Wednesday's Daily Dose of Earth Summit Hijinks
It seems to have been scare day at the circus. Out on the midway, the Jo'burg cops were warned about the dangers of prostitutes. " 'If, during your working days you get one, please don't just go anywhere,' WSSD security forces chief co-ordinator Scott Landu said." Perhaps he could show some of those old army films?

Up on the high wire, the International Energy Agency astounded the audience with Earth facing electricity crisis. No word yet from Gray Davis.

In the main tent, the World Bank chimed in with a dire warning. It's not entirely clear what specifically they're warning about, but "rich countries" must "take immediate and dramatic action". Somehow, I think retiring Bobby Mugabe wasn't on their list, but anything much short of that kind of dramatic action isn't going to do any good.

Then the car full of clowns rolled up at the pre-summit conference of Non-Governmental Organizations (NGO's) where speakers "slammed the 'double standards' of developed countries whom they said were chiefly responsible for ravaging the world's resources, and increasing global poverty". The blather was coming from "Lucas Mufumadi, the chief of the South African NGO coalition SANGOCO" who "trenchantly criticised developed countries for shirking their responsibilities". Why do I think that "responsibilities" means transfers to Lucas' bank account?

Sadly, the clowns weren't at full strength, because the EU had not coughed up enough cash for all the other African NGO delegates to travel. "Emad Adby, an African delegation management committee member, said on Tuesday: 'I was on the point of calling a media conference announcing Africa's withdrawal from the conference. If this happens, the summit will fail.' " Zzzzzz.

Finally, the South African president officially opened up the side shows at Ubuntu Village. Nominally an exhibition of sustainable development ideas (see the amazing tin can wall), it sounds more like a flea market: "The Village is also home to the Department of Arts, Culture, Science and Technology and the Arts and Craft Imbizo, located at the heart of the village. Here, African culture, arts and crafts will be marketed in the 200 stalls." I wonder if they have corn dogs?