Today's Hoot!


(From Rapmaster Rodger)

Actually, it is beginning to look like Lurch's definition of "served together" is considerably more flexible than he has been letting on. Check out the latest doings at the Captain's Quarters and also this FR post. Of course, Lurch could clear up all the inconsistencies if he would just release all his military records like President Bush did. C'mon, Lurch, what do you have to hide?


(Click for the form. Graphic from Iowa Presidential Watch)

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 10:59 AM -

 
Zut alors!


(Snap from Sacred Cow Burgers. Click to supersize.)

Get out yer Kumbaya party hats as the LA Times provides French Town Quietly Cheers On a Son: Kerry:

ST.-BRIAC-SUR-MER, France — Imagine the scene here a year from now if this genteel village enters U.S. history.

On Aug. 15, 2005, President John F. Kerry returns with great fanfare to St.-Briac-sur-Mer, where his parents met and where he spent childhood vacations in a Breton coastal landscape immortalized by Renoir.

Escorted by his cousin, Mayor Brice Lalonde — a former candidate for the French presidency — Kerry leads the celebration of the 61st anniversary of the Allied liberation of the village from the Nazis.

Speaking fluent French, Kerry greets crowds filling narrow lanes and a town plaza festooned with flags of both nations. Kerry announces that he has chosen this community of 2,000, a cherished refuge of his globe-trotting family since 1923, to symbolize the rapprochement of the United States and France — indeed, Europe — after years of transatlantic tension.

Er, why? So we can snuggle up with the disgusting crap weasel French politicians that feed off the victims of oppression around the world from Darfur to Iraq and beyond?

But not to worry, the serfs are thrilled!

"I was so very, very happy when he succeeded in becoming the candidate," said Christiane Menard, whose parents worked for the Democratic senator's maternal family in its bluff-top mansion with a spectacular view of rocky beaches. "Johnny was a great kid. He has a lot of determination."

Yeah, to weasel his way to the top.

There's some predictable whining about French-bashing and some gag-inducing history of Kerry's noble family in the area, but I liked the part about his cousin the best:

On the other hand, some locals grumble that they're pretty much fed up with television cameras prowling around town. Voyer also complains that the Kerry splash has further distracted Lalonde from the people's business. The mayor lives in Paris and spends one or two days a week at City Hall.

Lalonde, a self-described free-market environmentalist, served as environment minister in the 1980s and won 4% of the vote as the presidential candidate of an environmental party, Ecology Generation. Lalonde attended the Democratic National Convention in Boston last month, then jetted off to China, Voyer and others said.

Lalonde was away on vacation and unavailable for interviews last week, City Hall officials said.

Kind of like Kerry's Senate career. Must run in the family.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 9:42 AM -

 
I guess being gay means never having to say you're a crook

The NY Daily News opines Hit the road, McGreevey:

New Jersey Republican leaders yesterday called for Gov. Jim McGreevey to step down immediately rather than wait for Nov. 15, as he plans. This more-than-reasonable request was quickly denounced by the gov's spokeswoman, who sniffed: "It is unfortunate that they are playing politics with an intensely personal decision." Come again? That's exactly what McGreevey is doing.

Do not be taken in by that heart-rending performance in this week's reality-TV special ("Straight Lie for the Queer Guy"?) in which he admitted to a life of public and private deception and proudly declared, "I am a gay American." It was all politics, people, a thoroughly scripted performance and a deflection, if only momentary, of attention from the scandals swirling around him.

Here's a test: what would the usual suspects say if it was a female paramour he had appointed to a noshow job as NJ Homeland Security Director? Oh wait, he's a Democrat. Never mind.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 8:25 AM -

 
Today's Hoot

The Florida Cracker (who may be underwater about now) observes:

On Christmas in Cambodia:

"What are Americans to make of a presidential candidate whose life-altering moment was a figment of his imagination?"

John Kerry, the drama queen.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 5:51 PM -

 
Maybe it was part of the job description?



Watching Kerry's handlers try to get him out of the "Christmas in Cambodia" fabrication reminded me of his old pal from the Vietnam Veterans Against the War, Al Hubbard, who famously appeared on Meet the Press with Kerry. Al was the Executive Director of the VVAW and claimed to be a decorated Air Force officer wounded in Vietnam. As David Skinner observed:

John Kerry seems to have had a way of eluding the bad odor that clings to his old associates. On "Meet the Press" in 1971, he appeared with VVAW member Al Hubbard, a veteran who was exposed around this time for lying about his rank and combat experience (he had seen no combat). While this confirmed suspicions about the dubious identities of many of the winter soldiers, it didn't keep Kerry from becoming famous. The young politician was able to have his cake and eat it, too, becoming the establishment, patriotic face of a radical, anti-patriotic movement. Quite a trick, really.

Even a slick trick only works for a while.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 7:37 AM -

 
Shucks, I just thought he was a crook

N.J. Governor Resigns, Admits Gay Affair:

In a stunning declaration, Gov. James E. McGreevey announced his resignation Thursday and acknowledged that he had an affair with another man. "My truth is that I am a gay American," he said with his wife by his side at a nationally televised news conference.

"Shamefully, I engaged in adult consensual affairs with another man, which violates my bonds of matrimony," the twice-married father of two said. "It was wrong, it was foolish, it was inexcusable."

McGreevey, a Democrat, said his resignation would be effective Nov. 15.

Let's all break out our crying towels! Spoons is even predicting that Andrew Sullivan will get out of the hammock!


But wait, there's more!

Two sources close to McGreevey, both speaking on condition of anonymity, said the man involved in the affair was Golan Cipel, an Israeli poet who worked briefly for the governor as a homeland security adviser despite having no security experience.

More on ole Golan and his spectacular lack of qualifications here including the fact that he used to work for McGreevey's chief fundraiser, Charles Kushner before McGreevey's election. And who's Kushner (first link)?:

Among those caught up in recent scandals were his first chief of staff and former counsel; a top Democratic fund-raiser and former high school classmate; and real estate developer Charles Kushner, McGreevey's biggest campaign contributor, who was charged with trying to thwart a federal campaign-finance investigation by luring a grand jury witness — his own brother-in-law — into a compromising position with a prostitute and sending video and photos to the man's wife.

And what the heck, after Golan got booted from his gig securing the homeland, he ended up back with Kushner. Kevin McCullough, take it away (8/12, 5:01 PM):

SOME CLARITY: ABC 7 in New York is doing a completely one-sided form of reporting on the matter. They are playing reaction from supposedly "spontaneous" reactions from New Jerseyans. The problem is - they are only playing reaction that is all the same - "supportive" and "personal life has nothing to do with his job" type of reaction.

The only thing is - there is more to this.
...
It gets more interesting...Mr. Cipel, when he had resigned his post as New Jersey Homeland Security Director went to work for Charles Kushner who was formerly the chief fund raiser for McGreevey. Kushner was indicted 3 weeks ago on corruption charges in a case involving a New Jersey farm deal in which it is reported that McGreevey would speak in code with the owner of the farm to indicate his decision on which way he was leaning. The indictment stated that the Governor would use terms from Machiavelli. On three seperate occassions the feds wired up the farms owner and captured audio of McGreevey doing just that.

Mr. Kushner's indictment named Public Official one as being involved in the scandal but did not name McGreevey by name. What is unclear is...

Did Mr. Kushner - who already had a history of sending prostitutes to people as a way of entrapment and blackmail - decide to turn the sex wedge against McGreevey in exchange for the Governor refusing to pardon him in the federal investigation? Certainly with Cipel working with Kushner the idea and goods would have been known and discussed in terms of ways that kind of plot could be pulled off...

Kushner is also a heavy fundraiser for Hillary Clinton, Chuck Schumer, and has even raised funds for John Kerry...

My, my. They certainly have fun in the land of Torricelli!

Oh yeah, McGreedy's resignation on November 15 prevents a special election where there might be some possibility that the Democrats would be tossed out of the statehouse before 2005.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 10:01 PM -

 
More fun with the sensitive one



From Sacred Cow Burgers.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 8:35 PM -

 
Fun with the Sensitive One

Kerry calls for restoring America's image abroad:

"We have terrorists who want to destroy us," he said. "I understand how to fight. I defended this country as a young man, and I intend to do so as president.

Aside from the fact that most of his "wounds" were self-inflicted and his "fighting" was done with his mouth, didn't he forget the all the fun stuff he did when he got back? Which is it, Lurch? Are you a "war hero" or an "antiwar hero?"

"I know the way to fight a smart war on terror," said Kerry. "You have the best intelligence in the world by creating cooperation, understand cultures, have people on the ground, have people working with you."

I guess he wants them to hold "encounter sessions." Of course, that's about all they could do after Lurch got through cutting the intelligence budget.

Creating cooperation, he said, means "listening to other people and other people's problems, it's having a trading policy that is fair...it's not walking away from the global warming treaty some worked on 10 years, it's paying your dues to the United nations.

Aside from the fact the Lurch was on the winning side of the Senate's 95-0 vote against the Kyoto Treaty in 1997, can anyone over the age of 12 really think this limp-wristed Kumbaya stuff is going to work on rabid Islamofascist wingnuts? Here's a test - it if wouldn't have worked on Hitler, it isn't going to work on Osama. Aw, forget it - Lurch probably thinks it would have worked on Hitler if Chamberlain and Roosevelt had been more "sensitive" to little Adolf and had listened to his problems.

As a refreshing counterpoint:

“America has been in too many wars for any of our wishes, but not a one of them was won by being sensitive.” — Dick Cheney

(Via On the Third Hand)

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 8:06 AM -

 
Hey, it's worth a try




And no worse than this stuff.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 10:05 PM -

 
It actually is just like the movies!

I had this snap from LGF reader Mark R. in a post below, but it is even more relevant now:




Instapundit comes up with a Boston Herald interview with Lurch in 1979:

But what's really interesting is the context -- see the full scan here -- which is all about Kerry's Vietnam experiences as they relate to Francis Ford Coppola's Apocalypse Now. Unlike Al Gore and Love Story, Kerry doesn't claim that the movie is about him -- but he sure draws parallels. In fact, the passage that everyone has been quoting actually reads like this, when you include the prior sentence that people haven't been including:

On more than one occasion, I, like Martin Sheen in "Apocalypse Now," took my patrol boat into Cambodia

In fact, I remember spending Christmas Day of 1968 five miles across the Cambodian border being shot at by our South Vietnamese Allies who were drunk and celebrating Christmas. The absurdity of almost being killed by our own allies in a country in which President Nixon claimed there were no American troops was very real. But nowhere in "Apocalypse Now" did I sense that kind of absurdity.

So Kerry's Vietnam experience was like Apocalypse Now, only it was more so.

Bwahaha! Ole Lurchster sure had a busy 4 months. Of course, he was on a Swift Boat, not the smaller PBR in the movie that you would use to go way upstream, but that's just another pesky detail.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 6:29 PM -

 
Help the veracity challenged!

In the previous posts I've been trying to help Lurch out with a better Christmas story than he seems able to come up with on his own. Now over at Mudville Gazette, Greyhawk is holding the First Annual John Kerry Fan Fiction Contest. (Surely he means Nonfiction!) In any case, here's part of the first entry:

The fog was thick as pea soup as we made our way across the border, but it muffled the sounds of the boat as we entered Cambodia. That was good, because our business there was anything but good.

"I wish you'd take that damn blindfold off." I whispered to the skipper.

"I learned to sail this way, hombre." He replied. His parrot sat silently on his shoulder. The bird spoke three languages but was not using any of them now.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 5:39 PM -

 
That explains it!

Kerry's Teleportation Revelation Shocks World

In stunning announcement, candidate blows lid off top secret Pentagon project

By V.K. Bestertester, Staff Writer

FRESNO, CA — In a shocking revelation, John Kerry exposed a decades-old Department of Defense secret: Matter teleportation devices have been in use by the US Navy since at least 1968.

Above: Kerry Shown Entering Teleporter

"The Navy sent me on a top-secret mission into Cambodia using one of these thingys." Kerry revealed. "They wanted to slip me and some Special Forces guys across the border without anyone, even my shipmates, knowing about it. So, they brought this device out on to the river on Christmas Eve 1968. We were anchored about 50 miles from the Cambodian border at the time. I was ordered to go the the roof of my Swift Boat with my hookah, er, tape recorder and just close my eyes. Next thing I know, there's a buzzing sound and poof! I was in Cambodia."

The specifics, design, even the outward appearance of the device is unclear to Kerry. "It was awfully dark out there, and I couldn't see much. The spooks explained this needed to done under cover so nobody would be able to verify the story. Nixon wanted this kept hush-hush, and even though he wasn't president yet, he exerted real influence over the Military Industrial Complex. The place they sent us must've been pretty hot, because the moment I materialized, we began taking fire from the Vietnamese and Khmer Rouge and Cambodians. Sure enough, Nixon denied I was there."

More by following the link.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 5:15 PM -

 
Just like in the movies!

LGF reader Mark R. helps Lurch out with his secret Christmas Cambodia mission since he didn't take his movie camera along.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 5:07 PM -

 
It's Pop Quiz Time!

OK kids, which one is fake?



Answer here.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 1:05 PM -

 
More Christmas Stories

James Lileks:

Hugh Hewitt interviewed a shipmate of John Kerry’s on his show today; the transcript is here. Why this happens on a radio show and not in the Washington Post is a question I’ll let you decide. It’s not like these guys live in the Fortress of Solitude, accessible only by messages relayed by carrier pigeon.

Actually, it's more like the Wicked Witch of the West's castle in Oz.

It has to do with Christmas in Cambodia – the only aspect of the SwiftVets story I care to comment on, for reasons I think I stated before. If Kerry’s story is a lie, it’s significant, but not because we have a gotcha moment – gee, a politician reworked the truth to his advantage, big surprise. This is much larger than that. This is like Bush insisting that he flew an intercept mission with the Texas Air National Guard to repel Soviet bombers based in Cuba, and later stating that this event was “seared in his memory – seared” because it taught him the necessity of standing up against evil governments, such as the ones we face today. In other words, it would not only be a lie, but one that eroded the political persona he was relying upon in the election. Kerry has made Vietnam central to his campaign. If he’s making crap up, it matters. But the story of the CIA agent he ferried into the Heart of Darkness gives the gotcha a curious twist; as lawyers say on TV courtroom dramas, it goes to state of mind. What sort of man bedecked with genuine decorations feels compelled to manufacture a story like this one?

Maybe the kind who bought a movie camera to film re-enactments of his "exploits" and gamed the system for his medals?

Lileks has more as does the Instapundit.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 1:02 PM -

 
Hey, this is just as believeable

Kerry Camp Defends Tale of Xmas Mission to Island of Misfit Toys

In a later recollection during a 1991 Senate floor speech denouncing the Gulf War, Kerry said he was recruited for the secret holiday mission during a Bob Hope USO Christmas special.

"Hope was Nixon's shadow CIA station chief in Saigon," said Kerry. "During a skit with Phyllis Diller, he blinked a morse code message that I was to take his covert bikini go-go girl assassination squad to the Arctic to take out the a nest of Khmer Blanc."

The illegal mission was "seared, seared into my memory," said Kerry, who used it as an example of how war corrupts government officials.

"There I was, strafing helpless misfit toys with Joey Heatherton, Jill St. John, Lola Falana and Raquel Welch," said Kerry. "Our fire dispersed the insurgents, and I could have shot several of the fleeing toys in the back, but I didn't. Down in Saigon they say, my small heart grew three sizes that day."

In a 2003 Washington Post profile, Kerry even displayed a souvenir from the mission.

"Who told you about this? Even my friends don't know about it," said Kerry, pulling a musty fur bikini top from a secret compartment in his attache case. Kerry said it was "a good luck charm" given to him by covert CIA agent Nancy Sinatra.

Putting on the bra, Kerry formed his hands into pantomime guns.

"Pow! Kapow! k-k-k-k-brrrudda brrrudda shpeww!" he added, blowing imaginary smoke from his fingertips.

It's Iowahawk.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 9:09 AM -

 
Flying Monkey Alert!

Free pass on Democratic legends:

Minutes before John Kerry marched into the Fleet Center to accept the Democratic nomination, CBS reporter Byron Pitts pulled out the intimate personal information: "Senator Kerry is a very superstitious man. Just before he steps into the hall, he will do what he has always done before a major moment in his life. He will make a Sign of the Cross, then kiss the St. Christopher medallion his mother gave him as a child."

What, no lucky CIA hat?

Aside from the confusion of religion and superstition, there is one obvious question for viewers: How does Pitts know this is true? Even if it is true, it's also true that no other reporter has passed this regimen along. A search of the massive Nexis database shows no mention of Kerry's St. Christopher medallion in the last two years, and there's no sign of it in the whole Nexis sample of the Boston Globe.

After the speech, CBS's Pitts resumed serving up the humanizing Kerry spin: "Earlier, as the family was preparing to leave John Kerry's home in Boston, I'm told he whispered to his sister, remember the words of our mother on her deathbed when she said, 'John,' knowing he would run for president some day, 'remember, John, integrity, that's what matters.' Tonight, John Kerry tried to show that integrity."

I'm humming "When the Saints Go Marching In" myself.

Hey, maybe Byron is just a crappy reporter, despite holding down a gig with "prestigous" CBS. Let's see what else he has been up to.

In May, a group called Swift Boat Veterans for Truth held a press conference at the National Press Club to express their opposition to Kerry's war stories and his presidential campaign. ABC and NBC ignored them. Guess which reporter arrived to besmirch them? None other than CBS reporter Byron Pitts, the man passing on whispered tales of Kerry family integrity.

Gosh, I sure am surprised at that!

There's an obvious pattern here. Print the legend about the Democrat, and don't investigate. When the Democrat's critics try to object, denounce them in personal terms, and investigate them and their dastardly plots instead.

Now, many months after Kerry began touting his Vietnam adventures as proof of his qualifications for the White House, the Swift Boat vets have released a book and have made an ad full of Kerry's Vietnam comrades suggesting his stories are false. Are they right? If these soldiers -- and there are over 200 of them -- are telling the truth, Kerry is a national disgrace who shouldn't be allowed a visitor's pass to the White House, never mind the presidency.

What's depressing here for the American people is that the "mainstream press" is so relentlessly partisan that they have so utterly failed to see it as their job to explore the full biography of a man who stands a very decent chance of becoming the next president.

Since 1999, this national press corps devoted weeks to unproven charges and shadowy assertions that George W. Bush was hiding things about his service in the Texas Air National Guard. This national press corps has treated every nasty Democratic soft-money group and Michael Moore in-kind contribution to the Kerry campaign as just a sign of great liberal vigor. The Kerry war stories were their test to see if they're reliable watchdogs or if they're just another coordinated part of the Democratic campaign machine. The results are in.

They are indeed.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 8:24 AM -

 
Take that, all you doubters!

Photographic proof that Lurch really was in Cambodia at Christmas!




From cadethappy.com. While you're there, scroll down to see Lurch modeling his extra special, super secret "CIA hat."

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 7:24 AM -

 
Where did they find these two?

Mark Noonan (with some enhancements of my own):

I wish I was making this up, but I'm not:

Here's what Teresa Kerry had to say in Missouri:

"We don't have to fear being hung from a lamppost or shot or sent to jail. Not yet. Not yet. And please God, not ever," she said.

You can't help but wonder if a change in Teresa's medication is in order.

That is the paranoid bit; here now the delusional part from John Kerry:

"My friends, the harsh fact now is that in the last election, more than 1 million African-Americans were disenfranchised in one of the most tainted elections in history.

If there were really 1 million disenfranchised voters, it ought to be easy to get some proof together. How about it, Lurch? Or did they all take off to spend Christmas in Cambodia?

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 10:18 PM -

 
He was after Colonel Kurtz!

The Freepers come up with a beauty from the WaPo - John Kerry: Hunter, Dreamer, Realist:

And who is he, really?

A close associate hints: There's a secret compartment in Kerry's briefcase. He carries the black attaché everywhere. Asked about it on several occasions, Kerry brushed it aside. Finally, trapped in an interview, he exhaled and clicked open his case.

"Who told you?" he demanded as he reached inside. "My friends don't know about this."

The hat was a little mildewy. The green camouflage was fading, the seams fraying.

"My good luck hat," Kerry said, happy to see it. "Given to me by a CIA guy as we went in for a special mission in Cambodia."

Kerry put on the hat, pulling the brim over his forehead. His blue button-down shirt and tie clashed with the camouflage. He pointed his finger and raised his thumb, creating an imaginary gun. He looked silly, yet suddenly his campaign message was clear: Citizen-soldier. Linking patriotism to public service. It wasn't complex after all; it was Kerry.

He smiled and aimed his finger: "Pow."

I guess if he told 'em, he had to kill 'em afterward.

The article is clearly intended as a puff piece, but has more personal oddities than you can shake a stick at. Read the whole thing and see if you can imagine this Fruit Loop as Commander in Chief.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 11:03 AM -

 
"Not to worry - the Flying Monkeys will handle it"

Washington Prowler (last item):

According to a Kerry campaign source, senior campaign advisers tasked two Washington-based campaign staffers to vet the recently published Unfit for Command.

"The purpose was to compare what that book had with what we had on file from Senator Kerry," says the campaign source, who said that the research project developed more than 75 instances where Kerry's recollections, previous remarks, or writings conflicted with the book's reporting.

"We took some of the most glaring examples, like the Christmas in Cambodia story, and presented them to senior staff, and we assume that those things were put in front of Senator Kerry," says the source. "We haven't heard a word about it. All we were told is that it was being taken care of."

The campaign source said that the book was not considered a "serious" problem for the campaign, because, "the media wouldn't have the nerve to come at us with this kind of stuff," says the source. "The senior staff believes the media is committed to seeing us win this thing, and that the convention inoculated us from these kinds of stories. The senior guys really think we don't have a problem here."

It's not that the information is untrue, it's that the media will handle it on the candidate's behalf because they want Lurch to win. I'm shocked at that news.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 9:42 AM -

 
I can't keep track of all Lurch's Christmas stories

Mark Steyn provides one that's new (to me at least):

Just one problem. It never happened. Every living officer up his chain of command says Kerry was never ordered to Cambodia. At least three of his five crewmen say their boat was never in Cambodia. And if you don't believe any of his fellow veterans, read the excerpt from Kerry's own journal published in Tour Of Duty, the recent hagiography by Douglas Brinkley.

On December 24 1968, Kerry was at Sa Dec – that's well inside Vietnam, 55 miles from the Cambodian border – and waxing wistful to his diary about a quiet Christmas far from home: "Visions of sugarplums really do dance through your head and you think of stockings and snow and roast chestnuts and fires with birch logs and all that is good and warm and real. It's Christmas Eve."

That sure does put a damper on all that "searing illegal mission" stuff that he has been peddling for years.


(click to supersize)

Hat tip: IowaPresidentialWatch.com

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 8:11 AM -

 
Was that when he single-handedly tracked down Colonel Kurtz?



Update: Instapundit and Captain Ed.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 8:06 PM -

 
Here it comes, boys and girls!

A poster at FR noticed that Amazon's listing of the upcoming book Unfit for Command has the "Editorial Review" section headed by John McCain's whine about the Swift Boat Veterans in the television ad not actually serving on the same boat. Amazon wants to hear about "typos" in the their book section at book-typos@amazon.com. I guess they will.

Meanwhile Drudge is featuring a mishap over at Barnes and Noble. Somehow the picture for their listing of "Unfit for Command" got modified to read "Fit for Command" among other changes. They claim hackers. Sure, I believe them. I regularly hack their site to put my picture on book jackets. When is the culprit going to be fired, weasels?

Meanwhile, on ABC's Nightline tonight, they're going to have Jake Tapper reporting on the Swift Boat Veterans. In case you don't remember ole Jake, he's now at ABC "News" after a distinguished career as Salon's designated Bill Clinton buttboy. He also penned a screed called "Down and Dirty: The Plot to Steal the Presidency, (Little, Brown) a look at the Florida recount". Gee I wonder how that turned out? Probably about like the Nightline report.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 6:16 PM -

 
Lurch is late to the party again

Neighborhood watches can fight terror says Democrat

Americans should do more to protect themselves against terrorism by setting up neighborhood watch groups, Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry said Sunday.

Not to worry, Lurch! We're already on the case around here!



(Hat tip: FR)

Update:

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 9:25 AM -

 
Flying Monkey Attack Alert!

You knew it was coming, didn't you?

The Democrat National Committee has prepared a full-scale assault against the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth to draw their character and veracity into question, according to one anonymous source inside the DNC. The campaign of character assassination is scheduled to coincide with the release of the book Unfit for Command which reveals inconvenient facts for the Kerry campaign.

“We have prepared what we call ‘Brown Books’ that contain damaging military records, personal credit histories, medical histories, psychiatric histories, divorce records, you name it,” our source told us. "We've got the goods on the Veterans who oppose Kerry."

Hmmm, sounds like all the stuff that Lurch won't release about himself.

The “Brown Books” are so called because of their distinctive plain brown covers, which contain no words. Some books have already been delivered to Kerry-friendly reporters. Others are on their way, our source told us. When asked if we could have a copy, our source declined, saying there is a limited number of “Brown Books” and they have been carefully inventoried to control in whose hands the books ended up.

Ultimately the “Brown Books” will end up in the hands of pro-Kerry news agencies and reporters. According to our source, who demanded to remain anonymous for fear of retribution, The New York Times is already on the hook to run a negative series on the Vets, as is the Boston Globe, which is owned by the Times.

The "B" Team has already had a go with the Globe's Mikey Kranish getting spanked for his lame try and George Soros' sock puppets at Media Matters having their employee, so-called "blogger" Duncan "Atrios" Black, write a hit piece.

In addition, the DNC has deployed a six member team from their press shop whose sole responsibility will be to spin and counter-spin stories about the members of Swift Boat Veterans for Truth with pro-Kerry media entities, like the Times.

Bubba had his "bimbo eruption" team, Why does every modern Democrat need a team of spinners for when they get caught with their pants down?

When asked if this was just another example of John Kerry slandering Vietnam Vets – like he did in 1971 as a member of the Vietnam Veterans Against the War – our source snapped, “No! This is warfare. The only way we’re going to get out of this is to force everyone to question their motives and credibility.”

Where's Carville to starting foaming at the mouth about dragging money through a trailer court?

But the Flying Monkeys have two problems. First this isn't a solitary young woman making the claim. This is a group of Naval officers and sailors. It's much harder to say they all lied, but Lurch is telling the truth. Second, some of Lurch's Vietnam tales are already easily demonstrated to be bogus on their face. How about the risible "Christmas in Cambodia?". Captain Ed (also see the later posts) is all over this one and the InstaPundit is photoblogging the Congressional Record.

Still the Swift Boat Vets are in for a lot of nasty mudslinging. Yeah, I guess we do know "what John Kerry is made of." Pond scum.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 8:33 AM -

 
Deconstructing Kerry's war record

Bob Novak:

The television ad that aroused the wrath of John McCain and journalist supporters of John Kerry just begins deconstruction of the Democratic presidential candidate's war record. Unfit for Command: Swift Boat Veterans Speak Out Against John Kerry, a 214-page critique of his performance in Vietnam and the antiwar movement, is off the presses ahead of schedule.

I have read the book and found it is neither the political propaganda nor the urban legend that its detractors claim. It is a passionate but meticulously researched account of how Kerry went to war, what he did in the war and how he conducted himself after the war. The very serious charges by former comrades deserve answers but so far have produced only ad hominem counterattacks.

Why should details of what Kerry did more than 30 years ago be part of this election campaign? Only because the senator has made them integral to his strategy. Kerry as war hero received more attention at the Democratic National Convention than plans for the future. Thus, what he did in his shortened four months of combat becomes a valid campaign issue.

John E. O'Neill, co-author of Unfit for Command, replaced Kerry as commander of swift boat PCF 94 in 1969 and has been confronting him since 1971. O'Neill told me he is no George W. Bush partisan and probably would have supported John Edwards had he been nominated for president but is committed to keeping Kerry out of the Oval Office. Thus, reversing the usual formulation, the assault on Kerry is personal but not political.

To know Lurch is to love him.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 7:35 AM -

 
They'll have 'em shaking in their sandals!


(click the pic to supersize)

Edwards walks fine line on Iraq votes:

ZANESVILLE, OHIO -- It is John Edwards' Clint Eastwood moment and one of his biggest applause lines.

"This is not a Democratic message or a Republican message," Edwards, the Democratic candidate for vice president, said at a late-night rally in Ohio last weekend. "This is an American message to al-Qaeda and all the terrorists around the world. You cannot run. You cannot hide. We will destroy you."

"USA! USA! USA!" a crowd of 10,000 chanted at the floodlit Muskingum County Courthouse.

The tough words are designed to reassure swing voters that a Democratic administration under Sen. John Kerry could deal with terrorists and the war in Iraq.

But Edwards' record on those matters as a North Carolina senator is more nuanced than his campaign rhetoric would suggest.

Well, there's a big honking surprise! These guys have nuance to spare.

"There were only four senators who voted for the war and against paying for it, and two are on the Democratic ticket," Sen. Mitch McConnell, a Republican from Kentucky, said in an interview. "I have watched Kerry and Edwards trying to explain something which cannot be explained."

I'm sure the two super heroes will find a way.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 5:25 PM -

 
Today's Hoot!

No train stop confuses Kerry supporters in Kansas

Democratic vice presidential nominee Sen. John Edwards will return to Lawrence, Kansas, on Sunday for a rally to make amends to hundreds of disappointed supporters.

The supporters had turned out in Lawrence after midnight on Saturday morning, expecting the Kerry-Edwards train to slow or stop so they could get a glimpse of Edwards and Democratic presidential nominee Sen. John Kerry.
...
But Democratic supporters were left bewildered and confused as the train chugged right on by them and kept going. The inadvertent snub was blamed on a late-night miscommunication.

More like the VRWC strikes again!

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 10:29 AM -

 
Do they have the same script writer or what?

Sen. Clinton built life on faith

Although she doesn’t go out of her way to publicize her religious views, neither does she shy from discussing them. Indeed, those who know Sen. Clinton believe her Christian faith has been the motivation for many of the causes she has championed.

Kerry Seeks to Close Democrats' 'Religion Gap'

"I don't wear my own faith on my sleeve, but faith has given me values and hope to live by, from Vietnam to this day, from Sunday to Sunday," Kerry said as he accepted the Democratic presidential nomination.

I wonder what they'll eventually have to say to the "Big Fella?"

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 10:26 AM -

 
Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. Say no more!



The most amazing part of this year's presidential campaign is that the raving leftoid and terminally humorless professional Democrats, having suitably nominated a candidate who has spent his political life doing his darndest to hobble the military and the intelligence agencies, are running on the basis that Lurch's dubious Vietnam war "heroism" means that he'll be a veritable Rambo in dealing with terrorists.

Can you imagine what the moonbats would be saying about a Republican candidate who burned down peaceful villages, executed wounded enemy soldiers, bought a movie camera to re-enact his "exploits," and phonied up a batch of medals? But the moonbats don't seem to mind about that or a host of their other traditional issues on which Kerry seems to be denying his and their political heritage. Hmmm, I wonder why that is?

Jay Bryant - Flip-Flops and Clip-Clops:

A true flip-flopper is inevitably a moderate, but John Kerry is no moderate. You can't be a moderate and also have a lifetime ADA rating in the 90's. ''Higher than Ted Kennedy,'' Republicans are fond of saying. Yes, and higher than any of his rated primary opponents, even Dennis Kucinich and Carole Moseley-Braun. Higher than Al Gore, Walter Mondale, George McGovern, or anyone else the Democrats have ever dared to send before the American people.

Higher than any of his colleagues in the present U.S. Senate. Say it slowly and let the full impact wash over you: John-Kerry-is-the-most-liberal-Senator.

Now, it would be one thing if he wore that label proudly, but he doesn't, because he knows he has to trick people into voting for him by denying his creed.
...
As long as his constituency was only Massachusetts, Kerry didn't have to fudge his liberalism much--hence the 92% ADA rating. But winning the presidency is a different story, so the rating dips a bit (to 85% in 2002, the latest available on the ADA website) when he bothers to show up at all, and bizarre sentiments on issues like abortion and gay marriage trickle from his lips.

This week, Missouri, a key presidential battleground state, voted 70% to ban gay marriage. You think Kerry cheered this affirmation of his stated position on the issue? Me neither. But he probably cheered his campaign decision to cover-up his real attitude on the subject.

See, it's not a flip-flop, it's a clip-clop--a Trojan Horse. Spread the word, Cassandra. Maybe they'll listen this time.

Of course, not all the lefties have been tipped the wink. Take Alexander Cockburn:

From where I was sitting, John Kerry's performance at last week's Democratic Convention was the most powerful argument yet offered for voting for Ralph Nader. And the fact that Michael Moore dropped to his knees over the weekend in the company of Bill Maher begging Nader to withdraw only fuels my certainty. Across this year Moore has swiveled from Wesley Clark to Kerry, denied to Jay Leno that he supports the Democrats and fibbed about his advice to Nader in 2000, so who wants to be in the same corner as him, assuming he stayed in one corner long enough for anyone to identify it? Here's John Kerry, offering himself as a man of war, as a former prosecutor, as a candidate who hasn't got one single substantive, useful idea about turning the U.S. economy around and improving the overall state of the world. The only difference from Bush he can identify is that he went to Vietnam, killed Vietnamese and collected a bunch of medals, which some of his Navy colleagues who fought there at the same time say he didn't deserve.

So when it comes to war-fighting in the service of Empire, he's far more bloodthirsty. Come next January, the Anyone behind the desk in the Oval Office may be a bit taller. There'll be those medals on the bookshelf he prudently didn't throw away. Most everything else will stay the same. Kerry's been pretty clear about that, letting his core constituencies know that as President Anyone he's not going to cut them any favors.

Puhleeze! Someone give Al a nudge!

War in Iraq? A majority of the country wants out, certainly most Democrats. Kerry wants in, even more than Bush. When the DNC told Kucinich to stuff his peace plank, Kucinich tugged his forelock and told his followers to shuffle back in under the Big Tent and help elect a man who pledges to fight the war in Iraq better and longer than Bush. Feminist leaders kept their mouths shut when Kerry flew his kite about nominating anti-choice judges. Gay leaders didn't open their lips to utter so much as a squeak when Kerry declared his opposition to same-sex marriages and to civil unions. Did we hear from Norman Lear and People for the American Way as Kerry, the man who voted for the Patriot Act, revived his Tipper Gore-ish posturing about the evils of popular culture? Of course we didn't, even though Kerry voted for the unconstitutional Communications Decency, a piece of legislation that even the prudish Joe Lieberman couldn't stomach.

Kerry told James Hoffa of the Teamsters this spring that he wouldn't touch the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge but would "drill everywhere else like never before." There wasn't a bleat from the big environmental groups. He pledged the same policy again to the American Gas Association a couple of months later, throwing in the prospect of a new trans-Alaska-Canada pipeline for natural gas from the Arctic. Once again the big environmental groups held their tongues.

C'mon Al, get with the program and don't be such a party pooper! The candidate doesn't actually have to do anything he says he will. This is especially true for Lurch since it's so hard to figure out what he did say. Besides, If Lurch wins, you won't get to help pick the Kerry dream Cabinet.

posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 8:28 AM -