Friday, September 29, 2006

Breaking news! Bears do sh*t in the woods!

Wildlife Waste Is Major Water Polluter, Studies Say:

Does a bear leave its waste in the woods?

Of course. So do geese, deer, muskrats, raccoons and other wild animals. And now, such states as Virginia and Maryland have determined that this plays a significant role in water pollution.

Scientists have run high-tech tests on harmful bacteria in local rivers and streams and found that many of the germs -- and in the Potomac and Anacostia rivers, a majority of them-- come from wildlife dung. The strange proposition that nature is apparently polluting itself has created a serious conundrum for government officials charged with cleaning up the rivers.
I'm shocked, I tell ya! Who knew those pesky pooping critters were ecologically irresponsible?
"They're pooping in the water," said Chuck Frederickson, an environmentalist who is keeper of the James River, gazing at geese slurping algae off river rocks one recent day. He said the goose population is an obstacle to improving the river: "Do we want less bacteria in the water, or do we want geese around?"

But it is one thing to blame wild animals for pollution and another to figure out how to get them to stop.
How about getting those perpetually unemployed Hurricane Katrina refugees to slap diapers on the critters and then change them regularly? Sounds like a win-win to me. Of course they'd have to be those eco-friendly cloth diapers and I suppose we'd need a special diaper wash, but I'm sure the taxpayers won't mind laying out the dough to make the rivers cleaner than Mother Nature does. Hmm, I'm not quite sure what the ecoweenies can do about the fish, though.

More seriously, do you think it'll ever occur to these goof balls that nature isn't like a Disney movie and that there's a certain amount of mess involved and the temperature isn't always perfectly regulated?