Line of the day: Sarah Palin's experience

Sarah Palin started her political career in a small town.

Barack Obama started his political career in the home of a domestic terrorist bomber.

Don't argue with a God carrying arugula

Barry Obama's handlers are going nuts over the Emperor Obama theme. Check out the latest campaign poster:

Golly, the big Obama fest is tonight!

I'm so excited about the big Barry Obama stadium party tonight! I guess his handlers finally figured out that the searchlights weren't such a good idea and now everyone down at the barber shop says it's going to be just another lip-synch rock concert.


Not me - Barry used Britney Spears' set designer, but I think the Roman columns in the backdrop really mean that Hussein now thinks he is Caligula reborn which ought to be good for a lot of black humor.


Still, Barry is a nice boy - look how he thanked Hillary for releasing her delegates last night.


Hat tip for Caligula: The Real King of France

Boffo musical lineup for the Democrat convention!

Today's the start of the Democrat convention and although there's sure to be plenty of stultifying speechifying, the convention committee has plans to liven it up to prove to the worldwide audience that they aren't just a bunch of leftoid stiffs. Check out this press release detailing the musical numbers they have planned:

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MUSICAL HIGHLIGHTS OF 2008 DEMOCRAT CONVENTION

2008 Democrat National Convention Organizing Committee

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

August 25, 2008

While the 2008 Democrat convention will feature stirring speeches by party luminaries, the attendees and the TV audience will also be entertained by the musical talents of some of the thought leaders of the party. Below is a partial list of the planned musical entertainment - watch every single second of the convention to avoid missing any of it!

• Former Senator John "The Millworker's Son" Edwards will wow the crowd with the ballad, "My Cheating Heart." A duet of "The Ballad of Lizzie and Johnny" was planned with his lovely wife Liz, but she had some last minute family issues that kept her from attending.

• House Speaker Nancy Pelosi will get the house smiling with her Global Warming theme song, "A Bicycle Built for You and a Limousine Just for Me."

• Former Vice President Al Gore will remind everyone that climate change is serious business as he leads the crowd in an ancient Aztec chant to the Sun God begging him to spare sinful humans. Note: the virgin sacrifice was canceled due to shortages.
  

• Mayor Kwame "Pimp Daddy" Kilpatrick of Detroit will get the crowd jumping with his rendition of "Jailhouse Rock" backed by the famous Mayor's Mansion Strippers (except for the one that died mysteriously, of course).

• Former Governor Don "Crazy Pants" Siegleman of Georgia is out on bail, so he will be able to deliver his soulful rendition of "Working on a Chain Gang." Also be sure to catch the wailing harmonica on Don's "Karl Rove is Out to Get Me Blues."

• Crowd favorite Ted Kennedy will be sure to leave you chortling over his "Little Brown Jug (How I Love Thee)." Unfortunately, backup singers Mary Jo and Joan weren't able to attend because of prior commitments.

• Former President Bill "Registered Sex Offender" Clinton will bring back the good old days with "Devil with the Blue Dress On" and a soulful rendition of "Women I Have Known and Raped Before."

• Of course, the convention would not be complete without Senator Hillary Clinton delivering her stirring "I Am Woman (Hear Me Roar)" which she will late on whatever night she can be scheduled. Note from DNC Chairman Howard Dean: Clinton delegates are reminded of the need for them to vote on all ballots in their special venue in Casper, Wyoming, just a short walk from the convention hall.

Finally, the two stellar attractions:

• Michelle Obama plans to get your fingers snapping and toes tapping with her covers of "Get Back Honky Cat" and "Up Against The Wall, Redneck Mother" before she leads the crowd in "Kumbaya" which won't leave a dry eye in the house. Then she will have you on your feet with a clenched fist salute as she leads the singing of "The Internationale." You go, girl!
  

• Senator Barack Obama, of course, will be accepting his nomination at a rock concert extravaganza in the Invesco Center which will culminate with everyone in the stadium standing, giving the O-hole salute and singing along with "Obama Uber Alles" (words and required official Obama armband will be in the souvenir program).

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Hmm, maybe there will be "A-team" reruns on some cable channel.

Today's Hoot: Obama-Biden - Change That You Can Laugh At

Obama-Biden: "Change You Can Laugh At" - Video

Obama pranks followers with phony text message

This morning, followers of Barack Obama, who had stayed up all night waiting for a text message from the candidate revealing the name of his running mate, were stunned to get a message naming long time Senator and Washington insider Joe Biden. Expressions of shock and dismay were widespread that the presumptive Democratic presidential candidate who had run on a program of "change" had picked a partner mostly known for his longevity in Washington and his pompous foolishness and occasional plagiarism.

DailyKos Diarist Vera Patchouli summed up the concerns of many ardent Obama supporters when she said (lightly edited):

I can't f***ing believe it. I have been working hard for months for Obama from Mom's basement and he picks this old fart as second in command! The guy who back in 1987 got busted for plagiarizing his speeches from British Labor hero Neil Kinnock. The guy who said Barack was "the first mainstream African American" who was "clean," but that he was completely inexperienced. The guy who said, "You cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I'm not joking." The guy who has some sort of weird hairpiece stitched into his scalp!

I WANT TO SCREAM! THIS GUY IS A COMPLETE F***ING LOSER!

BARACK, WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO US????????????

Well, Vera need not have worried, because it turns out that the text message was an elaborate prank by Barack Obama and his campaign staff, designed in the words of campaign manager David Axelrod "to see how much BS we could get the Kool-Aid drinkers to believe. It looks like a lot more than we anticipated. I mean, c'mon, who would believe that we would really announce this on a Saturday if it were true?"

Axelrod indicated that the announcement of Obama's real VP candidate would occur next week during the convention. He said, "Whoever the lucky guy or gal is will get a speaking slot at the end just before the janitors start sweeping the floors."

Obama team sets staging for big stadium rally at convention

I see that the TV networks are in a tizzy about the cost to them of Barack Obama's handlers' plan for the Obamessiah to give his acceptance speech at a big night rally at the outdoor Invesco stadium. Of course, nothing is too good for the networks' boy and besides there's an upside for them too:

Unspoken among the executives is the guarantee of increased ratings and stunning visuals from Invesco that could offset some of that larger than expected expenditure.

I'll say. While everyone thought Obama was just in Germany to attend a free rock concert and snub wounded US soldiers, he and his posse were picking up some staging tips. Here's a mock-up of what it is going to look like:


It's a little derivative, but so dramatic!

Get your free Obama poster here!

Doug Ross provides us with the only Barack Obama poster you will ever need:


(Click poster to supersize)

Somehow, I think the O-holes aren't going to be happy.

Obama can run but he can't hide

Barack Obama the slumlords' pal has been in Tony Rezko's pocket so long he doesn't even notice the Twinkie wrappers anymore. I always liked his story that he barely knew Mr. Rezko at the time Rezko helped him buy his mansion with the 1,000 bottle wine cellar. I guess he wants us to believe that he had received Tony's orders for government subsidies by phone. Of course, Obama did finally have to admit that he had given ole Tony a tour of the palace they were buying jointly. I bet Rezko isn't eating any cookies sent to him anonymously in prison.

Today's Hoot: What do Obama and Osama have in common?

Q. What do Obama and Osama have in common?

A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.