Thursday, April 01, 2004

April Foolery starring the April Fool

Allah has another photo montage starring Lurch and all the usual suspects. My favorite is the one where Lurch is making googoo eyes at the Mozambique Hottie:
Lurch: *Psst.* Remember when Mr. Roboto went tonsils-deep on Tipper at the 2000 Convention? What do you say, babe?

Mozambique Hottie: Do it to me, Johnny 'Nam! Eat that face like you're Hannibal Lecter!
Followed by the obligatory snogging attack:
Lurch: Hello, Clarice!
Since the Democrat presidential campaign playbook seems to require frequent and prolonged public liplocks on your significant other, I can hardly wait until they run their first gay candidate.

And speaking of class acts, did you catch Lurch's visit to Hollyweird?
Some of Tinseltown's biggest armchair radicals helped John Kerry rake in more than $3 million yesterday in a Bush-bashing extravaganza of venom.

Old folkie James Taylor and "Curb Your Enthusiasm" star Larry David entertained such limousine leftists as Barbra Streisand, Jennifer Aniston, Leonardo DiCaprio, Kevin Costner, Danny DeVito, Meg Ryan, Jason Alexander, Lucy Liu, Ted Danson, Mary Steenburgen, Christina Applegate, Oliver Stone, Dustin Hoffman, Anjelica Huston, Sharon Stone and Paramount studio boss Sherry Lansing.

David said Kerry should consider him for vice president because he deemed himself "a nincompoop, a chicken and a liar" who could offset President Bush and balance the ticket. The cable star said the only problem was that if something were to happen to Kerry, those qualities "would obviously be disastrous for anyone who was actually the president."

The crowd in Beverly Hills tittered as Kerry responded, "You are qualified to be a Republican."
Not only does he speak French, but he's a master of repartee!
Funniest comment of the night: Kerry told his fellow millionaires that "we are coming together from all walks of life."
Bwahaha! From another article:
At the $1,000-a-plate dinner hosted by grocery mogul Ron Burkle at his Green Acres estate in Beverly Hills, more than 1,500 people swarmed the event, which, according to officials, took in $3.2 million for the Kerry campaign and an additional $1 million for the Democratic National Committee.

However, from the moment cars were parked at the Beverly Hills shuttle pickup, guests were met with gridlock: hourlong lines, inaccessible buffets and bars, crushing crowds and general understaffing.

During the exodus out of Green Acres, the event reached a nadir when, in a frenzied rush to find an available shuttle, one Kerry supporter shouted, "That's why we are not running the country because we can't even organize a party."