Fools rush in...

Anchoring the DNC: The Osbourne family?

Tom Brokaw and Dan Rather may find themselves covering the Democratic National Convention from the FleetCenter's cheap seats.

Hollywood-savvy Dems looking ``to follow the trend of television'' and generate ratings heat for Sen. John F. Kerry, their presidential nominee heir apparent, are wooing hip networks such as MTV, Comedy Central and the Black Entertainment Channel.

``It's where young people tell us they're getting their news these days, be it MTV or Jay Leno,'' convention spokeswoman Peggy Wilhide said yesterday at a press briefing on all things DNC.

Earth to Peggy: folks who get their "news" from MTV aren't going to be spending much time watching the ponderous foolishness of a Democrat convention. Even Comedy Central would have a hard time filtering the undeniable laughs from the tedium. Hmm, maybe she could get Janet Jackson to show her chest!

Transportation logistics for the convention, which takes place July 26-29, will be made public later this week, said Superintendent Robert Dunford, head of security planning for the Boston Police Department.

Dunford warned drivers should expect some road closures and parking restrictions around the FleetCenter, but quipped, ``It's a Democratic group coming in, so we have to leave Hooters open.''

Now we're talking some sensible planning.