Thursday, April 21, 2005

Remember, kids! You can't spell fun without the UN!

Muppets Come Under Oil-For-Food Scrutiny:
Authorities believe that Muppet proximity to the UN Secretary General and his wife make for "very strange bedfellows." Two of the five Muppets pictured here are expected to be indicted this week. Mr. Annan remains above indictment because of congenital stupidity.
Actually, it's satire, but it's hard to tell these days as more United Nations scalawags get revealed every day. What would you expect when the operative philosophy at the UN seems to be "If it moves, screw it. If it doesn't move, steal it" and the head honcho, Kofi Annan, claims to be "exonerated" because he never noticed all the raping and plundering going on around him.

Of course, that was cast into some doubt too after Roger Simon revealed that two of the three field investigators on Paul Volcker's team resigned because the Volcker committee was letting Kofi off the hook.

Then there's Deputy Secretary General Louise Frechette. who personally intervened to keep the Oil-for-Food program from being audited and Kofi's bosom chum and Special UN Envoy to the Korean Peninsula, Maurice Strong, who just "suspended his work" after turning out to be a business partner of one of the shady characters in the Oil-for-Food racket.

Gosh, with all these hijinks going on, you'd think the Mainstream Media would be circling like sharks. They're circling all right, but what they are circling are the wagons. Hey, they wouldn't want to do anything embarassing like report that Emperor Kofi is up to his neck in scandal - they might get kicked off the gravy train at the UN Correspondents Association. Besides, ole Kofi has some heap big plans:
Yet more scandal at the United Nations? Secret deals, millions in bribes, leading to billions in global kickbacks? What to do?

Have no fear, reform is here. The United Nations has already put in place a sweeping set of improvements, with Secretary-General Kofi Annan reorganizing and streamlining the world body to bring about, according to a U.N. reform dossier, "a culture of greater openness, coherence, innovation and confidence."
[yadda, yadda]
All of which sounds terrific. Except that the reforms cited above, heralding the new era of openness, coherence, competence, integrity and improved peacekeeping are all plucked from a U.N. dossier released almost three years ago, in June 2002. These reforms were shepherded through by Mr. Annan starting in the late 1990s, with the help of his handpicked special adviser, Undersecretary-General Maurice Strong.
Bwahaha! They sure worked out good, didn't they! And it's ole Maurice Strong turning up again like a bad penny. You can't make this stuff up!