Today's Hoot!

At State, Condoleezza Rice Takes Control of Diplomacy:

On her first trip abroad, Rice warned the European Union not to lift an arms embargo on China, telling diplomats they would rue the day if U.S. troops ever faced European-armed Chinese soldiers across the Taiwan straits. Luxembourg Prime Minister Jean-Claude Juncker, who then held the rotating European Union presidency, was so startled by her tough talk that he spilled his coffee in the lap of European foreign policy chief Javier Solana.

Dang, where's the video tape?

Guess who?

Via Viking Pundit:

This fat bastard first bitched about not being able to get a table by the window then ordered enough food for himself to feed me for a week. After busting my ass trying to bring him the next plate before he finished the first he only leaves a dollar and some change for a tip... Dude wheres my tip?

They should be glad they aren't the restroom attendant.

He's got the routine down pat

'Take your clothes off and come out':

"Mohammed," shouted the police. "Take your clothes off! Come out with your hands on your head and you will be all right!"

"I have rights!" came the reply. "I have rights."

Quick, someone call Cherie Blair!

And speaking of both scrofulous hags and the "press"

Everyone's favorite Syrian terrorist apologist, Helen Thomas, makes us a promise:

Veteran wire reporter Helen Thomas is vowing to 'kill herself' if Dick Cheney announces he is running for president.

Make a wish!

That does sound familiar, but it was long ago

American Digest:

I think I can recall, vaguely and only in shadows, the time when journalism was a decent profession. Now it seems to be mainly the refuge of demented columnists, aging Pulitzer puffers, latter-day traitors, and scum cast off from hapless and hopeless liberal arts colleges.

While you're there, check out Truth in Packaging. I always wonder about folks who use their high school graduation photo as a publicity snap. When you meet them in the flesh, your first reaction is "Holy sh*t! What happened to you?" In the case of ole Irma Bunt Catherine Baker Knoll though, neither one is a prize.

"I've got a little list"

Actually, Bernard Goldberg does. It'll do for a start.

(Hat tip: American Digest)

Today's Hoot!

Allah:

When the Bomb goes off in New York City, the last thought that passes through my mind before the fireball consumes me will be, "You know, I hope we don't bomb Mecca. I wouldn't want this war to get out of hand."

What the heck - Arabia could use a new parking lot.

Today's Hoot! (2nd helping)

Over in the UK a Thief 'drinks' work of art:

An artist's latest work - a bottle of melted Antarctic ice - may have been stolen and drunk by a thirsty thief.

Artist Wayne Hill filled a two-litre clear plastic bottle with melted ice to highlight global warming.

But the artwork, valued at £42,500, went missing while on display at a literary festival, reports the Scotsman.

Entitled Weapon of Mass Destruction, it vanished halfway through the Ways with Words festival at Dartington Hall, Devon.

Mr Hill said: "It looked like an ordinary bottle of water, but it was on a plinth, labelled, described and in the programme of the whole festival.

"It was very, very clear what it was - a work of art."

Don't get all het up, Wayne! It was most likely just a thirsty literary type, parched by the profundities on display. Think how much worse you would feel if the contents of the bottle had "turned" yellow! Lots of luck with your insurance claim though, and I'll be glad to provide a replacement for a five spot plus shipping. You won't be able to tell the difference.

And while we're feeling all arty, check out Chorus of loud boos:

THIS year's edition of one of Europe's top summer arts events has been described as a pretentious catastrophe after angry audiences booed or walked out of a series of performances.

Critics attending the three-week Avignon theatre festival in southern France said it had plumbed new depths of intellectual obscurity and warned that a contempt for the mainstream public was placing the future of a national institution in jeopardy.

"What purgatory!" said the news magazine Le Point on its culture pages. "Loyal spectators are sad, disorientated and haggard." A commentator for the communist newspaper L'Humanite said this year's offerings were marked by "a triumphant sense of masturbatory autism".

But the most searing attack on Europe's most important drama venue after Edinburgh came from the conservative newspaper Le Figaro, which devoted an editorial to "the festival's worst crisis since 1968".

Some of the lowlights:

On Tuesday there were shouts of abuse during a show - part dance, part installation - by choreographer Christian Rizzo. Either the well was deep - a reference from Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland - was accompanied by a cacophony of electronic noise that the audience found unbearable.

A two-part work titled A lovely blonde child and I apologise, in which actors draped dolls of young girls in lascivious postures over coffins, also drew boos of derision and was accused of being an incitement to pedophilia.

"You think you've reached the last point in mediocrity, pretentiousness and confusion. But no. There is always something worse," said Le Figaro's drama critic.
...
Much of the audience walked out of After/Before, described as a piece of "theatre-dance-music-video" by director Pascal Rambert. The first 40 minutes are taken up by a film of interviewees answering the question, "If there were a huge catastrophe, a new flood, what would you bring with you from this world to the next?"

In the second half, 21 actors reproduce word for word the quotes from the film and then, having stripped off, perform them a third time in song and dance. "What have you got against us?" a spectator was heard to shout as he walked out in exasperation.

Good question.

Today's Hoot!

Mickey Kaus:

And if reporters are willing to give Hillary credit for being "downright conservative" just because she uses the phrase "old fashioned values"--well, reporters are cheap dates!

Not me! I want at least a movie and a classy restaurant. But then I'm not one of the MSM.

And speaking of leftoids feeding at the public trough

Air America Took Money From Poor Kids & Alzheimer Patients:

Radio Equalizer and Michelle Malkin have followed a scandal in New York that, given the involvement of the nationally-broadcast Air America, should have received national media attention by now. It turns out that the Gloria Wise Boys & Girls Clubs almost had to shut its doors following a funding shortfall despite receiving a half-million dollars in grant money and much more in city contracts, getting rescued at the last moment by other independent groups. The $500K in grant money had been loaned out -- to Air America...

Who knew you could fleece the taxpayers for wingnut media enterprises? Quick, someone tell Al Gore!

So why haven't we heard about this scandal from the Exempt Media?

Gosh, it sure is a puzzle!

Mad How disease strikes again!

Betsy's Page:

Red State links to John Cole at Balloon Juice for finding this whopper by Howard Dean. Dean is now blaming the Republicans for the takings decision by the liberals on the Supreme Court. Huh? The conservatives are the ones who voted against taking the private property in the Kelo decision.
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Oh dear, how is it that he can just lie like that? Has he no shame at all?

No shame or no clue? It's hard to tell with Mad How. But it does it make you wonder about his staff. Aren't they supposed to keep delusional boy reined in?

Perhaps, there is an upside to this. (Besides that a party always loses when its leader is making such blatant lies.) If Dean thinks it is such a winner to be against the taking of private property to benefit some other private individual or corporation, perhaps the Democrats will get on board for passing laws in every single state to outlaw such takings.

Of course, it would help Dean's mirage if a majority of Democrats in the House had not voted against an amendment to a bill that would prevent federal money going to any project that involved such a taking.

Since most urban Democrats (i.e. most modern Democrats) thrive off the chummy world of government contracts, government grants, and general nest feathering with the public purse, they better clue Howie in that he's endangering their golden geese.

All duded up and no place to go

Yet more evidence of the intellectual and moral decline of today's Democrat party - ON HIS NEAS:

"He's out there on his own," says a far-left Democratic Senate staffer of People for the American Way's Ralph Neas. "He's not going to get much help, I'm afraid."

The discussion is about the Bush Administration's first Supreme Court nominee, Judge John Roberts, and the lightning fast PR offensive orchestrated by former RNC head Ed Gillespie out of the West Wing of the White House.

"They just buried us, and took us out of the game, at least for now," says the staffer, who had been preparing her boss to push back hard on any nominee, but particularly Judge Edith Jones. "We were expecting a woman, and we were ready for her. Not what we got on Tuesday night. And neither were our groups, like People and NARAL."

Ill-preparedness has never stopped Neas, however, from opening his mouth, and the media needed a lefty mouthpiece to debate whomever the Republicans put forward, whether it be Barbara Comstock or Sen. Fred Thompson or former White House counsel Boyden Gray.

"Neas is probably going to get a lot of airtime, because there isn't anyone willing to get out too far on [Roberts]," says a Democratic leadership staffer. "Our folks are eventually going to have lots to say about the nominee, but they can't do the slash and burn stuff the way Ralph is [doing it]. Frankly, we cringe every time he goes on the air, because he just looks so bitter. Compare that to the man he's talking about, with the smile and the kids, and who do you think wins?"

But Ralph is such a fetching lad and so well coiffed! And let's face it - it's his job to attack any Republican judicial nominees that are to the right of Ted Kennedy. He's been collecting all those contributions to "People for the American Way" for years and now he's got to deliver.

As for the usual run of the mill leftoid Donks, well, they're just slow off the mark:

The ugliness of the Democratic attack so far -- attacking the Roberts family's faith, hinting that Roberts might be a closeted homosexual, attempting to link him to the Iran-Contra scandal knowing that it was a different John Roberts -- indicates how desperate some on the far-left fringe are willing to go to beat the Bush Administration.

But it isn't just the fringe groups. According to a former Kerry campaign staffer who has returned to doing work for MoveOn.org, Democratic Senate leadership staff with ties to the caucus's opposition research unit have been sharing information about Roberts and taking part in strategy calls with the Democratic third-party community that is raising money against Roberts.

"There is plenty of time for us to get to know the real Roberts," says another Democratic Senate staffer. "The White House can paint whatever picture it wants, but we're going to get a chance to strip it down during the hearings."

MoveOn? Third party community? Is there anything left of the Democrat party but rabid wingnuts?

Gosh, I must have missed it!

The North Korean party animals are at it again:

Pyongyang, July 23 (KCNA) -- Indignation meetings were held in different parts of Korea, resounding with yelling "Let us resolutely smash the Japanese reactionaries' hostile policy and moves for reinvasion against the DPRK!" and "Let us take revenge on the Japanese militarists hundred and thousand times for imposing all sorts of misfortunes and sufferings upon our people!" and so on.

They still have their way with words.

At meetings held at Kim Chaek University of Technology, Kye Ung Sang Sariwon University of Agriculture and the Wonsan Chemical Factory on July 21, reporters and speakers branded Japan as the most dangerous force of aggression as it took part in the Korean war as a shock-brigade of the U.S. imperialists' moves of aggression against the DPRK and has escalated its moves for reinvasion of the DPRK, evading the liquidation of the past and scheming to seize Tok Islet, inalienable part of Korea.

I see that reporters are political participants over there too. And here's another one I missed:

Pyongyang, July 24 (KCNA) -- A national meeting of anti-U.S. and anti-war activists was reportedly held in Namwon, North Jolla Province on July 16 and 17 under the sponsorship of the Solidarity Council to Oppose the U.S. and War and Demand the Withdrawal of the U.S. Forces from south Korea. It was attended by members of the same solidarity council active in different parts of south Korea, youth and students and artistes.

Artistes!

There were lectures at the meeting under the titles of "Let us usher in an era free from U.S. forces" and "How to greet August 15 for reunification and September 8 for independence".
...
The meeting was followed by an art performance reflecting the will of the participants to wage a vigorous anti-U.S. struggle for independent reunification.

Maybe Jane Fonda was there!

Pondscum Chronicles Update

On a previous Pondscum Chronicles story, Michelle Malkin has an update which includes this beauty:

Brian J. Noggle observes: "When the first words of a personal message are FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE, you know it's a poll-felt communication from a politician."

Daily Snooze

From FR:

"Hey honey, there's a gay Spanish guy on TV saying that we shouldn't be afraid of Arabs."

"That's nice, dear."

Zzzzzz. It's swell that the United Nations has so many goodwill ambassador programs for washed up celebs. Keeps them from hanging about the highways with "Will preen for food" signs.

Break out the pointy toed boots!

There are some roaches that need stomping. Res Ipsa Loquitur:

Mark Steyn has an excellent as always article about the new multiculturism....and its pending death. (link via Instapundit) It also contains some information about the missed opportunities to have stopped Atta, et al, that I'd either forgotten or hadn't read. So I'd thought it would be fun to look at some other possible responses which might've been more effective.

Atta was apparently applying for a substantial 'farm' loan to convert a plane into a crop duster. But he had a problem with the loan officer right off the bat.

The meeting got off to a rocky start when Atta refused to deal with Bryant because she was but a woman.

I've had that happen before, in a variety of settings. The correct response is to be polite but firm, and treat the customer just like everyone else....because that's your job. Besides, it really pisses off the true misogynists.

When it was explained to him that, alas, he wouldn't get the 650 grand in cash that day, Atta threatened to cut Bryant's throat.

Do you:

a) Press the silent alarm, and insist on filing charges for terroristic threatening and/or assault?
b) Educate the speaker about the advisability of bringing a knife to a gun fight?
c) Lean slightly forward, look the speaker directly in the eyes and say in a firm voice "You and what army?"
d) All of the above.

D is the better answer, though any of A-C are acceptable. Continuing the paperwork to give the speaker a loan is not.

More by following the link, but the creepy "multicultural sensitivity" of the bureaucrat was always one of the more bizarre aspects of the 9/11 story.

The point of Steyn's article is that there are hopeful signs that that sort of blind obliviousness to imminent danger is a thing of the past. About damn time too, because the Islamic wingnuts aren't shy about their intentions, either abroad or at home:

In Washington, D.C., politics dominate even the most casual conversations. During a cab ride home from the movies, the cabbie remarked: "Bush used the wrong word when he said 'crusade.' That upset a lot of Muslims. You have no idea how many Muslims there are all around you. They will riot. You are in the heart of it ... where you live. You see, if there is a war, they will riot." He pointed out the window to a hill decorated with a large wooden cross. "I will see you there."

"What do you mean you will see me there?"

He dismissed the question with a wave of his hand. Awkwardness hung in the air.

Don't be late, pal.

Of course, there are the jihad apologist groups who are perpetually aggrieved that anyone might actually suspect unassimilated wingnuts of plotting mayhem. Here's some Friendly advice to peaceful Muslims:

There is a fast closing window of opportunity for the large majority of "peaceful Muslims" living in the United States and the United Kingdom.

It is long past time for those Muslims who are not complicit with these radical Islamic clerics and their disciples who are preaching violence and hatred toward your host countries to actively get involved in exposing them.

You are in the best position to know who these fanatics are. They live among you. They use your mosques to preach, teach and inspire young Muslims.
...
Thousands of innocent people have been killed in Islamic terrorist attacks in the last 30-plus years. These attacks have occurred all over the world.

The one constant has been they were inspired and executed by Muslims. Islamic fundamentalists are like parasites. They feed off the body of Muslim communities living among us. It does not take a rocket scientist to see what must be done. If the "peaceful" majority of Muslims do not begin to actively and vigorously expose the radicals in their communities, then we, the people of the United States and United Kingdom, will have to do it for them.

We are tired of the "peaceful" Muslims sitting by and doing nothing to expose the disciples preaching hate and jihad in their mosques. There is almost a silent admiration of these fanatics on the part of some. Many allow their financial contributions to be used by the jihad preachers.

We are getting weary of organizations like CAIR, the Council on American-Islamic Relations, crying about civil-rights violations when law enforcement organizations seek to carry on surveillance of Muslim communities. Since Muslims do not police themselves against the Islamic fundamentalist parasites, we must.

Our intelligence forces all warn that it is only a matter of time before Islamic terrorist will attack our cities with weapons of mass destruction. This includes everything from nuclear to biological bombs.

When one of these attacks happens, a flood of rage will burst forth, and nothing or anyone will be able to stop it. The law of the jungle will take over. Muslim communities who did nothing to stop the radicals among them will be the first targets.

So now is the time for the peaceful Muslims to get actively involved in exposing these radical parasites that use your mosques to recruit and train your sons and daughters for jihad. Let your voices be heard in unreserved condemnation of their savage outrages. Prove that you are Americans who believe in a peaceful practice of Islam. Cooperate with legal authorities before it is too late to plead your civil rights.

The time is late. The "jihadist timetable" is counting down toward a major attack. Help your fellow Americans stop them before a catastrophe strikes us all and ignites an unstoppable holocaust.

And that's the long and the short of it.

Today's Hoot!

Michael Kane at the NY Post test drives a Hummer Crusher around Manhattan:

Hummers are for wussies.

That's right, I said it.

Who's sweating a Humvee when you're behind the wheel of the ultimate monster mobile — the International CXT?

This behemoth stands a towering 12 feet, six inches above the ground. It weighs a pavement-crushing 25,999 pounds (purposefully just one pound less than commercial-vehicle classification). And it takes a stegosaurus' worth of fossil fuel to top off its 70-gallon tank.

And yes, it's street-legal.
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Mine is the first to menace the mean streets of Manhattan.

Wheeling around TriBeCa on Friday, I got more shouts, whistles and cellphone pics than a supermodel in fishnets. Who cares that it gets only nine miles a gallon?
...
Looming above three lanes of cabs, you're actually sitting higher than the roof of an SUV. You look down on Greyhound drivers. And aside from a McDonald's drive-through or bank window, you can take the CXT anywhere, even off-road with four-wheel drive.

"The thing about this truck is, it's totally safe because all the other drivers on the road stop to stare," said Shaune Swift, the unofficial test driver at Mid-Atlantic.

The spare tire weighs 90 lbs.