What makes it heartbreaking, people say, is how eagerly Sherri Simmons looked forward to moving into the new farmhouse-style house just off Lake Street in Minneapolis.
"I've been excited from beginning to end," she said in 1998 as the house neared completion.
This was no ordinary house. It was a house stuffed with straw -- in the walls, in the foundation, and, under the original plans, in the attic.
The nonprofit developers boasted that the house was only the third straw-insulated house erected under the Minnesota building code. They touted it as a groundbreaker for sustainable and affordable construction.
Then the straw began to rot.
Simmons no longer lives in the house because it no longer exists. It was condemned by the city and demolished last year.
Notice the keyword: "nonprofit".
Two Minneapolis nonprofit agencies, Southside Neighborhood Housing Services and the Community Eco-Design Network, teamed up in the mid-1990s and worked together on the straw-bale house.
Eco-Design co-founders Eric Hart and Rick Peterson said they could deliver a house with prefabricated modular construction for less cost than standard city-subsidized housing.
Their system included insulating straw bales stacked inside a post-and-beam frame. Instead of a basement, a slab of concrete was poured over additional bales. ... Southside had a 20-year record of providing loans and grants to people with moderate or lower incomes to buy and renovate housing. It acted as the house's developer, while Eco-Design's role was winning plan approval, handling bidding and managing construction.
One preconstruction budget for the project totaled $91,000, but the house ended up costing more than $200,000, Hart said. The state contributed $20,000, and other nonprofits committed more. Southside absorbed the brunt of the costs, selling the house to Simmons for $83,000.
Nice discount! And it sounds like the taxpayers (AKA the "state") only got clipped for 20K! Such a deal! But wait, there's more.
I'll skip the construction details, the "volunteer" work crew charging their power tools with solar cells, the mold, and the city condemning the house after the removal of the moldy straw caused the house to sway in the wind. Instead, let's track down the money:
Still, condemnation didn't seal the house's fate. Southside could have made the repairs. But Rogers said Southside didn't have enough money.
In 2000, a state audit had severely criticized Southside's handling of more than $1.1 million in public money.
Notice the key phrase "public money". Our tax dollars are hard at work again. This time providing entertainment.
It's tin foil beanie time, eh! Mark Steyn in the Telegraph:
But if I had to name my all-time favourite cabal to which Bush is in thrall it would have to be the one revealed in a long think-piece in the Boston Globe the other week. The Globe identified the various murky figures who've been the most assiduous promoters of the new American imperium: David Frum, the Bush speechwriter who coined two thirds of the phrase "axis of evil" (his original idea was "axis of hate"); Charles Krauthammer of the Washington Post; Michael Ignatieff of Harvard; and Mark Steyn, some loser with a Brit newspaper.
And what do all these unsavoury characters have in common? Circumcision? Gefilte fish? No; as the Globe noted, "Frum, Steyn, Krauthammer, and Ignatieff all hail from Canada".
A cabal of sinister Canadians? Oh, sure, go ahead, scoff. But, if Tony Blair is under the control of a cabal of sinister Jews, what you really need to ask yourself is what cabal is the cabal of sinister Jews under the control of?
Unforeseen Consequences Alert! Victorino Matus at the Weekly Standard:
The GROM Factor Haven't heard of Poland's Special Forces? They're real, they're serious, and they're here to save the day.
IT CAME AS A SURPRISE to many when the U.S. postwar plans for Iraq were finally revealed. Like Gaul, Iraq would be divided into three parts: an American zone, a British zone, and a Polish zone. But what role did Poland play during the war? It turns out a very important one--albeit one that was kept mostly secret.
One of the primary objectives during the early stages of Operation Iraqi Freedom was the port at Umm Qasr. Without it, delivering adequate humanitarian aid to the rest of Iraq would have been nearly impossible for the coalition. Not long after the start of the war, the port was secured--in large part thanks to GROM, Poland's elite commandos.
Who even knew Poland had special forces? For a while, not many. The Polish government waited three years before publicly disclosing GROM's existence. Standing for Grupa Reagowania Operacyjno Mobilnego (Operational Mobile Response Group), the name actually stems from a special-forces commander, Gromoslaw Czempinski, who, during the first Gulf War, led a Polish unit into Western Iraq to rescue a group of CIA operatives. One of the other men on that secret mission was Slawomir Petelicki--the father of GROM.
Much more about GROM by following the link. It was certainly nice to have them at the ball. But not everyone is smiling according to Roger Boyes at the UK Times:
Germans dismayed that Poles could command their troops
GERMANY has responded angrily to a proposal that its troops be deployed in northern Iraq under the command of Poland, one of the newest members of Nato.
The United States recommended that Poland take over the military administration of northern Iraq, in charge of peacekeeping duties. The force under its command would number about 7,000, including contingents from Nato members such as Romania, Bulgaria and possibly Germany.
Peter Struck, the German Defence Minister, said he would "look into" the proposal, but was clearly opposed.
Poland, which contributed 200 men to coalition forces in Iraq, had promised 10,000 men for a peacekeeping force. This has shrunk to 1,500, with troops from other countries added. The US will be responsible for central Iraq and Britain for the south.
Neither Germany nor France had expected to take a leading military role in postwar Iraq, but the idea that Poland could take charge has stirred a hornets’ nest. President Kwasniewski of Poland will try to resolve the matter when he meets German and French leaders tomorrow, but there is no mistaking the dismay in "old Europe" as Poland flexes its muscles.
What's that annoying whine I hear?
posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 11:49 PM -
Plastic trees, goldfish swimming in a generator-powered fountain, posters of the dead on the wall: This is a model of the paradise Islamic militants say awaits those killed in fighting with Israel, including suicide bombers.
The display at the West Bank's largest university, An Najah, was assembled by supporters of the violent Hamas group who said they wanted to raise students' morale after 31 months of fighting with Israel.
Sounds like a real hootenanny! But what about the ... you know ... virgins?
Missing from the display of heaven were the 72 virgins. Organizers said they weren't sure how to depict them. "We don't know what (heavenly) virgins look like," said one of the organizers, a Hamas member and engineering student who only gave his first name, Ahmed.
Everyone's doing it! On Wednesday I mentioned that John Bono was building an Axis of Weasels card deck over at No Replacement for Displacement. Now I see that NewsMax is selling a Deck of Weasels:
Life in the minor leagues Minor league baseball is a world apart from the "big business" major leagues as Jeff D'Alessio reports in Florida Today:
Win or lose, the Brevard County Manatees and Vero Beach Dodgers are strongly advised to leave the field immediately following tonight's Florida State League baseball game in Viera.
Either that, or run the risk of getting trampled by hundreds of moms on a mission.
Tonight is "Don Traver's World Famous Diamond Dig" at Space Coast Stadium, when women are invited to tear up the infield for a chance to win half-carat diamond earrings.
"They squeal, they scream, they yell," said Traver, a Suntree jeweler. "They'll dig until their hands get blisters. Some of them even come with kneepads.
"Quite frankly, all you see are butts and elbows, I'm telling you."
Here's how it works: Before today's 5:05 p.m. doubleheader, white chips which can be redeemed for diamonds will be buried in the infield clay between first and third base. Following the second game, any woman 18 and older -- preferably mothers -- can come onto the field, where they'll be given half of a paint stirring stick. When Traver, the emcee, gives the go sign, they're free to start digging.
The best part is that no goofballs have yet popped up claiming that having it limited to women only is unfair to the transgendered or similar dreck.
The Dig, an old promotion brought to Brevard seven years ago by Dunn, has been borrowed by other minor-league teams, which are always looking for creative ways to put fannies in the seats.
And, boy, do they come up with some doozies. Here's a list of the 20 best that we discovered in an informal survey of minor-league executives.
Much hilarity in the list - here's one I liked:
Animals -- real or fake -- are always good for a few chuckles. Like Laura the Elephant, whom the West Michigan Whitecaps hired in 1997 to throw out the first pitch. "She did fine many times," said Matt O'Brien, now the GM of the Myrtle Beach (S.C.) Pelicans. "But the best was when she took the ball and ate it right there on our pitcher's mound."
Better that end than the other end! Nothing like a mound on the mound.
My anti-Americanism has become almost uncontrollable. It has possessed me, like a disease. It rises up in my throat like acid reflux, that fashionable American sickness. I now loathe the United States and what it has done to Iraq and the rest of the helpless world.
There's much more in a similar vein with some special rancor for the troops who paint names and shark's teeth on their vehicles. Apparently Maggie is really, really, really upset that the coalition forces kicked some Islamofascist butt.
Aside from wondering how Maggie came to lose her medications, I was mostly puzzled as to who the hell Margaret Drabble was. A little Googling produced the fact that she's an author and that:
Lonely pregnancies, jealous sisters, fears of physicality, and loss of identity are Margaret Drabble's specialties.
Well I'll be gobsmacked - all of the literati down at the store had completely overlooked this paragon!
A belly flop contest at Campus Pool this weekend got a little fishy during one fraternity's performance.
Junior business economics major Kevin Sanderson was sent to the hospital Sunday after a mishap in the belly flop competition at the Delta Gamma Anchor Splash. Sanderson entered the competition with three of his Sigma Chi fraternity brothers - Jeff Thorp, Sten Ericson and Gavin Kelly - and three dead catfish. During the course of events, Sanderson ended up with a fish stuck to his face and a trip to the hospital.
"It was hilarious," Sanderson said. "The guys were laughing and I was laughing too, but the girls were all screaming."
A Northamptonshire man who was fascinated with explosives blew himself up after putting a home-made pipe bomb in his mouth and lighting the fuse, an inquest has heard.
Kevin Barnes, 20, of Joseph Priestly Court in Daventry, took the device into his mouth and flicked a lighter as his petrified flatmates and girlfriend looked on. ... His girlfriend, Elizabeth Elliot, said: "My opinion was that Kevin was mucking about but didn't actually mean for the pipe bomb to go off.
So what was he going to do with the lit pipe bomb? Hand it to Liz?
Complaining of low pay, cold rooms and air laden with paint fumes and charcoal dust, models who pose nude at a Philadelphia art school voted Wednesday to join a union.
"We were at a loss about how to get the schools to pay attention to us," said Claire Hankins, 39, who led the effort to organize artists' models at the Moore College of Art and Design. ... Hankins wants the all-women's art school to raise its $11 hourly rate and provide its 40 to 60 models with warm, clean, safe spaces in which to work.
The Moore models said that disrobing for art school classes is hard work that requires them to hold a pose for long periods under sometimes difficult conditions. The studios at Moore and other art schools often lack private changing areas, adequate heaters and outside air, Hankins said.
"In the building where models do most of their work, there's no fresh air coming in," said Hankins, a model for nearly 20 years. ... Gary Kapanowski, a District 47 organizer, said he does not know of any other school in the country where nude models have organized, though he hopes that will change. "The labor movement needs to reach out to constituencies beyond the normal groups," he said.
Yes, there is a picture in the original article, but don't click through just for that.
The Chinese navy was unaware that one of its submarines was in trouble until a fisherman spotted the vessel's periscope sticking out of the water close to an offshore island.
That must have been a heck of a 911 call.
It is not clear how long the accident happened before the vessel was discovered by the fisherman, but the fact that the navy did not know one of its submarines was missing is an additional humiliation for a military unused to the glare of publicity.
Around 70 sailors on board the vessel, the crew plus 14 observers, were found suffocated "at their posts", victims of a sudden mechanical malfunction that may have been caused by human error, navy sources quoted on the internet said. ... On state television on Monday night, President Hu Jintao, and Jiang Zemin, his predecessor who is still head of the central military commission and commander-in-chief, were seen touring the boat and meeting relatives of the dead. ... "Sources said they were not discounting the possibility that a crew member may have mistaken an exhaust valve for an intake valve resulting in the suffocation of the entire crew," it said, without explaining how this could happen.
Another theory is that a chemical leak "perhaps caused by battery fluid mixing with seawater" might have affected the ship.
A third, from a Hong Kong defence specialist quoted by the South China Morning Post suggested that a new diesel engine was undergoing tests.
Diesel-powered submarines are supposed to switch off their engines during a dive and run on batteries, and if this procedure failed, the crew's oxygen could have been used up.
Mistakes will always happen, but we're talking a technology that is a century old.
NASHVILLE, TN Wednesday 5.7.2003 /netmusiccountdown.com/ -- According to the father of the Erwin sisters, Dixie Chicks, Martie (MaGuire) and Emily (Robison), the Chicks didn't exactly pose nude for their now famous Entertainment Weekly cover. Paul Erwin reportedly says the nudity was accomplished by an accomplished air-brush artist, so reports MJI.
Aw shucks!
The point being what exactly? To insure they didn't gross out the photographer? Oh well, they needed the air brush job for Natalie anyway.
Her long-awaited White House book, Living History, won’t be in stores for another month, but there’s already speculation about how much writing help Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.) got from her two "assistants," author Maryanne Vollers and former Washington Post reporter Lissa Muscatine. ... But the pair could hardly fare any worse than Clinton’s collaborator on It Takes a Village, Barbara Feinman Todd. ... Her contract to help Clinton with It Takes a Village called for an expression of thanks and a payment of $120,000.
All went well until just before the book was published, when Todd learned her name didn’t appear in the acknowledgements. Then she began hearing talk that she’d been fired from the project, which was untrue. Later, when it was time to collect the final $30,000 installment of her collaboration fee, she was told the White House didn’t want her to be paid.
A few phone calls to Simon & Schuster from powerful Washington friends, including the Post’s Bob Woodward, one of her clients, finally got Todd a check for her work. The publisher also agreed to pay her Clinton-related legal bills.
Afterward, said Todd, she continued receiving Christmas cards from the Clintons but her name was always misspelled.
Sen. John Edwards’ presidential campaign finance documents show a pattern of giving by low-level employees at law firms, a number of whom appear to have limited financial resources and no prior record of political donations.
Records submitted to the Federal Election Commission (FEC) show these individuals have often given $2,000 to the North Carolina Democrat, the maximum permitted by law.
In many instances, all the checks from a given firm arrived on the same day - from partners, attorneys, and other support staff.
Some of these support staff have not voted in the past, and those who have voted include registered Republicans, according to public records on file with various county registrars of voting.
Edwards’ campaign records also reveal that many of these individuals’ spouses and relatives contributed the maximum on the same day. The Hill found many of them to be first-time givers. Some have no previous demonstrable interest in politics, while others appear to be active Republicans. ... A 2002 survey conducted by the Legal Assistant Management Association (LAMA) found that paralegals earn an average pre-tax salary of $44,416. Clerks make $30,345 on average, and managers receive $81,151. LAMA noted that salaries for legal assistants in San Francisco, San Jose and Los Angeles tend to be 11-29 percent higher than those nationwide.
Jennifer Palmieri, a spokeswoman for Edwards, told The Hill that the pattern of low-level employee contributions "doesn’t concern us" and that the Edwards campaign is "proud of our compliance record."
Many case studies of individual contributors by following the link.
U.S. intelligence agencies are intensifying the search in Europe for officials of Saddam Hussein's government who fled Iraq with the help of French passports, U.S. officials said yesterday.
The search efforts were strengthened after intelligence sources reported that France's government secretly provided fleeing Iraqi officials with European Union travel documents in Syria that allowed them to escape to other countries, said U.S. officials, speaking on the condition of anonymity.
This goes way beyond merely being annoying pissants.
Black Ice Alert! I must admit that I have little interest in the recording industry other than the occasional subrational bloviations of the "stars". But Jack Russell in The Inquirer calls attention to a really bad idea - RIAA, MPAA threaten software cluster bombs:
According to Cnet, all of the major record companies including Vivendi's Universal Music Group, AOL Time Warner's Warner Music Group, Sony Music Entertainment, Bertelsmann's BMG and EMI Group have invested into small software companies dedicated to building programs to attack the PCs of people who download pirated music or movies.
The effects of such programs range from re-directing the user to a site where they can download the media legitimately -- which is rather harmless -- to locking up a system for minutes or even hours. It's been suggested that other programs are under development that would trigger a DoS (Denial of Service) attack against an offending customer as well.
Aside from the inevitable lawsuits, it's clearly a recipe for internet warfare that the recording industry isn't sure to win.
Fabulously wealthy Teresa Heinz, wife of Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry, dishes an earful to writer Lisa DePaulo in the upcoming issue of Elle magazine ...
Her financial arrangement with Kerry: "Everybody has a prenup. You have to have a prenup. You've got to have a prenup. You could be as generous or as sensitive as you want. But you have to have a prenup."
I'll have a prenup on rye with Swiss. But wait there's more:
Her regular Botox treatments: "In fact I need another one. Soon." As for cosmetic surgery, "when I need it, I'll get it." She confides that she'd like to fix her nose, which has gotten "bulbier" with age.
Her views on marital fidelity: "I don't think I could have coped so well" with a mate's philandering as Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.) has. "I used to say to my husband, my late husband, 'If you ever get something I'll maim you. Not kill you, just maim you.' And we'd laugh, laugh, laugh." Heinz adds that she has never had any reason to suspect either of her husbands. "Not for one day, because what I expect of them, they have a right to expect of me. Maybe I'm into 18-year-olds." At which Heinz's campaign handler, former political journalist Chris Black, cautioned bleakly: "That was a joke."
Mr. Black is having a lot of Maalox moments.
But what does big John say?
The candidate, meanwhile, praises the prospective first lady as "nurturing and incredibly loving, and fun, zany, witty. . . . Definitely sexy. Very earthy, sexy, European. She knows how to speak with her eyes."
Sho 'nuff! Don't forget to lay a huge honking liplock on her at the convention!
But be careful of her tin foil beanie.
posted by Cracker Barrel Philosopher at 11:05 AM -
Behind the Iraq card deck Niles Lathem in the NY Post gives some ink to the guys who thought up the ubiquitous Iraqi "most wanted" card deck:
When they first came up with the idea of putting the list of the 55 most-wanted Iraqi regime figures on a deck of playing cards, a group of obscure analysts for the Defense Intelligence Agency had no idea they were creating a media sensation.
"It was supposed to be a training tool for the soldiers in the field. We were surprised to see it on eBay and all over the media. We did not intend to create a firestorm, and we are amazed that it has gotten this cult following," one of the deck's creators, Army analyst Staff Sgt. Shawn Mahoney, told The Post.
The five are Lt. Hans Mumm, Sgt. Andrei Salter, Staff Sgt. Shawn Mahoney, Sgt. Scott Boehmler and Spc. Joseph Barrios.
All but one member of the group are Army reservists who were called up to a special Iraq task force during the war.
One member of the group is a Philadelphia cop. Another works in the marketing department of a company that manufactures robotics. ... "The idea is to get these pictures out there to the troops without forcing them to read another training manual," said group member Lt. Hans Mumm.
Electoral hijinks alert! George Will comments on the upcoming presidential primaries:
Coming immediately after the Jan. 19 Iowa Caucuses and the Jan. 27 New Hampshire primary, South Carolina's Feb. 3 primary will the be first time African-American voters - perhaps almost 40 percent of the turnout - will be so important so early in the nominating process. But Delaware, Missouri, Arizona, New Mexico and Oklahoma also may vote that day, and Michigan votes four days later. The nominee almost certainly will be known no later than the evening of March 2, when California, New York, Maryland and perhaps Ohio will vote.
This is perilous. If such a compressed schedule had existed in 1984, when Gary Hart acquired astonishing momentum by upsetting Walter Mondale in New Hampshire, Hart would have won the nomination before Mondale had time to regroup and grind him down. The potential for volatility among Democrats is suggested by a poll conducted April 10-16 by the Pew Research Center showing that 69 percent of Democrats cannot name any of the nine candidates. Kerry, the most frequently named, is named by just 9 percent of respondents. Nine percent think Al Gore is running.
Anti-war MP George Galloway claims he was pelted with stones when he spoke at a May Day rally.
The Glasgow Kelvin MP was speaking at a workers' festival in Wallasey, Merseyside, to a crowd of around 200 supporters.
When he began his speech, a shaven-headed man threw three objects including eggs and shouted: "You are up Saddam's a...." ... The egg thrower was arrested by police to prevent a breach of the peace.
"I was not pelted. Two known members of the far-right BNP threw a couple of eggs at me but because I am a Scotsman and they are far-right activists I managed to avoid them," he said.
Makes about as much sense as the rest of Georgie's patter. I wonder how much he paid the yobs?
LONDON, England (Reuters) -- A masked and caped do-gooder has been sweeping through an English town, performing good deeds and scattering terrified bad guys, a local newspaper reported on Friday.
The Kent and Sussex Courier said it had received letters from "stunned residents" of the town of Tunbridge Wells, southeast of London, who saw the man in a brown mask and cape scare off hooligans and return a woman's dropped purse.
"To my great surprise," the paper quoted 21-year-old psychology student Ellen Neville as saying, "a masked man wearing a brown cape rushed past me to assist a woman who was having a bother with a group of youths.
"He swept in, broke up the commotion and ran off, leaving myself and the woman in a state of shock," she said.
A man wrote to say he was being chased by some youths when the hero appeared and "shocked the gang so much they ran off."
Another woman wrote to say the crusader had tapped her on her shoulder to return her purse.
"If only there were more people around with this kind-hearted spirit," she said.
Celebrity news from Down Under! Tim Blair notes the incredibly acute sensitivity of actor Laurence Fishburne who describes an Australian racist "vibe" that is "similar to the US in the 1950s".
A BA spokeswoman said: "We're delighted to see that British Airways' spacious flat beds in first class are being put to good use. It is a welcome example of how our unique flat beds offer not only great comfort, but room enough for two."
Meanwhile Professor Bunyip, while deconstructing Phatty Adams' recent bloviations, observes that Bobby Fisk has a like minded girl friend. A truly shocking thought! Let's hope they don't breed.
(All the above links seem to be bloggered. Just head directly to Tim's place or the Billabong and scroll down.)
CARSON CITY - Terry Landau, 53, was taken to Fillmore Hospital in this Nevada city after he hyperventilated and lapsed into exhaustion. His wife says he was over-speculating about Bob Dylan's religious views.
"He does this all the time," Lisa Landau said. "He sits there on the couch surrounded by albums, reading liner notes and lyrics. He's got a closet full of charts and graphs. If he hasn't figured it out by now, maybe this will be a wake-up call. It's starting to affect his health."
After nurses administered oxygen and an IV, Terry perked up.
"His first request was for a copy of 'Slow Train Coming,'" the nurse attending him told reporters. "But we felt it wise to not re-introduce any aggravants."
Landau oversees a web site and chat group called All Things Dylan, where many messages of support were posted. He and Linda have two sons, Zimmy and Jokerman.
New Hampshire awoke Saturday to find its stern granite symbol of independence and stubbornness, the Old Man of the Mountain, had collapsed into indistinguishable rubble.
The fall ended nearly a century of efforts to protect the giant mountainside landmark from the same natural forces that created it. Only stabilizing cables and epoxy remained Saturday where the famous ledges had clung.
But medical evidence is mounting that moderate beer consumption - one to two beers daily - does a body good.
Yee-haw! And amongst the evidence is bad news for spammers:
Forget about Viagra. Have a beer instead. "Moderate amounts of beer lessens arterial sclerosis, one of the causes of erectile dysfunction," Dr. Pavel Zemek said last year after announcing results of clinical studies on beer’s healthful properties at the Czech Center of Gerontology in Prague.
Actually, there is never any bad news for spammers - now they'll be hawking beer.
I must have missed it Charles Hurt in the Washington Times on yesterday's Democrat party presidential candidate debate - No Democrat bolts from pack:
The nine Democratic candidates for president debated last night for the first time in a post-war environment, but no surprising differences emerged.
The event, which was moderated by George Stephanopoulos, at times appeared amateurish because of microphone problems and a stage that looked thrown together by a high school drama class.
It was sponsored by ABC, but the television network decided against airing it live. The Washington affiliate opted to air "Gladiator," the movie about great battles in the Roman Coliseum.
But in Columbia, there were no such great battles.
Well, that's certainly a snoozer. But there were some lighter moments:
Mr. Kucinich, who is widely regarded as a long shot, argued for raising taxes, ending free trade and, later in the debate, said that bankrupting the city of Cleveland as its mayor was a "badge of honor."
Way to go Dennis - that'll get the voters lined up!
And then:
Several candidates waded into the controversy of the flying of the Confederate flag on the Statehouse grounds by agreeing to honor the NAACP's economic boycott of the state during the debate trip. They slept and ate at the homes of supporters instead of patronizing restaurants and hotels.
Unless these candidates brought all their food and supplies with them, it isn't clear to me how merely staying at a supporter's home qualifies as a boycott. But hey, it's Democrat Wonderland.
Meanwhile, protesters outside the party convention waved Confederate flags and signs that read, "Yankee go home."
"It is a sort of disease when you consider yourself some kind of god, the creator of everything, but I feel comfortable about it now since I began to live it out."
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