Friday, September 29, 2006

Breaking news! Bears do sh*t in the woods!

Wildlife Waste Is Major Water Polluter, Studies Say:

Does a bear leave its waste in the woods?

Of course. So do geese, deer, muskrats, raccoons and other wild animals. And now, such states as Virginia and Maryland have determined that this plays a significant role in water pollution.

Scientists have run high-tech tests on harmful bacteria in local rivers and streams and found that many of the germs -- and in the Potomac and Anacostia rivers, a majority of them-- come from wildlife dung. The strange proposition that nature is apparently polluting itself has created a serious conundrum for government officials charged with cleaning up the rivers.
I'm shocked, I tell ya! Who knew those pesky pooping critters were ecologically irresponsible?
"They're pooping in the water," said Chuck Frederickson, an environmentalist who is keeper of the James River, gazing at geese slurping algae off river rocks one recent day. He said the goose population is an obstacle to improving the river: "Do we want less bacteria in the water, or do we want geese around?"

But it is one thing to blame wild animals for pollution and another to figure out how to get them to stop.
How about getting those perpetually unemployed Hurricane Katrina refugees to slap diapers on the critters and then change them regularly? Sounds like a win-win to me. Of course they'd have to be those eco-friendly cloth diapers and I suppose we'd need a special diaper wash, but I'm sure the taxpayers won't mind laying out the dough to make the rivers cleaner than Mother Nature does. Hmm, I'm not quite sure what the ecoweenies can do about the fish, though.

More seriously, do you think it'll ever occur to these goof balls that nature isn't like a Disney movie and that there's a certain amount of mess involved and the temperature isn't always perfectly regulated?

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Having fun with today's favorite bogus cause

Most speeches in the US Senate are eminently forgettable, but one worth your time is Sen. James Inhofe's takedown of global warming on Monday. One of my favorite parts:
Many in the media, as I noted earlier, have taken it upon themselves to drop all pretense of balance on global warming and instead become committed advocates for the issue.

Here is a quote from Newsweek magazine:

“There are ominous signs that the Earth’s weather patterns have begun to change dramatically and that these changes may portend a drastic decline in food production– with serious political implications for just about every nation on Earth.”

A headline in the New York Times reads: “Climate Changes Endanger World’s Food Output.” Here is a quote from Time Magazine:

“As they review the bizarre and unpredictable weather pattern of the past several years, a growing number of scientists are beginning to suspect that many seemingly contradictory meteorological fluctuations are actually part of a global climatic upheaval.”

All of this sounds very ominous. That is, until you realize that the three quotes I just read were from articles in 1975 editions of Newsweek Magazine and The New York Times, and Time Magazine in 1974.

They weren’t referring to global warming; they were warning of a coming ice age.

Let me repeat, all three of those quotes were published in the 1970’s and warned of a coming ice age.

In addition to global cooling fears, Time Magazine has also reported on global warming. Here is an example:

“[Those] who claim that winters were harder when they were boys are quite right… weathermen have no doubt that the world at least for the time being is growing warmer.”

Before you think that this is just another example of the media promoting Vice President Gore’s movie, you need to know that the quote I just read you from Time Magazine was not a recent quote; it was from January 2, 1939.

Yes, in 1939. Nine years before Vice President Gore was born and over three decades before Time Magazine began hyping a coming ice age and almost five decades before they returned to hyping global warming.

Time Magazine in 1951 pointed to receding permafrost in Russia as proof that the planet was warming.

In 1952, the New York Times noted that the “trump card” of global warming “has been the melting glaciers.”
It's deja vu all over again, I guess.
Since 1895, the media has alternated between global cooling and warming scares during four separate and sometimes overlapping time periods. From 1895 until the 1930’s the media peddled a coming ice age.

From the late 1920’s until the 1960’s they warned of global warming. From the 1950’s until the 1970’s they warned us again of a coming ice age. This makes modern global warming the fourth estate’s fourth attempt to promote opposing climate change fears during the last 100 years.
I figure Ook the witch doctor ran from cave to cave in the Stone Age peddling similar nostrums. There's something inherently satisfying to busybodies in saying that some vast force will punish you if don't do what they say is best. Oh well, not to worry, Pres. Ahmadinejad told the United Nations that the 12th Imam is due shortly.