Help the veracity challenged!

In the previous posts I've been trying to help Lurch out with a better Christmas story than he seems able to come up with on his own. Now over at Mudville Gazette, Greyhawk is holding the First Annual John Kerry Fan Fiction Contest. (Surely he means Nonfiction!) In any case, here's part of the first entry:

The fog was thick as pea soup as we made our way across the border, but it muffled the sounds of the boat as we entered Cambodia. That was good, because our business there was anything but good.

"I wish you'd take that damn blindfold off." I whispered to the skipper.

"I learned to sail this way, hombre." He replied. His parrot sat silently on his shoulder. The bird spoke three languages but was not using any of them now.