Today's Hoot!

The talking heads on MSNBC's Hardball observed tonight that Lurch did not make up his mind on his VP candidate until last night. It seems he really wanted Florida's Sen. Bob Graham, but he "failed the vetting process." That's why at the big announcement ceremony this morning, the campaign workers' signs said Kerry Graham on one side and Kerry Edwards on the other!



Just the kind of decisive leadership one would expect from Flipper.

It would be like Disneyland for wingnuts!

Iranians want to bury their war dead in London:

British officials were taken aback yesterday by a plan to unearth the remains of Iranian soldiers and rebury them in the grounds of Iran's London embassy.

If Teheran gets its way, Kensington could feature a new memorial to Iran's "unknown martyrs" alongside such landmarks as the Albert Memorial and the new Diana Memorial Fountain.
...
In an initiative privately regarded in Whitehall as "absolutely bizarre", Iran's Sacred Defence Preservation Foundation, which preserves the memory of soldiers who died in the 1980-88 war with Iraq, wants to send an unspecified number of "unknown martyrs" to London to create a weekend attraction for Iranian expatriates.

"Iranians across Europe told us that they wanted to commemorate those who defended Iran, and they wanted a place to go on Sundays," explained Daoud Ghiasirad, the head of public relations for the foundation.

Boy, that really ought to pack 'em in! But I bet they'll get all grumpy about hot dogs at the refreshment stand.

He said there was nothing unusual in the request, pointing out that there were several hundred Commonwealth graves of soldiers from two world wars in a British diplomatic compound in Teheran.

The operative criterion is generally that they are buried more or less where they fell. I must have missed out on the fighting on the London front of the Iran-Iraq war.

Look at what just crawled out from under the rock!

It's the Mad Mullahs of Iran - Iranian Intel Officers Captured in Iraq:

American and Iraqi joint patrols, along with U.S. Special Operations teams, captured two men with explosives in Baghdad on Monday who identified themselves as Iranian intelligence officers, FOX News has confirmed.

Senior officials said it was previously believed that Iran had officers inside Iraq stirring up violence, but this is the first time that self-proclaimed Iranian intelligence agents have been captured within the country.

The Defense officials also confirmed to FOX News that in recent days there has been significant success in tracking down "known bad guys" based on information from local citizens. While those captured aren't from the list of former regime members or from terror leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi's network, they are "active" bombers and organizers of recent violence.

The arrest of the two Iranians suspected of attempting to carry out a vehicle bombing has focused new attention on how Tehran is trying to protect its interests in the country it fought for eight years in a devastating war.

Er, "protect its interests" seems to involve wholesale murder. Hang 'em high!

Meanwhile, back at the loony bin:

Syrian President Bashar Assad, at the end of a two-day trip to Iran on Monday, said developments in Iraq are "the most important issue" for Syria and other neighbors of Iraq, including Iran.

If a cruise missile with your name on it is important, you're probably right, Bashar.

Life Imitates Television

What a duo!

Hold the presses!

Click the strip to enlarge. More of Captain Rib Man here.

It's the billionaire boys' big hair club!

Despite the NY Post's putative Gephardt scoop, all the newsies are now claiming that Lurch has selected the Breck Boy as his Veep candidate. Thank goodness, the suspense was simply awful! Zzzzzzz.

Aaron has the scoop on the latest Time mag cover!

And what a scoop it is!

More Half Assed Democrat "Triangulation" Attempts

On Saturday, the Democrats released a draft of their 2004 platform:

The Democratic Party pledges an unrelenting struggle against terrorism and a commitment to seeing Iraq succeed, according to a statement of election principles shaped heavily by national security crises.
...
The document is predictably critical of President Bush and the manner in which he "rushed to war" in Iraq. But it does not call the war a mistake, saying people of good will can disagree on that.

Yup. Sure. We believe you. But it's a tad puzzling that if you're all so even-handed, why all the Donk bigs are busy sucking at Mikey Moore's ample teats not to mention the dung flies of the Donk establishment hanging around his butt.

Aside from the "big" committment to national security, the platform has the usual Donk bromides, but a few surprises too:

On the environment, the platform pledges Democrats will "restore American leadership on global issues such as climate change." It does not mention the Kyoto treaty rejected by Bush.

Kerry has talked in favor of a global "climate change strategy," avoiding an explicit endorsement of the Kyoto deal as negotiated.

The ecoweenies will be all atwitter!

But they couldn't resist some new foolishness:

It drops any reference to support for the death penalty — a feature of the past two Democratic platforms when Clinton and Al Gore moved the party toward the center on crime. Kerry opposes capital punishment except for terrorists.

Support for a constitutional amendment on the rights of crime victims is gone, replaced by vague language saying victims should be heard and compensated for their suffering.

"Victims should be heard" - that's really swell.

This article doesn't mention it directly, but others note that the platform is calling for 40,000 more active troops and better equipment for the military. Not a bad idea, but all this whining from the usual suspects about their newfound support for the military has brought back an updated version of an item that was hot around election time in 2000:

Guess What Country This Is?

Can you name this country?

709,000 REGULAR (ACTIVE DUTY) PERSONNEL.

293,000 RESERVE TROOPS.

EIGHT STANDING ARMY DIVISIONS.

20 AIR FORCE AND NAVY AIR WINGS WITH 2,000 COMBAT AIRCRAFT.

232 STRATEGIC BOMBERS.

19 STRATEGIC BALLISTIC MISSILE SUBMARINES WITH 3,114 NUCLEAR WARHEADS ON 232 MISSILES.

500 ICBMs WITH 1,950 WARHEADS.

FOUR AIRCRAFT CARRIERS AND 121 SURFACE COMBAT SHIPS AND SUBMARINES PLUS ALL THE SUPPORT BASES, SHIPYARDS,AND LOGISTICAL ASSETS NEEDED TO SUSTAIN SUCH A NAVAL FORCE.



IS THIS COUNTRY:

RUSSIA? NO

CHINA? NO

GREAT BRITAIN? NO

FRANCE? WRONG AGAIN

MUST BE USA? STILL WRONG

GIVE UP?



THESE ARE THE AMERICAN MILITARY FORCES THAT WERE ELIMINATED DURING THE ADMINISTRATION OF BILL CLINTON AND AL GORE.

Hey, Bubba had to pay for all those swell programs and services somehow! It's funny though - I can't remember any of them.

A glorious 4th of July

More Campaign Hijinks with Lurch!

It isn't what it looks like!


Lurch is still on his tour of the flyover states with predictable results. More grimacing action here. Of course, he's not likely to drop by anyplace where they are firing some of those evil "assault weapons" or even worse - machine guns!

And here's a shocker - it turns out that Lurch is really a country boy at heart! Reuters provides the predictable 'Kid from the East' Kerry Feels Farmers' Pain:

John Kerry, veteran senator from Massachusetts, New England blue blood and Democratic White House hopeful, learned to swear from a farmer, loved to drive a tractor and once had a passion for plowing.

"When I was a kid, this kid from the East, I had an aunt and uncle who owned a dairy farm," Kerry told a town hall meeting on Saturday in Independence, midway through a 546-mile July 4 weekend road trip across America's heartland to win over rural voters.
...
"I've been out here a lot over 20 years plus," he told about 150 invited guests at the Dejno family farm, where he toured the aromatic calving shed and milking center. "And we actually have farms in Massachusetts."
...
"I was driving down here ... and I was saying, 'Look at the power of that land.' You can just feel it, you see it. I know what you love, I know why you're here, I know what you feel about this and we've got to help," he said.

Kerry's schedule has been packed with all-American activities to celebrate the Independence Day holiday, from the name of the town chosen for Saturday's forum, to throwing a football, eating barbecue and watching fireworks from a boat on the Mississippi, a far cry from the posh New England sailing meccas of Cape Cod and Nantucket where he said he normally spent the Fourth of July.

"I just do what I normally do," Kerry told reporters who asked whether an outdoorsman image was important to his campaign. "This is stuff I've done all my life."

During the discussion of agricultural issues, the senator said he lived on a farm when he was very young and had "learned my first cuss word sitting on a tractor with the guy who was driving it."

"When I was 12 years old, my passion was being allowed to go out and sit on the John Deere and drive it around the fields and plow. And I learned as a kid what it was like looking back and see those furrows, and see that pattern and feel a sense of accomplishment, and end up dusty and dirty and tired, but feeling great, looking back at that field that you'd plowed," Kerry said.

Around here. we'd say he was full of more crap than a Christmas goose. And he stepped in one of those "aromatic" meadow muffins when he had to defend his support for the Northeast Dairy Compact.

Anyhow, it sure is swell that Lurch is dropping by to visit the country folks before he gets back to civilization:

John Kerry may be only a candidate for president, but he and his entourage travel like kings. A month ago, his campaign began chartering a gleaming 757, packed with first-class seats, fine food, sleeping accommodations - even a stand-up bar. They hardly shy away from fancy hotels, like the Four Seasons in Palm Beach and the St. Regis in Los Angeles.

Maybe he lets the country cousins look in the windows of his bus!