Thursday, February 16, 2006

Top 3 reasons why I couldn't be White House Press Secretary

3. The ladies and gentlemen of the press might take it amiss when I referred to them as "talking hairdos," "useless drones," and "hagfish."

2. Helen Thomas might get cranky when I told her to hump someone else's leg.

1. NBC's whiney pissant David Gregory might be upset when I jammed his head in a toilet and gave him a "swirly."

Too bad. I'm sure dealing with the spoiled brats would be a real eye opener.