Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez launched a new verbal attack against US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, bluntly warning her "don't mess with me, girl."He promised a nasty slap fight if there was any more dissing of his fashion sense.
In an otherwise grim week -- at least on unimportant peripheral matters like Iranian nukes -- three things cheered me up. The first was the decision of Iran's bakers to rename Danish pastries "Roses of the Prophet Muhammed pastries.'' Has a ring to it, don't you think? If they're looking for a slogan, how about "Iranian pastry: There's nothing flakier. Except our president."Ole Mahmoud Ahmadinejad always looks to me like his family tree doesn't branch, but there are some folks even more inbred:
Fortunately, the Washington Post had that wise old bird David Ignatius to put it in the proper historical context: "This incident," he mused, "reminds me a bit of Sen. Edward Kennedy's delay in informing Massachusetts authorities about his role in the fatal automobile accident at Chappaquiddick in 1969."What do these folks think when they see themselves in the mirror in the morning?
Hmm. Let's see. On the one hand, the guy leaves the gal at the bottom of the river struggling for breath pressed up against the window in some small air pocket while he pulls himself out of the briny, staggers home, sleeps it off and saunters in to inform the cops the following day that, oh yeah, there was some broad down there. And, on the other hand, the guy calls 911, has the other fellow taken to the hospital, lets the sheriff know promptly but neglects to fax David Gregory's make-up girl!
I mean who doesn't need a nice thumbnail of Mohammed? I've placed the frisky lad in my top bar, but there are clearly many uses.
Alec Baldwin wrote this post during a break from his frantic schedule of not starring in movies.He's got a million of them.
This guy's biggest gig is appearing on Saturday Night Live every five weeks. The producers love him, because they know he doesn't bring any of that "project to promote" baggage with him.
The young readers may not remember, but at one time Alec Baldwin was actually an action star with enough heat to actually be considered a suitable actor for the role of James Bond. He was a two-fisted Hollywood tough-guy, smacking around everyone who got in his way. But enough about his marriage to Kim Bassinger.
A 55-year-old Tunbridge Wells nurse has been hauled before the Nursing and Midwifery Council's professional conduct committee in London for allegedly slapping a colleague with a frozen trout, the BBC reports.Sounds a little like a Benny Hill skit gone awry.
The fish-assisted assault - after which the acccused reportedly said "give us a kiss" while moving the fish's mouth - is one of four charges of professional misconduct levelled at Patricia Jennings.
She's also accused of inappropriate conduct, viz: "Reaching inside their [colleagues'] uniforms, asking questions about their private lives, and putting sweet wrappers down a nurse's top.It is a Benny Hill skit gone awry!
Now, we at El Reg normally wouldn't give this story shelf space, since frozen fish nurse attack stories are ten a penny, but the penultimate paragraph of the Beeb's report has a delicious, slightly surreal flavour:Never a dull moment when ole Pat is on the job.
Jamie Foster, for the Nursing and Midwifery Council, said Ms Jennings also lied about her training record, misled staff about the availability of beds on Ward 8, and bound a clerk's head and mouth with bandages while he was on the phone.
Those readers who are currently between romantic liasons and are having trouble kick-starting their love lives may be interested in a quite astounding scientific breakthrough which allows the humble mobile phone to become a potent weapon of lurv.I'm a tad suspicious though, particularly after reading that
Yes indeed, hot from Denmark come Pherotones - powerfully aphrodisiac melodies described as "the ringtone secret that can make you irresistible to the opposite sex".
Pherotones were discovered by Myra Vanderhood, a world-traveled intimacy expert. Vanderhood studied human sexuality, sexual physiology and interpersonal psychology at the university level for over 12 years. During that time, Vanderhood also conducted rigorous fieldwork, observing and experiencing first hand the sexual practices of cultures around the world.and
Dr. Myra Vanderhood is pleased to announce that she is awarding a “CITIZEN SCIENTIST” research grant in the amount of $6900.69. This grant will be bestowed upon the best documentation of video evidence that supports Dr. Vanderhood’s groundbreaking research.Sample video here. Hmm, don't tell Hollywood or they'll make a movie out of that one.
Those ice-cold drinks from favorite fast food restaurants may not seem as refreshing after a seventh-grader's science project reveals what may lurk inside the cup.And you thought it was gross that your pooch wants to drink out of the toilet.
Benito Middle School student Jasmine Roberts examined the amount of bacteria in ice served at fast food restaurants.
...
The 12-year-old compared the ice used in the drinks with the water from toilet bowls in the same restaurants. Jasmine said she found the results startling.
"I thought there might be a little bacteria in the ice, but I never expected it to be this much," she said. "And I never thought the toilet water would be cleaner."
Her discovery: Seventy percent of the time, the ice had more bacteria than the toilet water.
