Today's Hoot!
The Smoking Gun reports that Madonna has run into a spot of trouble with the hacker community:

Days after Madonna took a sharp swipe at music file-sharers, the singer's web site was hacked Saturday (4/19) by an electronic interloper who posted MP3 files of every song from "American Life," the controversial performer's new album, which will be officially released Tuesday. The site, madonna.com, was taken offline shortly after the attack was detected early Saturday morning and remained shut for nearly 15 hours.

Follow the link for a screenshot.

But this is more than just a web site defacement story:

[It] is an apparent response to Madonna's move last week to seed peer-to-peer networks like Kazaa with files that appeared to be cuts from her new album. In fact, the purported songs were digital decoys, with frustrated downloaders discovering only a looped tape of the singer asking, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

The hacked site says

"This is what the fuck I think I'm doing."
...
The hacked page also contained a derogatory reference to the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, or DMCA, the federal law aimed at cracking down on digital and online piracy. In addition, the defaced page included an impromptu marriage proposal to Morgan Webb, a comely 24-year-old woman who appears on "The Screen Savers," a daily technology show airing on the cable network Tech TV.

Inevitably, Morgan has a blog.

Meanwhile back at the ranch
I see that I have been neglecting domestic political hijinks lately. By way of remedy, did you catch the latest Hillary flap? Steven Brill: Hillary Fabricated 9/11 Records:

U.S. Sen. Hillary Clinton had her staff fabricate records of meetings and phone calls to families of victims of the Sept. 11 attacks to burnish her image as New York's leading politician on 9/11 issues, the author of a new book on how U.S. officials dealt with the aftermath of the attacks charged Sunday.

That ole gal is sure handy! But don't worry about her - she's got a good left hook:

After ignoring the story for five days, New York Sen. Hillary Clinton was finally forced to respond Thursday night to an allegation that she fabricated records of meetings with families of 9/11 victims - after Fox News Channel's Bill O'Reilly broke the mainstream media embargo on what some are calling the most serious charge ever lodged against the scandal-scarred former first lady.
...
"Brill's accusations are completely false and an obvious last ditch effort to jump-start anemic book sales," Reines said...

Hey, the records were just lost for a while, but they found them in her closet!

Then there was the latest John Kerry brouhaha:

Quoting unnamed advisers, the Times said the Bush campaign considers Kerry the most likely to win the Democratic nomination from the current field of nine candidates. The Bush team also believes Kerry is vulnerable because of his Northeastern roots and patrician air.

''He looks French,'' the newspaper quoted one adviser as saying, without elaboration.

Kerry said he laughed when he read the comment, adding: ''It means that the White House has started the personal politics of destruction, that's what it means, but it's fine.

Wanting to do my best to further the politics of personal destruction, I was getting ready to fire up Photoshop, but frankly Kerry would look really poor in a beret. Maybe a flannel shirt and tuque as Jacques, the French Canadian lumberjack, but the beret would just be too wierd.

But then a better opportunity came along when Kerry's wealthy but wacky wife popped up to deliver:

``They'll probably say he's French, he's Jewish . . . he's a monkey,'' Heinz Kerry said of her husband, whose Jewish roots recently became a campaign issue.

The only "issue" involving Kerry's "Jewish roots" is the humor surrounding the years Kerry spent telling everyone he was Irish. As Jay Nordlinger observes, I don't seem to recall any Republicans calling Joe Lieberman a Jewish monkey.

However, what will likely be an "issue" is Teresa Heinz Kerry herself. Can you say loose cannon? I knew you could!

Update: On the other hand, she should bring in the tin foil beanie vote.

Four of a kind alert!
Merde in France and The Dissident Frogman have added some new cards to the Iraq deck.

While you are visiting Merde in France, check out French culture shining blight. I thought we were scraping the bottom of the TV barrel over here, but using the "French Barney's" tail for a dildo on TV suggests that we aren't even in the running.

Gorgeous George Alert!
That whining spiv, Georgie Galloway, has certainly turned out to be the source of much merriment. Warren Hoge in the NY Times:

More recently, however, his act has lost its following. His fellow legislators now refer to him as "the member for Baghdad Central" and ridicule him for his expressions of admiration for Saddam Hussein and his frequent glad-handing trips to the Iraqi capital.

When Prime Minister Tony Blair was pondering a question in Parliament this month about who in Iraq would be qualified to deliver the unconditional surrender that Britain was seeking, an anonymous legislator brought the House down by shouting, "George Galloway!"

But Georgie has always been quite a lad:

His wife Elaine left him the same year after he confessed to having sex with two other women on a charity trip to the Greek islands.

And a fast worker! It's really sad that he has been abandoned by all his old pals:

Though the antiwar contingent in Parliament is large and vocal, none of the rebellious lawmakers have come to Mr. Galloway's defense. He has been discredited by frequently replayed television footage showing him in 1994 warmly greeting Mr. Hussein and praising him with the words, "Sir, I salute your strength, your courage and your indefatigability."

Always buttering up the customers!

But he still has at least one friend, teenybopper troller Scott Ritter:

But I was also shocked because of the timing of these allegations. Having been on the receiving end of smear campaigns designed to assassinate the character of someone in opposition to the powers that be, I have grown highly suspicious of dramatic revelations conveniently timed to silence a vocal voice of dissent.

Hmm, I wonder what's in Scotty's Baghdad file?

So what's a flack for dictators to do when the main man goes down the hydroflush? Mark Steyn's given it some thought and provides - I have excellent Korea prospects - I mean career prospects:

From: info@nobloodforoil.org.uk
To: customerservice@natwest.co.uk

...extremely annoyed to receive your letter demanding I return my cheque card and Platinum Visa, both cut in two. Obviously, I am as surprised as you that the cheque I paid in for £3,000,000 from the Supreme Revolutionary Council (Entertaining & Miscellaneous Account) bounced, but it is hardly my fault that I had already in good faith sent off the payment for the extensive refurbishment of my chateau. I have written in the strongest possible terms to the military governor of Baghdad in care of the Pentagon pointing out that the successor regime is most certainly responsible for the debts of its predecessor.

...

From: info@dictatormarketing.org.uk
To: dearleader@personalitycult.kp

...to let you know that you - yes, you, Kim Jong-Il of Number 1, Glorious Father Of Our Country Avenue, Pyongyang, have been personally selected to receive this once-in-a-lifetime invitation to join our family of satisfied dictators around the world. For a simple one-time activation fee plus annual direct debit, you'll be enrolled in our elite programme entitling you to start receiving the following benefits immediately!

Georgie? Bye bye!

He's back
Has someone been slipping something in O.J. Simpson's Wheaties lately? First we were stunned by the the news of an OJ reality show, now OJ Wants to Cover Blake Trial for TV. At this rate, he'll soon be appearing naked with the Chicks.

He sobered up long enough to mount up
Ted Turner managed to crawl up on his high horse again and Tim Blair has the ultimate response. (If permalinks are bloggered, just look for the really long post on Friday.) Ted, of course, has his own agenda.

Today's Hoot!
Jim DeFede in the Miami Herald - Hussein in Cuba? Let it be true:

Saddam Hussein is alive and living in Cuba.

Don't just take my word for it. I got this information straight from the April 21 issue of the Egyptian newspaper Soat el Umma, which in Arabic means Voice of the Nation.
...
If Hussein really was in Cuba, it would be just like the old TV show The Odd Couple. But instead of Felix and Oscar, we'd have Saddam and Fidel.

CUE ANNOUNCER:

On April 6, Saddam Hussein was asked to remove himself from his place of residence. [Sound effect of cruise missile exploding.] That request came from the United States.

Deep down, he knew she was right. But he also knew that someday he would return to Iraq.

With nowhere else to go, he appeared at the home of his longtime friend Fidel Castro. Sometime earlier, the United States had tried to throw him out, requesting that he never return.

Can two dictatorial men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?

CUE MUSIC.

All I can say is: ``Please, God, let it be true and I'll never ask for anything again.''

Gorgeous George
The Instapundit points to a Christian Science Monitor story (via Jay Fitzgerald) that reveals some newly discovered Iraqi documents that indicate that George Galloway was the recipient of three separate payments of $3 million each from Saddam Hussein. Hey, even MP's need some walking around money!

Meanwhile, Tim Blair has found some Galloway t-shirts. Frankly, they seem rather listless. How about this instead?

Yikes!
BBC Chief Attacks U.S. Media War Coverage:

BBC Director General Greg Dyke said many U.S. television networks had lacked impartiality during the conflict and risked losing credibility if they persisted with their stance.

How embarassing! Greg must have seen CNN or caught Peter Jennings' act!

Er, wait a minute.

"Personally I was shocked while in the United States by how unquestioning the broadcast news media was during this war," Dyke said in a speech at a University of London conference.

"If Iraq proved anything, it was that the BBC cannot afford to mix patriotism and journalism. This is happening in the United States and if it continues, will undermine the credibility of the U.S. electronic news media."

Having listened to a few of the BBC's anti coalition screeds "reports" on NPR, I'd say Greg shouldn't be lecturing anyone.

A modern miracle
Cosas will burn prison if Winnie's sent to jail:

Johannesburg - The Congress of South African Students (Cosas) threatened on Thursday to do "anything" in its power to keep its honorary president Winnie Madikizela-Mandela out of jail even if it meant burning the prison holding her.
...
"We are prepared to do anything in our power to ensure that she is not in jail," Cosas president Julius Malema said in a statement.

"If it means burning the prison she is locked in, so be it."

OK! But I feel bad for the other prisoners.

"We are still convinced that Mama (Madikizela-Mandela) is innocent and she did not do anything wrong," Malema said.

Sorry Julius, but Mama is an inveterate crook and thug. The miraculous thing is that she got convicted in the first place and that, so far, the ANC and related organizations have abided by the legal results. More details by following the link.