Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Another episode of Snaggletooth and the Mozambique Hottie

Lurch took some time off from his busy schedule to have his teeth fixed:
Despite a temporary loss of wrinkles, Senator John Kerry denied claims earlier this year that he underwent Botox treatments. But there's no denying the aftereffects of a piece of cosmetic work he had done yesterday. The presumptive Democratic presidential nominee emerged from a morning of seclusion in Washington with two new pearly-white-capped teeth at a airport rally in Atlantic City. The noticeably improved smile is not only bright, it corrects the angled teeth and one prior miscolored cap.
...
Other than that, the aides insist he had his teeth cleaned but not whitened. Still, the high-wattage smile was apparent as Kerry headed off by helicopter for a fund-raiser at the home of rock star Jon Bon Jovi, himself the veteran of a canine cap job.
The wags at FR suggest that he's spent more time this year on his appearance than appearing in the Senate. Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney agrees - he's asked Lurch to resign:
The Romney administration called Tuesday for Massachusetts Sen. John Kerry to resign while he runs for president, saying he's had an abysmal attendance record since launching his campaign last year and is not adequately representing his constituents.

Lt. Gov. Kerry Healey, a Republican, said Kerry has missed 64 percent of last year's roll call votes and 87 percent this year, including a vote on banning Internet child pornography.

He also missed a vote on extending unemployment insurance benefits, which was defeated by one vote.

"It's not fair, it's not right and the public is not being well-served," said Healey, who said she was acting on behalf of Gov. Mitt Romney. "I'm calling on John Kerry to resign so that we can fill that office with someone who is 100 percent devoted to the job of representing the people of Massachusetts."
Meanwhile, Lurch's little lady stuns with "I'm one very sexy senior":
Kerry's wife, Teresa Heinz Kerry, touts herself as "sexy" and "cheeky" in an interview being broadcast tonight.
...
Her comments were sparked by her husband's description of her as "saucy, sexy, brilliant."
Rich too, eh, Romeo?
Mrs. Kerry has spoken publicly of her fondness for Botox injections to smooth her wrinkles, a revelation that fueled rumors that her husband, 60, had used Botox, too. He denied it.

Mrs. Kerry is worth an estimated $550 million as ketchup heiress via her late first husband, Sen. John Heinz (R-Pa.). And she repeats her refusal to release her full tax returns.
Even if she's rich, she ought to ask for her Botox bucks back:

Teresa Kerry, the Mozambique hottie

It obviously isn't working too well and then she could afford more websites supporting Hezbollah terrorists.