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Saturday, March 22, 2003 Today's Hoot! The Good Professor's post on Kurds Hemmed in by Turds reminds me of a meeting I attended more years ago than I care to remember. It was way past the end of a normal day and everyone was punchy. Then a gentleman making a presentation put up a slide which informed the audience that in order to accomplish a particular task, he needed "3 extra shifts per week". The exercise of determining which letter he left out of "shift" is left to the reader. It certainly had an ennervating effect on the audience. On the other hand, I can think of some people for whom 3 extra "shifts" per week might prove salubrious in view of the excess quantities of that particular substance contained within their persons.
The usual idiots Repulsive Clinton butt girl, Eleanor Clift, has weighed in with the official leftist spin. You don't need to follow the link - in a nutshell her whine is that: Eleanor's chagrin about rodent boy reflects that of her masters in the Democrat leadership who had scripted his bloviations: Sen. Tom Daschle's criticism of President Bush and his administration dusted up more controversy than the Democratic leader expected, in part because the polling the Democrats had done leading up to Daschle's comments indicated that his language would fly.No excrement, Sherlock. Meanwhile, Tommy got into another mixup (courtesy of Registered):
Why indeed? Charles Krauthammer in the Washington Post says to President Bush, Don't Go Back to the U.N.: No one knows when this war will end. But when it does, you'll have to decide the terms. Yet in the past few days both you and Tony Blair have said you will seek a new U.N. resolution, postwar, providing for the governance of Iraq.Mr. Krauthammer provides a refined assessment. I'm just an old country boy and prefer the sentiment in this oft linked picture:
Other unfinished business Bill Gertz in the Washington Times - Team to search for pilot lost since first Gulf war: Defense and intelligence agencies have formed a special unit that will go into Iraq to search for Capt. Michael Scott Speicher, a missing U.S. Navy pilot believed to have been held captive in Iraq since 1991.And when they track down the thugs that have held him captive, it's time for a lamp post and a long rope. If they haven't already received a bunker buster up their ventral orifice.
Who'd a thunk it? In the Guardian of all places, James Meek provides 'You're late. What took you so long? God help you become victorious' : Afraid that the US and Britain will abandon them, the people of Safwan did not touch the portraits and murals of Saddam Hussein hanging everywhere. It was left to the marines to tear them down. It did not mean there was not heartfelt gladness at the marines' arrival. Ajami Saadoun Khlis, whose son and brother were executed under the Saddam regime, sobbed like a child on the shoulder of the Guardian's Egyptian translator. He mopped the tears but they kept coming.The way the people of southern Iraq were abandoned to Saddam's thuggery in the UN organized "cease fire" after the first Gulf War was a digusting disgrace. I trust we will not make the same mistake again.
Friday, March 21, 2003 Bog of War Alert! Mark Steyn in the Telegraph: Back in Baghdad, the Independent's Robert Fisk told his readers on Thursday: "At the Alastrabak grocery store, I bought 25 loo rolls."But aside from the yucks, Mark raises some interesting points, among which was: It's interesting how much was clarified in the first hours of the war. On Thursday, the Palestine Liberation Front released a statement announcing the identity of the first verified casualty: PLF "1st Lieutenant" Ahmed Walid Raguib al-Baz was killed in Baghdad, "while confronting the treacherous US air bombardment on Iraq".Actually that's pretty funny too. In case you don't remember: The PLF is the terrorist group that, among other triumphs, hijacked the Achille Lauro back in the 1980s and pushed Leon Klinghoffer, a wheelchair-bound American Jew, into the Mediterranean.
Away from the main action Fred Francis on NBC reported that he saw "nine or 10 huge explosions" destroy the training camp of the Al Qaeda operation, Ansar al-Islam, in Northern Iraq. It must suck to be Al Qaeda.
Hot time in the old town tonight? The broadcast networks are claiming that "Shock and Awe" has started. Venkman: "Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown!"
I'm so upset! Jackanapes still doesn't get it - FRANCE THREATENS NEW UN VETO: France would block any UN resolution giving the US and Britain the power of administration in Iraq, French President Jacques Chirac has declared.
Someone's confused! You truly can't make this stuff up: Activists from several Michiana churches gathered Thursday afternoon to protest the U.S. military action against Iraq.Perhaps a bunker buster will clarify things for him and for Elise?
Guessing Game Alert Everyone's doing it. Knute Royce in Newsday reports the strike on the conclave of Saddam and his homeboys injured Saddam but took out number 2 son, Qusay, and moustache curser, Izzat Ibrahim. ABC News is running with: ABCNEWS has learned that witnesses at the site of a Baghdad suburban residential complex on Wednesday night have told U.S. intelligence officials that Saddam was observed being taken from the bombed complex on a stretcher, with an oxygen mask over his face.There are also foreign news reports that number 1 son, Uday, had a brain hemorrhage. Unlike malignant dwarf, Tommy Daschle, I am not deeply saddened.
The Armor is on the Move ... to the Oscars The Hollyweird celebs are apparently a tad nervous as the AFP relates in Armoured limos for Oscars: Police sources said security for Sunday's planned Oscars ceremony will be the tightest and most far-reaching in the Academy Awards' 75-year history, as the United States pushes ahead with its invasion of Iraq.Unfortunately, all the trappings won't raise their IQ's.
Peddling it on the street Seeing ole Jacques' fetching outfit in the previous post reminded us of French and Germans in £1.7bn trade with Iraq The figures show that since 1997, France and Germany have exported goods worth more than £1.7 billion to Iraq, compared to British exports worth £193 million.And William Safire continues holding the Frenchies' feet to the fire for their arming of Saddam's terror regime in French Connection II: When Christiane Amanpour asked President Jacques Chirac about it on CBS's "60 Minutes," he replied: "Because The New York Times is a serious newspaper, as soon as I read this I ordered an inquiry. I can now confirm officially, after an inquiry by the French foreign ministry, France and French companies have never endorsed or even provided such material to Iraq. So I am clearly denying this allegation."Geez, you'd think Jacques was a lying whore. Our Euroweenie pals are even going to get a bennie from the war itself as Mark Landler from the NY Times relates in For France and Germany, the benefits of war: As the war that so bitterly divided Europe finally got underway, Europeans spent Thursday debating how it might affect their economies, with some experts noting that France and Germany could end up benefiting most from the conflict they opposed.To paraphrase the old joke, "We know what they are, but we're just establishing the price."
Thursday, March 20, 2003 Better get a new double! Reuters amuses with Saddam Curses U.S.-Led Attackers. Hmm, let's see if he mentions our moustaches: President Saddam Hussein was quoted on Friday as cursing U.S.-led attackers and saying God would help Iraq stand firm against an invasion launched overnight from Kuwait.Ye doggies! "We have found what God promised us and what he promised the believers...the ability to hold steadfast and resist in defense of justice and what is right.""Loser friends"? No word on whether he also said "Gag me with a spoon."
Gotcha! Free Republic poster Sloth has conclusively identified the double used in the purported Saddam video: Which reminds me. Another poster on Free Republic asked today what Saddam's doubles do when they aren't filling in for the Big Boy. Do they have regular jobs or do they just hang out? I think it must be the latter, because it would be rather jarring to have your waiter or accountant or taxi driver look like Saddam. I also can't help but wonder if they have families. The other kids at school sure wouldn't give you any guff if your Dad was the spitting image of a barking mad dictator! UPDATE: Dang it! Terpsboy beat me to it, but he has his own theory. It involves toilet paper.
I'm shocked, I tell ya! Iraq Destroys Prohibited Scud Missile: Today in Kuwait, Iraq destroyed one of its prohibited Scud missiles during the first day of a US-led disarmament program.It's the Skeptician.
Light Duty Alert! Saddam's navy: Rusting on the Italian Riviera from Chris Wattle in the National Post: The largest, best and perhaps the last two ships of the Iraqi navy are tied up at a dock on the Italian Riviera, where they and their crews have been impounded since at least the last Gulf War.Well it beats meeting a bunker buster up close and personal.
Today's Hoot! Liane Bonin at Entertainment Weekly provides Jerry Rigged: A Jerry Lewis hoax fools French President Chirac. A Los Angeles radio DJ posing as the American comedian discusses the war in Iraq with France's leader.Follow the link for the hijinks, but I liked this part: Chirac also expressed appreciation for at least one of Bush's prewar tactics: ''Without the boys [the military] sent over there, we would not have had the result of Saddam accepting to disarm. But now that we've achieved that, we can avoid war. The United States has to be very careful, because if people hold this against them, it's not good for the equilibrium of the world.''Jackanapes is even a bigger idiot than I had guessed.
Candygram! The limited strike last night was apparently to take out Saddam and a few of his cronies. The results aren't clear but a somewhat dubious tape of Saddam showed up on Iraqi TV a few hours later. You decide if it looks like our old pal:
The real party starts later. Be there or be square.
Wednesday, March 19, 2003 Maybe it's the pervs! Bugging Devices Found in EU Offices BRUSSELS, Belgium - Electronic bugging devices were found in offices used by several countries, including France and Germany, in a building where a European Union (news - web sites) summit will open Thursday, EU officials said.OK, Gerhard, Jacques! Whose X10 wireless cameras are these?
We have a contender! Iraq War Protester Dies in Golden Gate Bridge Fall A man protesting the looming U.S. war on Iraq fell to his death from San Francisco's famed Golden Gate Bridge on Wednesday as he was hanging a banner, officials said.Wait, stop, don't!
Today's Hoot! Protester picks wrong spot to lock himself A man spent hours chained to the wrong building Tuesday in an ill-planned effort to protest war with Iraq, police said.
Do what I say or the clown gets it! He's more than a few fries short of a Happy Meal.
The Usual Idiots Sheryl "Chest for Brains" Crow apparently took a page from Babs' book and posted some bloviations on Iraq on her fan website. After Drudge linked it, it mysteriously disappeared, but still lives on in the Google cache (which Drudge has now linked). There are many questions that beg to be asked. Some are being asked rhetorically by many journalists, including a great writer at the New York Times by the name of Daniel Friedman.Drudge says "Sorry, Thomas". Gawd, she even writes in the same earnest 5th grader style that Babs uses. (Yeah, I know they both likely have someone on the payroll to churn the stuff out, but they sign it.) In a further shocker, the Vichy Chicks' manager, Simon Renshaw, is apparently telling Country Music radio stations that the Chicks are victims of a right wing conspiracy. That's what their manager, Simon Renshaw, has told country music stations being pressured to drop the Chicks' music after lead singer Natalie Maines criticized President Bush last week.Brainiac's background: Simon Renshaw, a manager at the Firm, which represents such acts as the Dixie Chicks, Korn and Limp Bizkit.After Simon gets his designer tin foil beanie fitted, maybe he'll take a look at the demographics of the Chicks' former audience and figure out that they differ a bit from Limp Bizkit fans. Of course, after taking a 5 megaton hit in the wallet, I expect Simon would say anything.
Tuesday, March 18, 2003 Another hoot! Someone felt the need for a press release: The Only Thing French About French's(R) Mustard Is The Name!
My, my
Not far from the ruins of the World Trade Center and with the NYPD and diplomatic immunity to protect him, Iraq Envoy: No Safe Place for Americans in War Iraq's U.N. ambassador said on Tuesday that no place would be safe for Americans if the United States launched a war against Baghdad.You sweet talker, you. UPDATE: LGF points to an even better picture.
High Pitched Whines News from the land of waffles -Iraqis sue over first Gulf War: SEVEN Iraqi families have filed a lawsuit against former US president George Bush, father of the current president, and three other US leaders for alleged crimes during the first Gulf War in 1991, a lawmaker said.Er, Patrick, I have your lawsuit right here. Saving the best for last, Moore goes gunning for Sony: PORCINE provocateur Michael Moore is howling that the Oscars are fixed.I wonder if he would like some donuts with his whine?
Old Fool Alert! No it isn't Jimmy Carter, but that's close. Crazy Uncle Wally has piped up with more of his great insights: KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- A U.S. invasion of Iraq would destroy the United Nations, former CBS anchorman Walter Cronkite said.After all these years, he still hasn't got a clue.
Today's Hoot! Lloyd Grove in the Washington Post: Guests at Mark and Ali Russell's annual St. Patrick's Day house party were charmed Sunday by 79-year-old Lenora Tomalin, a feisty supporter of President Bush and his take-no-prisoners stance toward Iraq's Saddam Hussein.Ruh Oh! "I am a conservative. I voted for George W. Bush and I simply agree with most everything he has said," Tomalin told us yesterday from the Northern Virginia home of keyboardist John Carroll, her son-in-law, and daughter Meredith Carroll, one of Sarandon's eight siblings. "It's not that I'm pro-war. It's just that I think that I trust my government more than I would empathize with the government of Iraq."Free Jack Henry! I should think so! But it's a good thing she won't see the men's room.
Poodle Alert! Bill Hoffmann reports in the NY Post that Pretzel Plea is French Twist-ed: March 18, 2003 -- Now the French are making it personal - urging people to send pretzels to President Bush, in the apparent hope he'll choke to death.Those Frenchies sure are a hoot!
You got it, pal William Hague in The Spectator: This surely is the crucial point. Americans are not warlike people, but they will now go after rogue states and terrorists because, if they don’t, no one else will. All over the world, America takes on responsibilities because others shirk them. They got involved in Kosovo because Europeans had neither the means nor the ability to sort it out. They pursue a ‘one-sided’ policy on Israel because without it the Jews would be driven into the sea. They need a huge increase in military spending partly because France, Germany and others are not prepared to spend a penny more themselves.Once again the Anglosphere has to clean up after the children.
Monday, March 17, 2003 Good Riddance And there are going to be lots more opportunities for demonstrating Darwinism in action:
Pond Scum Brian Sayre at Frontpage Magazine discusses the Leftwing "Peace" Saboteurs: "We have to prepare to continue the struggle," cried Richard Becker, a member of both the steering committee for International A.N.S.W.E.R. and the communist Workers' World Party. Although the A.N.S.W.E.R.-organized crowd at the March 15th rally in San Francisco was smaller than in previous demonstrations, the cries from the podium were much sharper. Becker called for direct action, civil disobedience all over the city, should the United States begin a war with Iraq. But the anti-war demonstrators hadn't waited for Becker. Plans for direct action on the day of the war have been in place for weeks.These punk thugs have getting away with this ever since the Seattle riots. It'll be interesting to see how many big city mayors have the gumption to handle it. And how many citizens have to handle it on their own,
Recycle! Reuters amuses with Recycler Traded Cans for Booze? A Los Angeles recycler that catered to homeless alcoholics by exchanging the bottles and cans they dug out of people's trash for coupons for a nearby liquor store has been shut down as a nuisance, city officials said on Friday.There's always a party pooper!
Smooth Move Alert! Dan Mangan in the NY Post reveals China's Fatal Secret: Scientists are furious that China hid a mysterious illness that raged there for months, preventing them from getting an early jump on the pneumonia-like disease that has affected hundreds - including a doctor who visited New York City last week.One can't help but wonder where it got "stuck" in the Communist Chinese bureaucracy.
Sunday, March 16, 2003 Time for the Cricket World Cup News! Neil Manthorp reports in the Telegraph that Olonga goes into hiding to dodge secret police: Henry Olonga's international career came to an end last night in dramatic circumstances with a secret journey to a safe house somewhere in South Africa. He will hide until he is able to start a new life in a different country.Ole Bobby Mugabe's mustachio must be twitching at a furious rate.
Hot Buns Banned! No, it's not just another cheesy ploy to increase my search engine hit rate. Chris Hastings and Elizabeth Day report in the Telegraph that: Schools across Britain have been ordered by local authorities to abandon the ancient tradition of serving hot cross buns at Easter so as not to offend children of non-Christian faiths.Naan breads? Naan breads are traditionally used as an accompaniment to Indian cuisine, particularly Balti recipe dishes. Many Naans are often teardrop shaped and include kalonghi seeds (black onion seeds) or fennel as an added seasoning in the standard recipe. Liverpool council, which is controlled by the Liberal Democrats, also told The Telegraph that the symbol of the cross had the "potential to offend" and buns will no longer be served to children.I''ll bite - does the information technology menu have "chips" instead? Hmmm, something occurs to me. Ann Widdecombe, the Conservative MP and former shadow home secretary who is a Roman Catholic convert, described the ban as "appalling and absurd". "These people are silly asses," she said.Thanks Ann, that's what I was thinking. More foolishness by following the link. And the Common Sense Door Prize goes to the Muslim Council of Britain who called the decision "very, very bizarre".
How can that be? The BBC reports that 'Chemical Ali' given command: Iraqi President Saddam Hussein has put a general notorious for his involvement in the gassing of the Kurds in charge of stopping any southern invasion.But Saddam says that Iraq has no chemical weapons anymore. He wouldn't lie, would he?
You don't need a poll (unless you're Team Clinton) Dick Morris in the NY Post, Poll: Get on with it: March 16, 2003 -- SUPPORT for military action to disarm Iraq and remove Saddam Hussein from power is higher than it has been in the past six months, but Americans are getting antsy about the endless diplomatic delays.Maybe that's why Hillary has been hanging around the military lately.
The Rumsfeld Effect (Via Kathy Kinsley) The Telegraph profiles Donald Rumsfeld in The Straight Talker: A headline in Friday's Washington Post captures perfectly the Rumsfeld Effect: "Anti-US Sentiment Abates in South Korea; Change Follows Rumsfeld Suggestion of Troop Cut". Change Follows Rumsfeld Suggestion: there's a slogan for the age, and it's fast becoming the First Law of Post-9/11 Geopolitics.Funny how a little straight talk flushes out the fools. For those who think world affairs can use a bracing shot of candour, Rumsfeld is the star of this war. A year ago, National Review put him on the cover in an illustration mimicking the famous poster of the last big wartime pin-up, Betty Grable. Women said he was their favourite sex symbol of the new war - notwithstanding his age (70), his suits (off the peg), his rimless specs, or his unavailability (he's been married to his high-school sweetheart for almost five decades).And the clue phone was heard ringing in the press room. Right now, on Old Europe, South Korea and much else, Rummy's getting it right. Mrs Thatcher used to say, a propos Viscount Whitelaw, "Every Prime Minister needs a Willie". Every President needs a Rummy. We have had a six-month Powell interlude. The Rumsfeld phase is about to resume.About damn time. Much more by following the link. UPDATE: This article is by Mark Steyn but the Telegraph apparently left off the byline.
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