The Arch Druid spares a few pearls of wisdom

Archbishop hits out at web-based media 'nonsense':

THE Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, has criticised the new web-based media for “paranoid fantasy, self-indulgent nonsense and dangerous bigotry”. He described the atmosphere on the world wide web as a free-for-all that was “close to that of unpoliced conversation”.

And the problem with "unpoliced conversation" is what, exactly?

I wonder if Bob Geldof has been invited?

Things have been a tad hectic around here lately, but I've been checking my mail and I still haven't gotten an invitation to Bob and Gracie's big hoedown - Mugabes' £1m party as millions face starvation:

ROBERT Mugabe and his wife Grace are this weekend preparing for a lavish wedding anniversary celebration by approving a guest list that includes the names of African leaders seeking massive debt relief for their impoverished countries.

The party is in August but I guess you can't start too early for a big shindig like this. A list of the leaders includes:

Several Southern African regional leaders are expected to attend, including best man at the wedding, former Mozambican president Joachim Chissano. Namibian President Hifikepunye Pohamba, his Tanzanian counterpart Benjamin Mkapa and former South African president Nelson Mandela and his wife Graca Machel have also cracked invites. “It’s not expected that President Thabo Mbeki will come, but an ANC delegation will ...

Nice of them to take time out from counting their foreign aid bucks. But back to the original story:

"It will be a classy, royal-like occasion," a government source said in Harare. "The Mugabes will be driven from a church service at Kutama Mission outside Harare where they were married in August 1996 in an open Rolls-Royce with horses in front. That's how they want it."

One can't help but wonder if the horses are actually pulling the Rolls. And wearing diapers.

Plans for the lavish celebrations in August have been confirmed as millions of Zimbabweans face starvation. This year the country was forced to import millions of tons of grain, most of it corn from neighbouring countries.

The all-day party will be partly paid for by President Mugabe - one of Africa's wealthiest men - partly by impoverished Zimbabwean taxpayers and partly by local companies seeking to stay in business at a time when the words "ethnic cleansing" are never far away from the lips of European, Asian and middle-class African businesspeople.

It's great that everyone is chipping in! But heck, loves springs eternal for Bob and Gracie:

Grace Mugabe is 40 years younger than her husband. The couple met when President Mugabe was still a married man.

His first wife, Ghanaian-born Sally Mugabe, died in 1992 and 40 days of national mourning was declared. Then rumours started that the austere Catholic-educated Mugabe had been having an affair for years with a State House security operative, Grace Marufa.

Robert Mugabe fathered two children with her - Robert Jnr (now 18) and Bona, who is 16. The children were presented to almost 30,000 wedding guests at the end of August 1996. Since then the couple have had a third child.

They got married when the kids were teenagers and the first wife was only four years dead? Naughty Bobby and Gracie! Also her being a "State House security operative" is a lttle vague - most reports are that Gracie was his secretary. And what a piece of work she is - check out Hanging out with Zim's First Shopper:

AT HOME in Zimbabwe more than seven million of her people are starving. But as Robert Mugabe's wife Grace strolled around the most exclusive boutiques in Paris recently, the plight of the hungry and dying was the last thing on her mind.

Hiding behind £180 Christian Dior sunglasses and with a £25,000 diamond-encrusted Rolex hanging off her wrist, the First Lady of Zimbabwe spent a day doing what she does best - shopping.

Much, much more by following the link including "a home dubbed Gracelands", but the best line is:

Asked recently how she justified travelling to Europe to spend thousands on Ferragamo shoes while her people starved, she replied simply: "I have very narrow feet, so I wear only Ferragamo."

Well, gosh, that's all right then!