Tuesday, April 06, 2004

"Quick, check all the bars!"

Apparently that old rumpot, Ted Kennedy, got away from his handlers yesterday and staggered into the Brookings Institution for a rant:
Democratic candidate John Kerry's chief surrogate, Sen. Ted Kennedy, accused President Bush of having the largest "credibility gap" since former President Richard Nixon.
Bwahaha! When Ted's in his cups it's always a hoot, but you know your campaign is in trouble when you have to make him your "chief surrogate." I hope Lurch made it real clear that the job doesn't cover Teresa too!
Bush "has broken the basic bond of trust with the American people. He's the problem, not the solution. Iraq is George Bush's Vietnam, and this country needs a new president," Kennedy, D-Mass., told an audience at the Brookings Institution.

Kennedy attacked the administration on the war in Iraq, a war he has said was predicated on a fraud devised to help Republicans in the 2002 and 2004 elections and divert attention from "the administration's deceptions here at home."
Kennedy and Vietnam - it does have a certain ring to it. And a conspiracy theory is always nice too!

After startling the wonkish crowd at Brookings, ole Ted then staggered into a TV studio where he remotely chatted up Larry King:
I believe that there is no way that this administration can develop the confidence internationally from any of the neighboring states in order to be able to build the kind of a policy where we could see the United States see a free and developed, independent Iraq and American forces brought home.

I think you -- there is no credibility left for this administration, and that part of the world needs a change.
Hmm, why not send Ted to Iran to enhance our credibility in the "neighboring states?" Maybe he can go bar hopping with the mullahs?

Speaking of credibility, over on FR a poster observed: "It took the 3rd ID and Marines less time to take out the Medina division of the vaunted Republican Guard than it took Ted Kennedy to notify the police about his accident." But you have to admire Ted's chutzpah:
It's not in his book, but Brinkley learned in his research of a time in recent years when the senators shared a limousine along with Kennedy's ever-present companion, Splash, a Portuguese water dog.
Suave of him not to name the pooch, "Glug Glug."
When they stopped at a rest area on the Massachusetts Turnpike, Kennedy said his back hurt and asked Kerry to give his dog a little exercise. Kerry reluctantly confirms the story. "We got out, and I gave the dog a run and was throwing some tennis balls for him," the would-be president recalls.
Some things never change. Hey Lurch! Fetch!