Sunday, March 02, 2003

Subhuman Shields Time Again
The Greatest Jeneration covers the latest antics of the shield squad in British human shields run for home! Between them discovering it might be dangerous (zounds!) and the delusions of Ken "Mama's Boy" O'Keefe, things seem to be falling apart for the forces of wingnuttery.

But not to worry! Zev Chafets provides the answer in Those human shields need some star power:
Imagine what would happen today if a similar group - call them the Lincoln Navigator Brigade - sprang from the ranks of celebrity America and joined O'Keefe's deployment in Iraq. Picture Janeane Garafalo and Rob Reiner lying spread-eagled on the roof of a Baghdad powdered milk factory; Sheryl Crow and Ed Asner blocking U.S. tanks from entering Basra; Katrina Vanden Heuvel, Puff Daddy and the Smothers Brothers chained to the gates of Saddam Hussein's presidential palace.
Be still my heart! Please let it be so!
What's needed now is some organization. I think Scott Ritter, another ex-leatherneck peacenik, would make a great recruiter. Let him convene a summit of the anti-war celebrities (or their agents) at the Beverly Hills Burger King and ask for volunteers.

For commander of the Lincoln Navigator Brigade, I nominate rap star 50 Cent, from Musicians United to Win Without War. Unlike, say, Jessica Lange, 50 Cent has significant combat experience; he recently was stabbed and shot. And according to Rolling Stone, he makes "inspirational music for gunplay."

His fellow celebrity shields might need a little inspiration - especially if Franks hasn't kept up his subscription to People magazine.
Be there or be square, y'all!