Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Hey, this is just as believeable

Kerry Camp Defends Tale of Xmas Mission to Island of Misfit Toys
In a later recollection during a 1991 Senate floor speech denouncing the Gulf War, Kerry said he was recruited for the secret holiday mission during a Bob Hope USO Christmas special.

"Hope was Nixon's shadow CIA station chief in Saigon," said Kerry. "During a skit with Phyllis Diller, he blinked a morse code message that I was to take his covert bikini go-go girl assassination squad to the Arctic to take out the a nest of Khmer Blanc."

The illegal mission was "seared, seared into my memory," said Kerry, who used it as an example of how war corrupts government officials.

"There I was, strafing helpless misfit toys with Joey Heatherton, Jill St. John, Lola Falana and Raquel Welch," said Kerry. "Our fire dispersed the insurgents, and I could have shot several of the fleeing toys in the back, but I didn't. Down in Saigon they say, my small heart grew three sizes that day."

In a 2003 Washington Post profile, Kerry even displayed a souvenir from the mission.

"Who told you about this? Even my friends don't know about it," said Kerry, pulling a musty fur bikini top from a secret compartment in his attache case. Kerry said it was "a good luck charm" given to him by covert CIA agent Nancy Sinatra.

Putting on the bra, Kerry formed his hands into pantomime guns.

"Pow! Kapow! k-k-k-k-brrrudda brrrudda shpeww!" he added, blowing imaginary smoke from his fingertips.
It's Iowahawk.