jeff Jacoby has some some samples: For some reason people are forever commenting on how dour and stiff Kerry is. But it's a bum rap. As anyone who has followed his career knows, the guy's a regular Jackie Mason.He better not divorce Teresa just yet.
Trolling for Wingnuts ![]() Ace has his siren up on Source for the Forged Documents Unmasked? and all signs are pointing to well known wingnut, Bill Burkett, who previously claimed to have found all sorts of stuff in a dumpster and has been shopping his stories around for years. Hit the link for the details, but here's the part I like from a Newsweek article: Burkett was impressive enough to cause CBS producer Mary Mapes to fly to Texas to interview him.Mary Mapes. Where have I heard that name before? Cut to Allah: And speaking of which, Michele just e-mailed me some information she heard on Sean Hannity's radio show today. Here's how scrupulous Rather is:(My emphasis.) No wonder ole wingnut Bill sounded so "impressive" to Mary. Sounds like that CBS impartiality we know so well - dig deep under rocks for disreputable wingnuts that fit the bias and filter out any hints of rationality that threaten the theme. But there's good news for Captain Dan: You have a fall girl![Hannity] had on both [Ben] Barnes' daughter -who admitted she was being pressured to recant everything she said yesterday - and Killian's son, who said - get this - that CBS interviewed both him and his stepmother prior to the airing of the 60 minutes show. They BOTH told the interviewer (somebody named Mapes, a female) that they didn't believe the documents could be real. They both refuted that their father had anything to do with this. They gave a myriad of reasons why they don't believe any of it. Of course, it's not like this is an unfamiliar occurrence at 60 Minutes. How about this beauty from the nutsos at the "Veterans for Peace" website (hat tip FR): Date: Mon Jun 14, 2004 1:25 pmBased on the linked web sites, I'd say the folks at 60 Minutes probably enjoyed the fishing. Update: Captain Ed caught a different 60 Minutes producer fishing in the pond scum.
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