Someone picked up the clue phone at the Guardian!

But not too willingly:

Grauniad gracious in defeat

Well, no, not really. They've given Hizb-ut-Tahrir member Dilpazier Aslam the elbow, but it seems from the snarling tone of their article on the subject that it's only because they're bowing to massive public pressure rather than because they realise there's actually something wrong with hiring an Islamic supremacist in the middle of a jihadi uprising.

Needless to say, they would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for those meddling bloggers!

That's the biz, sweethearts.

Yep, that'll help

EU Referendum points us to this gem:

An oath for European citizenship to be asked of Muslims, so that they recognise our basic rights was suggested by the Vice President of the European Commission, Franco Frattini, who said that the London bombs mark a change. He wrote that we owe the victims of the London bombs a mature intercultural and antireligious dialogue and that there is a basic recognition of European citizenship.

Allowing for the crappy translation, I still think we could just call him Sherlock for short, because the lad's clearly a bloomin' genius.

Pondscum chronicles (contd.)

In Pennsylvania, Lt. gov. crashed Marine's funeral, kin say:

The family of a Marine who was killed in Iraq is furious with Lt. Gov. Catherine Baker Knoll for showing up uninvited at his funeral this week, handing out her business card and then saying "our government" is against the war.

Follow the link for more including a snap of the scrofulous hag.

Aren't they the pesky little twits?

Evilpundit observes the "vague uneasiness alleged" in an ABC Online news report:

Note all the attributions emphasised above. All are vague references to unnamed "some" or "Canadians". Overall, the item gives an impression of many opinions that support a particular viewpoint, but not one actual person is cited as supporting that point of view. It's an example of how an impression can be conveyed by the media, without any specific basis.

It's the polite way of describing them pulling another one out of their butts.

Wait, it gets better!

From Kenya - Councillor who wanted to marry Clinton’s daughter:

As Former US President Bill Clinton makes his first visit the country, one man will be hoping for a man-to-man talk with him.

Councillor Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor, who wanted to marry Chelsea Clinton (below).

Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor, a nominated councillor in Nakuru, says he has some social business with Clinton that started in 2000, but of which the former American President has no clue. He seeks the former president’s only child’s hand in marriage.

In 2000 when Chelsea, her father and mother, now Senator Hilary Rodham Clinton, visited East Africa, Chepkurgor, then a Fourth Year student at Moi University, tried to make his intention clear. He wrote to Clinton, offering himself as a suitor for Chelsea.

He offered to pay 20 head of beef cattle and 40 goats to the Clintons in accordance to African traditions.

Sounds about right to me, even generous! But Godwin ran into a few snags as the full story explains.

Meanwhile, some homegrown fun from Oregon - BENCH WARMER: Local judge Sid Galton appears headed toward early retirement:

Sid Galton, the Multnomah County jurist who decorated his courtroom with a blue lava lamp and who asked lawyers to call him "Judge Perky," appears to be headed off the bench due to severe depression.

Did Katie Couric know about this?

While Galton's supporters praise him as funny, well-meaning and good with jurors, his critics call him vindictive and volatile-and a case study in how difficult it is to remove judges who don't have the right temperament for the job.

Last year, the state Commission on Judicial Fitness and Disability filed a complaint against Galton accusing him of swearing in court and bullying a rookie female prosecutor. The judge initially admitted to the complaint and signed an agreement that would have led merely to a reprimand and some anger-management counseling. But Galton then withdrew from the agreement and threw the legal equivalent of a "Hail Mary" pass-arguing to the state Supreme Court that the Fitness Commission, set up to oversee judges, lacked legal authority.

And the "Hail Mary" doesn't always lead to a touchdown.

There's good news...

CA Grocery Clerk The Next Earl of Essex?

SACRAMENTO — A real life story that sounds like a Hollywood movie.

Imagine being Bill Capell, a retired supermarket clerk, who's lived his entire life in the small town of Yuba City, California. Then imagine you've just learned you are next in line to be the 10th Earl of Essex, a nobleman in England, a country you've never even visited.

Capell's family lineage goes back to William the Conquerer. Nearly a thousand years of ermine robes and powdered wigs, a world away from Yuba City, California.

Capell got a call on June 17th early in the morning telling him that his cousin the 10th Earl had died. That news now made Capell, former grocery store clerk, the next in line for the title.

As Earl of Essex, the Queen would address him as "our right trusty and entirely beloved cousin." And he could one day take a seat in the House of Lords.

And there's bad news...

There's no fortune. No castle. But there is a coat of arms.

Ingrid Seward, Editor in Chief, Majesty Magazine says, "You can get a table in a restaurant. It's quite grand being an Earl."

I've got to try that at Shoney's next time I drop by for some country fried steak.

Pondscum chronicles

The Attorney General of the State of California has a painting of a map of the USA in a toilet in the lobby of his office. (Registration required.) Oh yeah, it's by effigy boy, Steven Pearcy.

(Hat tip: Brothers Judd)

Listen to the whine

The usual suspects are rallying the flying monkeys to oppose the Supreme Court nomination of Judge Roberts. Superbly coiffed Ralph Neas, the doyen of borking, already "is extremely disappointed that the President did not choose a consensus nominee." Hugh Hewitt also points out that Chucky Schumer getting in early:

Schumer is telegraphing the strategy of the hard-left Democratic Senaors: To ask question after question which a nominee will not and should not answer, and then to oppose confirmation on the basis of these refusals.

Chucky probably has his staff working overtime coming up with hypothetical legal cases on which he will ask for a snap decision, but he needn't bother - Ralph Neas will do it for him and all the other leftoid senators who pretend to an authority they lack.

My vote for best line - Viking Pundit:

And please, enough of the “unite the nation” or “in the mold of O’Connor” or “keep the balance” blather. Don’t like it? Win an election.

And in the meantime, Bill Frist should keep the nuclear option ready.

Someone 'splain it to me

Hachem wins endurance test -- and $7.5 million prize:

LAS VEGAS -- This was the scene shortly after 6 a.m. Saturday inside Binion's Gambling Hall and Hotel.

The floor was littered with empties and unconscious humans. A green mountain of cash -- bundles of Benjamins wrapped, 50 per stack, in rubber bands -- rested on an unused card table while at another three men -- Derrick "Tex" Barch of Dallas, Steve Dannenmann of Baltimore and Joseph Hachem of Melbourne, Australia -- played poker. Inside the room two men in suits toted rifles while in an adjacent room two feather-boa-clad dancers sat on chairs and waited patiently.

Just another night in Vegas, really. Except that the three men were into their 14th consecutive hour of playing Texas Hold 'Em and whoever knocked out the other two stood to win $7.5 million. The longest final table in the history of the World Series of Poker was locked in what seemed to be an interminable struggle for what would be the largest (known) prize in gambling history. Perspective? The grand prize in the main event would be worth more than the purse for the entire field ($7,154,642) at the British Open this weekend.

"That may be the gaudiest thing I've seen my entire life," said tournament director Johnny Grooms, staring at the cash cliff before him.

But by this ungodly hour, it was difficult to summon interest. The media members splayed out on the floor behind a curtain just a few yards away -- the Nap Pack, let's call them -- had already lost the battle with their own eyelids. The dancers, bless them, were killing time with two young journalists in a corner who for hours had been much more intent on sweating them than the final table.

Reading the blow by blow account of the final "action" will put you to sleep too. What puzzles me is whether there is a more boring spectator sport than watching people play poker? The cable channels seem to love it, though. I guess I can understand the folks playing at online gambling casinos or even journeying to the real thing to put money in slot machines, but watching someone else do it? Zzzzzz.

And while we're having a little United Nations fun...

Check out UN seeks to bolster ties between West and Islam:

The United Nations, acting after deadly suicide bombings apparently driven by Muslim extremism hit London, launched an initiative on Thursday to build new bridges between the West and Islam.

Never fear, the kleptocrats are here!

The campaign's aim was to "bridge divides and overcome prejudice, misconceptions, misperceptions, and polarization which potentially threaten world peace," U.N. chief spokesman Stephane Dujarric said.

Hmmm, is that like convincing Islamofascist wingnuts not to murder people?

Recent events had "heightened the sense of a widening gap and lack of mutual understanding between Islamic and Western societies -- an environment that has been exploited and exacerbated by extremists in all societies," he said.

I must have missed the Baptist suicide bombers, but tell me more - what exactly are the UN weenies going to do?

Secretary-General Kofi Annan was pursuing the "Alliance of Civilizations" initiative, at the suggestion of Spain and Turkey, after 54 people were killed in suicide bombings in London by three British Muslims of Pakistani origin and a Jamaican-born Briton.

The campaign has no firm plans yet but is expected to present recommendations and a plan of action in late 2006.

Golly! It's another UN exercise in padding expense accounts. They have that down pat.